Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

I wasn’t even fed in NHS hospitals when I was the patient (they forgot) and when my baby was hospitalized just after I gave birth, I wasn’t fed at all and became extremely unwell. It’s ridiculous. I hope you manage to get some food soon!

In Glasgow I was given lunch while in outpatients with DD, and the midwife brought DH tea and biscuits when I was in labour!

At our hospital, you'd be fed if you were breastfeeding but only up to weaning. Once they're feeding the baby / child, they won't feed the mother.

Can you leave him in his cot for 5 mins to nip to the hospital shop? If he needs supervision, then don't be afraid to ask a nurse or HCA to sit with him.

Yes it was Crumlin !! The staff used to make me sob with their kindness . Really amazing people .

Ok I'll bite.

We as a ward get x amount of budget to feed x amount of children 3 x a day. This comes out of the ward budget, see also blood test tubes, bp cuffs, detergent, all the clinical things like iv sets, blood giving sets, cannulas etc.

Are you gonna pay the short fall at the end of the year because that ward fed every parent and adult sized meal and then they have to borrow money for actual clinical items?

It's shit I'm not saying it's not shit but unfortunately the ward budget doesn't stretch that far. That's before you get to the scenario where the parent of child A orders cottage pie for themselves and child A and then they get discharged so go home and then the parent of child B who's gone into that bed space complains because they don't eat cottage pie and neither does their kid so could they have nuggets or a jacket potato. So that's 4 meals that have been served because 2 were declined by parent and child B.

Who pays for this?

I worked on a cancer ward for children and we were so lucky to be able to get on demand pizza and nuggets or whatever because kids on chemo need to eat what they want when they want but then we had to say to parents it's for your child not you because it was funded by a charity and not the nhs.

I struggled so much working on that ward because in my head if you're a parent of a child with cancer then anything we can do as staff is perfect but housekeeper took pleasure in telling parents that the food and drink in the kitchen was for children and not patients.

The worst moment was when a couple were told their child had cancer and I asked the housekeeper to make a tea and a coffee whilst I liaise with the dr and answer any questions the parents had and she told me in front of the parents that the parents had to make their own drink in the parents room.

I made the drinks myself and reported her to the band 7 because it's literally her job to make drinks and make the lives of parents who have a child with cancer a tiny bit better. It really pissed me off.

I'm a specialised cancer nurse who deals with children with cancer and because of that and ordering the meal for the parents of a child dying with cancer and being disciplined for it I now work entirely in outpatients because the ward politics are just hideous

I wasn't fed in hospital when ds1 was in for day surgery, I was ebf him (he was 6 months old). We were in the hospital from 7am to 10pm.

Im a single mum now and I wouldn't expect to be fed if one of my kids was in hospital, which may well happen at some point. I doubt my ex would bring food in, my mum would be looking after my other child so I'd either call in favours from friends or go to the shops quickly.

They probably aren't expecting you to still be breastfeeding him at his age. I know it's not unheard of but in hospital terms, they will see it as well, he's 1 so it won’t be his main source of food and therefore not absolutely necessary. When my baby was in hospital I got nothing and I wasn't allowed to stay overnight, I had to leave once she was asleep for the night

We were admitted recently. Food for the parents wasn’t enough, maybe 6-800 calories a day. I genuinely don’t know how a single parent would cope unless nurses are upfront about “take 10 and grab food from the cafe”. There are very few options

Exactly this. OP don't ask the nurses station if you can go, inform them you have to leave for ten minutes. Ignore the 'shocked' faces and forget about whether it is acceptable to them. It is unacceptable to you to go without food all day. You won't sleep well while you are there and without eating, you will end up finding it harder to cope with the stress of seeing your DC sick in hospital

Unfortunately that is what I have had to do numerous times when DC has been hospitalised but I went without food initially too when I didn't know if I could or should leave the ward to get some. I learned the hard way!

In other words, they could have a parent come in with a 3yr old, say they're still breastfeeding (as if!) and expect slap up meals and room service. They're not a hotel. I wouldn't be surprised if they ask you to leave before long and come back in the morning

Just ask what arrangements there are. Honestly though, why do you expect the staff to be on top of this or for food to be provided at public expense? You are an adult. Sort it out yourself. Every hospital I've ever been in has multiple places to obtain food at all hours. Just communicate with those around you. Ask for help if you need it. You are not the patient though. Your son is.

