Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

675 replies

Elephantinthemoon · 27/03/2023 21:10

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

OP posts:
yogaretreat · 27/03/2023 21:55

Can you deliveroo something and then just tell nurses you are running down? Won't that be 5 mins tops?

It seems crazy if your child can't be cared for by medical staff in a hospital for 5 mins?!

704703hey · 27/03/2023 21:56

I think your options are ask staff about a sandwich or deliveroo.

Like others I would be happy to drop off sandwiches/fruit/chocolate/flask of tea if it's the hospital near me but this is tricky on a public board. Hope you get something though.

Yogazmum · 27/03/2023 21:56

Ponoka7 · 27/03/2023 21:16

You should be fed. Ask the ward manager if this is their trusts policy. The sandwiches for the patients don't last long, the Nurses grab them, but they should be able to do you toast.

We feed BF mums on our ward but we aren’t allowed to eat sandwiches as staff. It’s classed as stealing and dismissible offence!

OP… explain as you’re BF is there an option for you to get some food. I usually make mums
some toast if the staff kitchen has closed so
i’m sure one of the HCA staff can sort that out. Hospital toast is the best!
Double check on the vending machine option as well. Wait until your little one is asleep or ask if a staff member will watch them while you grab some food.

whynotwhatknot · 27/03/2023 21:56

youre no good to him if yu pass out and have to be admitted yourself

ask one of the nurses to stay with him whilst you g and get some food

Dinopawus · 27/03/2023 21:56

Deliveroo / Uber eats is probably the way to go at this time of night.

Fortunately, most hospitals with paeds units are in locations surrounded by a good choice of takeaways.

I hope your DC is sorted out soon.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/03/2023 21:56

It is very difficult - most wards don't feed parents (apart from tea, coffee and biscuits in the family room), and the nurses tend to make sad faces if you say you are leaving for five minutes to get food. You just have to ignore the faces and go anyway, because eating is not optional.

I have always had people to bring me food and toothpaste and deodorant etc but I did wonder what would happen if I didn't.

JudgeRudy · 27/03/2023 21:56

lordspikey · 27/03/2023 21:34

@JudgeRudy are you serious? Would you leave your 1 year old son overnight in a hospital?

Most people don't even leave their kids with family members overnight until they're older.

I wouldn't leave my kids in hospital overnight unless they were teens and even then that's a push.

@lordspikey But she's saying she can't even get to a vending machine as he's fitting. Surely if he's fitting that's for the staff to manage. Yes, I can see a parent wanting to sooth their child but I didn't realise they had to 'look after them ' ...as in care for them whilst they fitted.

changeme4this · 27/03/2023 21:57

What hospital are you in? Perhaps the hive mind can point you to the nearest in-hospital cafe or make a suggestion as to who to contact to have someone watch bub while you organise food delivery to the hospital as a last ditch effort.

Hbh17 · 27/03/2023 21:57

But you were not on a ward, and not a patient, so YABU.

hanisnsj · 27/03/2023 21:57

When my DD was in hospital at around 18 months i asked if we would have food because i hadn't eaten and my DD hadn't had her lunch yet (had to rush in to hospital as an emergency) and they brought out food for both of us, DD had a lunch box thing with a sandwich, yoghurt, drink etc and they offered me a sandwich and tea and biscuits. I think you need to just ask because they wont know you're unable to get food either wise.

nuttynet · 27/03/2023 21:58

Ask a nurse or assistant for help

Ask them. We cant help

Somebody will help you

Zonder · 27/03/2023 21:58

ThatFraggle · 27/03/2023 21:53

Speak to someone.

"We've been here since xpm last night and all he's been given are, xyz. What are the arrangements for his food?

They'll say what they say.

Then you: And I'm in the same boat but I didn't even have [what he had]. What are the ways other parents who are on their own get something to eat? I'm worried about leaving him alone to go to the shop because he is very poorly and will be scared by himself.

