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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being too uptight?

137 replies

SeptemberWeGotFire · 27/03/2023 23:11

I’m planning a night for a couple of friends at mine, food and drink etc. it’ll kind of be an all day thing.

Friend has said she has to bring her dog. I really don’t want her too, my house is very white and it’s a puppy (maybe just under 1) and so I’m worried it’ll get overexcite. Also I hate the thought of it shitting in my garden and her bagging it up to leave in my dustbin.

I know I probably sound awful and uptight and please don’t think I’m screaming at people to use coasters or to not have liquids near the white sofa.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 28/03/2023 17:34

I love dogs but wouldn’t allow this. The invitation is to your friends, not friends + pets. She needs to get dogsitters or find someone who will take him for a few hours when she goes out, not decide that she can take him everywhere with her. It’s part of being a responsible dog owner.

Irridescantshimmmer · 28/03/2023 17:37

Don't let your friend dictate to you, its your house and its on your terms.

AllTheDifference · 28/03/2023 17:41

Yuk. No dogs allowed in my house ever. And it’s not white.

Gymnopedie · 28/03/2023 17:41

The other thing to bear in mind is that if she were to bring said puppy, it would likely change the dynamic of the day. She'd be focussed on the dog, and quite possibly expect you and other friend to be too.

SallyWD · 28/03/2023 17:42

My friend's just got 2 extremely lively springer spaniel puppies. They cause havoc wherever they go! She wants to stay at my house for a few days with the dogs. No way!! Firstly, I don't want the house wrecked. Secondly, I have a cat who's absolutely terrified of dogs. It would cause so much unnecessary stress to my cat.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 28/03/2023 17:46

I don't think she's unreasonable to ask and I don't think you're unreasonable to say no.

If she asks and it's a yes, she can come and stay for the day.
If she asks and you say no, she either needs other arrangements or cut her day short.
If she doesn't ask and you then said you thought she'd just bring it, she's cut short her day or made alternative plans unnecessarily.
If she doesn't ask and just turns up with it you're in the position of turning her away and her missing everything.

Perfectly sensible of her to ask you so she knows to make alternative arrangements.

Drifta · 28/03/2023 17:48

This is one of those don't justify, don't explain situations. It's fine to say no (I would too) but don't get dragged into debates about exactly what th puppy might or might not do, and whether this would or would not be acceptable.

Also don't be offended if she then can't come. She doesn't owe it to you to find a sitter.

Apple95 · 28/03/2023 17:54

I think this is unfair, the friend has likely asked if she can bring the dog because she doesn’t want it to be left on it’s own all day describing her as a ‘dog nutter’ is silly.

For what it’s worth you are not unreasonable to not want the dog there but it might mean your friend can only stay for a shorter amount of time

Apple95 · 28/03/2023 17:55

Apple95 · 28/03/2023 17:54

I think this is unfair, the friend has likely asked if she can bring the dog because she doesn’t want it to be left on it’s own all day describing her as a ‘dog nutter’ is silly.

For what it’s worth you are not unreasonable to not want the dog there but it might mean your friend can only stay for a shorter amount of time

This was meant to be in response to someone calling her friend a dog nutter but I forgot to click quote! 🙄

SchoolTripDrama · 28/03/2023 20:15

CryHavok · 27/03/2023 23:58

YANBU but expect screeching from your friend, dog nutters are pretty unreasonable.

Since when did people who like Dogs (normal people!) become "Dog Nutters?!" FFS.

My mum always told me to never, EVER trust someone who isn't an animal lover.

SchoolTripDrama · 28/03/2023 20:20

@Phoebo Only some breeds smell & slobber.

Our Schnauzer does neither! He also doesn't lose fur - none at all! He doesn't chew, doesn't fart and is beautifully house trained. Schnauzers are also hypoallergenic ✔️

His only crime is woofing at the Postman (who adores him!) That's literally it!

