Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

No one left her without food or drink. She asked and someone provided her with food. That’s all she had to do. The night staff wouldn’t have realised she hadn’t eaten or how long her A&E stay had been until she told them. Holistic care is important and looking after parents is that and staff I work with would absolutely feed mum. But bear in mind how busy a night shift is with admissions and sick kids it won’t always be the first thought when ensuring the child is safe and stable.

I’m pretty sure she and her so will have had breakfast on the ward this morning.

@Elephantinthemoon no one judges takeaways we are just jealous when we smell them. But you would have to leave the ward in our hospital to get them they only deliver to entrance of the hospital.

Don't be such a bitch

I find it astounding that more than 50 years after humana first reached space, it is still beyond our wits to feed people who are stuck in hospitals.

Me too.

Glad you got a sandwich OP and I hope that your little one is soon better.

Tell a nurse that you are leaving your Son as you need to go and eat. Unless your son is really ill, he will be fine with the nurses for half an hour.

I'm in at the moment with DS. They said they would feed me breakfast but only he gets lunch and tea. Can you order a take away?

when I was in hospital with my daughter for a week, I wasn't fed and went to the hospital restaurant for my meals when she was sleeping. I needed a break from the ward too. I went when she was sleeping. We were admitted during the covid lockdown too and they fed me then, but only because the hospital restaurant was shut to patients and they'd put us in an isolation room and wouldn't let patients return home because Covid

When I was geriatric ward they where just general hca who took turns in their shift to do 1 to 1s. Alot of people with dementia forget they can't walk so they literally need someone with them all the time. So I don't understand what your talking about when you say the staff have to be requested and often get denied these are patients without capacity who need to be watched constantly.

I’m a single parent and have been to A and E twice with DS . I grabbed lots of snack food before the ambulance came- crisps, cereal bars etc. Ds was fed in the ward but on another occasion, not whilst waiting in A and E. i would not have expected anything in A and E. On the ward the nurses kindly realised I was on my own and offered me tea when they went to the canteen for their own. Otherwise I would have expected to have left DS and gone to the public canteen.

I'm so sorry OP, I've been there and it's awful. It's got worse in my local hospital since covid as only one parent is allowed in for the duration and there is no swapping allowed unless your child is there for more than 2 nights I think. If you can find a play specialist rather than a nurse sometimes they are able to keep an eye on your child while you get food. When I was in postnatal with ds I wasn't even allowed to leave him asleep or take him with me to the shower. I was told I had to wait for dh to come and watch him. Except dh was busy at home looking after our other dc so he could only ever come for 10 minutes once a day. In the end the ward secretary took pity on me and took sleeping ds in his cot to her office so I could have a shower.

When I have been in hospital with an older child or one who is in theatre I will always ask any parents of little ones if they want something from the shop/cafe when I am going.

DD was in hospital from birth until age 18 for numerous operations ( obviously came home in between)
I have never, ever had food on any ward ( local hospitals, Kings College and GOSH) nor would I have expected to
The nurses are employed to care for the children on the ward, it's absolutely brilliant that parents are now encouraged to be with their children at all times. It meets the child's emotional needs but we must remember it also saves a lot of work for the staff.
However I can remember a time, before I had my daughter, that this was not as common. What happened then was the nurses would be actually looking after each child on the ward's needs.
When I was in ( probably fifty times or so for a week or two or more at a time) I would go to the nurses station and announce I was leaving the ward, I would be fifteen minutes and to please make sure someone looked after DD. It was really quite simple. I've no idea if I got dark looks, I really wouldn't have cared. Nurses are employed, it is their paid job to care for the children and I'm saying that having been a nurse myself.
For now you need to order a Deliveroo
From now on, just leave the ward when you need to and tell a nurse how long you will be

Wards have minimum numbers. On the ward you're talking about, the staff were very likely told "no we can't give you a special" which meant they had to do the one-to-one themselves, which means while one member of staff is stuck with that one patient, all their colleagues are having to do their work as well as their own to keep things running.

Which means the patients that need feeding, have to wait until someone is free. And the patients that need to use the bedpan, have to wait until someone is free. And the patients that need their water jug refilled, have to wait until someone is free.

UPDATE So obviously having had no dinner he's a hungry baby this morning. We found a parent kitchen but its got literally nothing in it other than a giant bag of teabags.
We waited patiently for breakfast...nothing came. Had our door wide open aswell. I assumed it was coming for him so didn't nag.
Eventually I did grab a pass8ng nurse and ask when it would be coming for him and said he didn't have dinner so he's very hungry! She said it had already been???!
We've been up with lights on and door open since 7am so I really cannot fathom how we've been missed?!
I asked her to get him some breakfast and she's brought toast for him which he's wolfed down but honestly I'm astounded.
I have asked the nurse to go and check the kitchen know he's on solids and needs to.be fed.
RIP the NHS.

Too be fair they was very well staffed on that ward and worked a lot harder then many other wards iv been on. They would always stick a couple of patients who needed 1 to 1 in together so 1 hca did both and I think that's why I was also in their as I didn't need any actual care so they was only technically looking after 3 patients instead of 4. Yeah I did have to wait a while for my water jug to be filled 🙈🤣

Although you shouldn't have to and your both being treat terribly. You really do need to advocate for yourself and your child. If you need something like food for your child don't just wait for a nurse to pass, press your buzzer thats what it is there for and if you need to leave your child for 10mins don't ask, just tell them il be back in 10 minutes as your walking past the nurses station.

Glad you were fed and it’s poor form of them not to feed toddler.

I wouldn’t expect hospitals to feed carers of patients though, they should have a cafe or shop. Our hospital has an M&S Food and a cafe.

DH should have bundled the kids in the car in PJs and coats.

@Elephantinthemoon you need to ring PALS and complain. It's not good enough that your child isn't being fed, and also that you weren't given information that you had to provide your own food. Unless a complaint is made this will continue, just give them a call and they can sort it.

Why didn't you ask this morning though? I get ideally someone should come round and ask what they want for breakfast, but you can also be proactive and ask a HCA, the receptionist on the desk or a nurse when they come in to to obs.

Think of the knock on effect though. How many patients are left lying in wet beds, or buzzers gone unanswered for ages, or patients falling, because everyone else is tied up while one member of staff is sitting with a climber.

You say you didn't need any actual care, but imagine you did, and you ended up soiling yourself because there was no one to take you to the bathroom. Because the person who should have been able to take you can't leave the side of a falls risk patient because there isn't a "special" to sit with them.

Did you read my update? I did ask. If everyone ran to the desk at 8am sharp asking "wheres my breakfast" thatd be ridiculous. We waited to be brought something for a reasonable length of time, But they'd forgotten us. So I asked!!! It's still not good enough that he was forgotten and not good enough I had to chase food AGAIN.

Yes I saw your update that you asked and they brought some food- you could have asked last night or earlier this morning and he would have had food sooner. Or asked when someone was in doing obs what the plan for breakfast is as you aren't familiar with the ward.

Completely agree. What a state we're in.

I think you're confusing hospital's with restaurants.
One provides medical treatment
One provides meals

It takes a while to learn the routine of the ward and nurses aren’t always good at proactively explaining this especially when you are admitted at night. You need to ask them now how meals work and what you need to do to ensure your son gets his lunch. It’s possible that a meal cart arrives in a central area at set times and parents have to go and collect the food for their children. As you are in a side room you wouldn’t see or necessarily hear that and so could easily miss the opportunity to get food for your child if you don’t know what times they come! Been there and got that t shirt too.

hope your little one’s condition improves soon.

Are you saying patients shouldn't be fed by the NHS?