This. Do this.

AliceMcK · 27/03/2023 22:00

No I wouldn’t expect you to be fed. I would never dream of going to A &E without plenty of snacks either. Last time I was admitted was with my 10week old baby at the time. It was the middle of the night so I had snacks and formula. In the morning I just told the nurses I needed someone to stay with my baby while I went to the shop & stocked up on food. I didn’t give them a choice, I needed to eat and pee and she was only 10 weeks old and couldn’t be left alone so they needed to stay with her.

Viviennemary · 27/03/2023 22:00

No I dont think you can expect to be fed as you aren't the patient. Was there not a cafe on site. And your partner should have come if things were desperate. And if baby is now on a ward why can't you go for food.

Yorkshiredolls · 27/03/2023 22:01

order a takeaway/ deliveroo and get it delivered to your ward, or the hospital reception. The staff on nights do this all the time.

Lamelie · 27/03/2023 22:01

londonrach · 27/03/2023 21:15

No. Your DC is the patient not you. At least that's my local hospital. Is there food you can buy onsite

Breastfeeding mothers are fed. Although it’s usually children’s food. When I’ve stayed in with babies I’ve waited until they were asleep then told the nurses I was off to find some food. I even ran home once I was so desperate for some fruit.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/03/2023 22:01

No, they are not ‘expected’ to feed you. They will feed your son.

Ask a friend to drop some food in for you?

BTW I have epilepsy so feel free to pm me. Hope all goes ok tonight.

Moser85 · 27/03/2023 22:01

Definitely ask on a local facebook group if you don't have any friends etc who can help you out.
Someone will definitely help!

Sallyh87 · 27/03/2023 22:01

Order deliveroo to the hospital ward?

Seryse · 27/03/2023 22:02

You aren't the patient, so why should they? Sounds cruel but you aren't their responsibility, and they probably don't have the extra food - the hostesses order the food in in the morning (in my trust anyways) with a few extra portions to allow allocation for new patients, they'd never get the food trolley through the door if they had to feed all the parents/carers too and the NHS could not possibly sustain that. As others have said, they can't even pay staff enough.

I know its an emotional time as your wee one isn't well, but you're starting to come across as a hit entitled. Get your partner to bring in food or order in and tell staff you need to nip to the door to grab it. Hope the wee one gets well soon.

WeightoftheWorld · 27/03/2023 22:02

Our hospital feeds breastfeeding mothers if their baby is under 1.

Lots of people leave their babies on the ward to go and buy food from cafe/vending machine etc if there is nobody else to help bring them food. Lots of parents don't have any other choice and if you're in with a child for longer period, you can't just not eat for days.

Gymmum82 · 27/03/2023 22:02

When dd was admitted when she was about 18 months I left her to get food. I just told the nurses I’d be gone for 15-30 mins whatever to get food. Half the children had no parents with them for long periods of time. This was a regular paeds ward. Just speak up for yourself. Tell someone you haven’t eaten since breakfast and you’re popping out to get some food. It’s their literal job to look after your child especially if he’s seizuring

Beachbreak2411 · 27/03/2023 22:02

You are not the patient. Your child is. Why should the struggling nhs feed you? It’s not a hotel

Poorlittlepoorgirl · 27/03/2023 22:03

Order just eat and meet in reception.

coldmarchmorn · 27/03/2023 22:04

Elephantinthemoon · 27/03/2023 21:50

We have other children, including his twin. He's had to be at home to a) work from home, b) pick up older children from school and put them to bed. By the time we realised the situation that we weren't being put on the ward until this evening and I wasn't going to be fed, he was at home with the other kids and it was bedtime. We are an hour from the hospital as well. He's coming tomorrow once school run is done and he's taken twin to an unrelated appointment.

Show quote history

In the time since you posted the OP you could have ordered online, had it delivered and eaten it.

I don't know why you are making such a palaver about this.

Swipe left for the next trending thread