SchoolTripDrama · 28/03/2023 20:24

AllTheDifference · 28/03/2023 17:41

Yuk. No dogs allowed in my house ever. And it’s not white.

Biscuit
SchoolTripDrama · 28/03/2023 20:26

happysingleversary · 28/03/2023 17:17

Dogs are awful. If they get excited and wee on your carpet that won't be fun.
In your house there's no such thing as too uptight. That's your sanctuary, your home.

No kids? No rabbits? No shoes?

It's all completely up to you. The one thing we have to ourselves is our home.

Hmm

Do you feel better for saying that?! Getting that little statement in of your obvious dislike of dogs. Gotta offend them dog lovers, right?! Biscuit

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 28/03/2023 20:26

I'd say no. We are a no dog household.

You could suggest she comes and lets it stay in the garden, or in one room such as the utility if you are feeling generous.

CryHavok · 28/03/2023 20:44

SchoolTripDrama · 28/03/2023 20:15

Since when did people who like Dogs (normal people!) become "Dog Nutters?!" FFS.

My mum always told me to never, EVER trust someone who isn't an animal lover.

Show quote history

Dog nutter comment. I like animals and have pets myself, but I don’t expect to take them everywhere with me.

HarLace1 · 28/03/2023 21:49

Absolutely not being uptight I would 100% be the same and I love animals but not in my new house with my new carpets lol! And I have a cat but he don't really do much tbh.

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 29/03/2023 06:47

Ashleighz88 · 27/03/2023 23:41

I wouldn't bother having anyone around tbh, I have a friend like this about her "perfect white livingroom" and honestly we all agreed to avoid planning nights at hers, you simply cannot relax and enjoy the night because you are worrying about spilling something or accidentally ruining something, it's not enjoyable.

Literally all you have to do is be careful as you should be in anyone’s home.

OP I also like a tidy house. We are shoes off and I expect everyone to use a coaster on my one of a kind hand carved antique table and people come round all the time and respect my things as I do theirs!

I absolutely wouldn’t let someone bring their dog round, the smell lingers, it will bring in mud and slobber and I wouldn't be able to relax at all. DP is also very allergic so that’s convenient really…can you say that? 😂

Augend23 · 29/03/2023 06:50

In addition to the whole "excited puppy on my things" problem, NGL I get fed up with every other sentence being discussion of what the dog is doing/has done/is going to do. I find this is generally most acute if the dog is there.

I don't mind dogs but I don't find them an especially exciting conversation topic.

WeWereInParis · 29/03/2023 07:00

I don't think she's unreasonable to ask (although from your OP it doesn't sound like she's asked, more that she's told you she has to bring it). But I don't think you're at all unreasonable to say no either. My house is far from pristine, and I don't want a dog here.

BCfan · 29/03/2023 07:18

Yes you're being upright, but not unreasonable to not want a dog in your house

Doone21 · 29/03/2023 07:24

I don't understand people that insist on taking their dog to everything

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 29/03/2023 07:31

YANBU tell her to leave the dog at home.

SpringIntoChaos · 29/03/2023 07:33

I absolutely love dogs...and even I wouldn't want someone's puppy in my house all day/evening if it was a group social. The entire dynamic would change and the focus would be the dog...it wouldn't be relaxing to have a puppy scampering around. I wouldn't mind an older dog, as they would just do their own thing (my own would just ignore everyone and sleep, after the initial 'hello humans' sniff).

Just say no 🤷‍♀️

SpringIntoChaos · 29/03/2023 07:34

CryHavok · 27/03/2023 23:58

YANBU but expect screeching from your friend, dog nutters are pretty unreasonable.

'Dog nutters' 🤦‍♀️🙄

Sceptre86 · 29/03/2023 07:34

It's your house and you should have said it is a dog free zone straight away. I wouldn't care about the dog poo issue as I'm not squeamish about stuff like that but it's fair enough if you are.