We saw it and it doesn't change the fact that the op can leave if she chooses to, for as long as she wants and as often as she wants to.
She can even leave to go home overnight to go to sleep if she chooses to.
Shocker hey.

I’ve been a single mum the whole of my daughters life (6 years) and had no close family or friends nearby until I built a network. She was prem and we ended up in a&e quite a few times, I always took a huge bag of food and snacks and water for me and her just because I hate having to ask for things especially when I know they’ll be busy you know, saving lives. That said, im shocked they wouldn’t watch your son so you could go and find a vending machine as he’s an inpatient. Surely that’s part of their job?

Most trusts have a policy that breast feeding mums should be fed. The trouble is that many forget to ask if your child is still being breastfed once they are past the maternity ward stage.

When DS2 had bronchiolitis at 8 weeks and was in hospital for 5 days, I didn't get fed. My lovely MIL came to the rescue. She brought me a cooler bag every morning with sandwiches, a flask of vegetable soup, homemade cheese scone and piece of quiche, a salad, a carton of milk, porridge sachet, crisps, homemade cake, biscuits and fruit. DH brought me clean clothes, a magazine, chocolate and hugs every evening but had to go home to sort out the other two DC - who MIL sat with while he was at the hospital.

I told MIL I had given some to another mum who was by herself and she brought her the same in from then on.

I was better looked after than I was at home.

@LuluBlakey1 oh my gosh I think you won the MIL lottery!

I've been stuck (and hungry!!) in the RCH more than once. My friend reported the same.

Not allowed to leave the ward with the baby, and nurses wouldn't watch the her so no way to access food or drink unless I had it in my bag.

Sometimes it's so busy, that we just. Bay sit for 10-15 minutes. Especially if there are only two staff on. It's not that we don't want to at all. We just can't. Tonight we can, we are well staffed and everyone is ok. But it's not always like this.

*just can't.

It’s awful that your baby hasn’t even been fed. In an ideal world, parents would be fed too but they’re not, in my experience. Your baby definitely should be though. I wasn’t even fed as the patient when I was in hospital a couple of months ago for my second hip replacement- after my first one they were constantly offering me food and trying to tempt me to eat, but I wasn’t given anything after my second one! I’d not been allowed to eat from 6am, I got out of surgery at 6pm so had missed dinner - but I missed it the first time too and they kept bringing food! It was a different ward the 2nd time. They didn’t even give me pain relief, let alone food (not kidding. It was horrible!)

Not sure when you were last there. My DC has been admitted frequently in the last couple of years unfortunately and I have never been offered breakfast or dinner.

Well thank goodness for the student nurse who had the good sense and kindness to find you a sandwich. Unfortunately once she becomes qualified it's highly likely that her common sense and kindness will be knocked out of her.

I saw it happen to a sister of mine, once she got her paid-for degree on full salary it was like she got a personality transplant, incapable of caring or being kind unless her job title included it and she was paid; never mind the power-tripping and other wierd behaviour.

Who in reality could stand by and tell a mother caring for and breastfeeding a sick child that they can't be given any food and nor could they leave their sick child to find some food.

Your MIL is fab!

The ward I was on with my 1 year old at the time fed breastfeeding mothers. So I got a meal. There should also be someone to make you a drink. I would insist if they cant look after your baby for 10 mins for you to run and get something that you get fed as this is what you need to be able to look after your little one. You need all the energy you can get. We used to get pizzas delivered when I worked in a hospital. Just ask them and don’t be shy.
what hospital are you in- you can look up there policies online? Also if you are unhappy how you are looked after please contact PALS. If they have said you can’t leave they need to give you food!

In other words, they could have a parent come in with a 3yr old, say they're still breastfeeding (as if!) and expect slap up meals and room service. They're not a hotel.

The macaroni cheese and chips I was given was hardly a slap up meal (though it was very appreciated after a stressful surgery and an unexpected extended hospital stay with a very distressed child with complex needs). It’s a bad day when basic humanity (ensuring parents can eat while caring for a hospitalised child) is considered the height of luxury.