Aren't hospital supposed to feed me??

[Elephantinthemoon]

Came to A&E this morning with my 1 year old, got here for 10am. He's very poorly and we were quickly told we'd be in overnight. I expected this so I'd brought an overnight bag but only a few snacks for baby, and his water bottle nothing for myself and no meals. I'm on my own so couldn't carry a lot and based on previous experience thought I'd be fed in the hospital because I'm breastfeeding?

I am on my own, and have no one who can bring me food or anything.

We spent 7 hrs in a&e waiting to be taken to the ward. Absolute nightmare and he got through his snacks very fast (crisps, cheese, Ella bar) but I was hopeful we'd be taken to the ward "soon".

At 4pm I finally got a bit fed up and asked the nurse if he could be given something to eat. Other than his snacks he'd not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am. He'd skipped lunch because we were stuck in a & e.

Tbh the nurse seemed really shocked I was asking like I'd not brought him anything? But thing is i just hadn't expected to.be waiting so long! I thought we'd be put on a ward and he'd be fed there. Anyway she did manage to "find" him a sandwich but I wasn't offered anything.

At 6pm we were finally transferred to a room on a ward but it didn't even have water in it. I have now asked for water.

I'm breastfeeding and when we were last in hospital overnight (at christmas) I'd been fed once on the ward because of this. So this was my expectation again. However no one has mentioned this this time (they have seen me breastfeeding him) and I've felt too awkward to ask because he's really unwell and I feel like either sounds selfish for me to just want to know if I can have food for myself!! Plus he's 20 months so not exactly a newborn so I'm not sure I still should be fed 🤔

So basically...I've not eaten since 9am this morning. I can't go to the cafe or shop in the hospital because I can't leave my 1 year old on his own. He's not in a fit state to come with me.

I'd of thought there'd atleast be a vending machine?! But I've checked and nothing.

How do single mums do this? Not everyone has relatives who are willing to bring food in!! And for the record I can't believe they don't feed ALL mums who have a poorly baby in hospital. Breastfeeding or not. It's honestly hard enough having a sick baby without also going without food until god knows when.

Thankfully my partner will be able to visit tomorrow but not until lunch time so I'm in for a very long time running on water only.

No, they don't feed parents.
The patient is the child.
Do you have anyone who could drop off food for you at hospital reception? And some squash to help keep up fluid intake?

Not in Glasgow!! Never been fed when by BF baby was admitted as a patient (happened more than once).

My Mum got sandwiches when I did after we'd been in A&E for 8 hours waiting for a bed in a ward for me. Wonder if Scottish policy is different or maybe we were at the same hospital 😊

Glad to hear you got something to eat. They can't stop you going out to vending machine/ shop/hospital cafe once your little one is asleep - are they in one of those high sided cots? Just be quick and say you were in the toilet or taking a phonecall. I hope your little one is ok.

I’ve been in this situation before. Just ask nursing staff to watch your child whilst you go to he cafe/shop in the hospital to pick something up to bring back to the ward. Child should obviously be fed by the hospital but people with the patient should just go pick up their own stuff from the on-site cafes/shops.

OP, Is there a reason you haven't got anyone local who could have helped you? I think most people would be happy to have helped even as casual friend.

I've never been fed when my child is in hospital. I just nip down to the restaurant when DC is sleeping or let a nurse know I will be gone for ten minutes. I buy food and bring it back and eat it with my DC. I also stock up on juices/bars/fruit in the hospital restaurant and shop so I have food in the room. My DC isn't a big fan of the food offered so its good to have a supply.

The only exception was when I was offered a meal on Christmas Day.

No, you won't be able to leave him I'm afriad as we don't have any staff available to look after him while you go out! " wich made me feel like shit for suggesting it

Did other posters miss this bit or just not want to see it.

@Elephantinthemoon It seems that you've missed both lunch and dinner round on the wards.

But these are for the child. As parent of a child in hospital for several nights, no I was not fed by them. There was a kitchen and I had to grab my own food from the hospital canteen or a shop outside, and use the fridge/microwave. When I was very lucky there was a toaster, bread and jam for parents as well as children, but I think that's quite rare. I did have toast for dinner more than once. A marker pen to mark milk/food in the fridge was useful too.

Ask them what you can do about dinner - there must be an option. They will probably offer to watch your child when they sleep

Do people's nearby hospitals have all night shops? Ours doesn't.

I remember being admitted early hours once with hemorrhaging and was very surprised to be offered a cup of tea and sandwich, I felt grateful but wasn't expecting that at that time. The rest of the ward were sound asleep.

Not in Glasgow!! Never been fed when by BF baby was admitted as a patient (happened more than once).

I was fed in the RHC in Glasgow and my child is far from being a baby.

I find this honestly shocking. How can you possibly function in what is likely a pretty stressful time for you and your child if you haven’t eaten properly? Where I am in Europe there have always been meals for the accompanying parent as well as the child. On one occasion it was a stressful 7 day stay for DC and me. I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been without easy access to food and drink.

You sound lovely.

OP, you can ring up a food delivery place and get food at the entrance. Do it while he's asleep.

They SHOULD be feeding your unwell baby though! Bit crazy they haven't fed him.

So interesting that everyone seems to think I'd be able to pop out...definatly doesn't seem to be considered acceptable here. 🤔 wish it was!!

You can pop out, they just won't like it (sad faces, expressing shock that you would neglect your child to satiate your greed) but the reality is they don't care if you haven't eaten for 24 hours, so you have to say "I am going to get food because I need to eat." And ignore the faces.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.
Have you got anyone local to the hospital who could bring in food( I realise your DP has the other DC)
I guess the staff are very busy, but to say they won't watch him is hard
You can order pizza straight to the ward( I've done it)
I hope you and DC are home soon

This is going back about 16 years,but when my DGD was admitted to hospital at the age of 3 months,my DD was given food because it was hospital policy to feed the mum if she was breastfeeding the baby. No idea if this is common practice in all hospitals or even whether it still applies.

Even if I thought I was going to be fed in hospital, I’d take food - hospital food is disgusting and what if it was something you didn’t like or you wanted a snack? If I knew I was going to a hospital I’d take at least some crisps or fruit. Last time my child was in hospital, even they wouldn’t eat the sorry excuse for fish fingers!

As PP said. I’d rather funds went on NHS not feeding parents.

This thread is depressing. I’m an adult and due to a medical condition I’m in and out of hospital on occasions. Must be my trust because whenever I’m in even if it’s overnight then whoever is with me gets fed. Normally it’s my mum, dad or partner. Wouldn’t dream of bringing food in.

Are you ok?

I had my baby, went home, within 2 hours my baby had had a fit and went bank to icu. It was 2 am and I hadn’t had anything to eat since I went into Labour 48 hours before. The only place I could get food was a vending machine. 2 mars bars and a packet of crisps. Yes I was breastfeeding.

She can leave him to run down to the shop in the same way that she can leave him to go to the loo! They're saying she can't go off for dinner somewhere, not that she can't run to buy something and come straight back.

I can’t speak from the perspective of a parent as my son isn’t born yet but I can as a patient myself..

I was practically raised on rainbow ward in our local hospital as a pre teen/teen and this was way before the NHS was in the situation it is in now (I’m speaking like 20 years ago) and I remember There were some kids that never had parents even show up let alone leaving them. Nurses would sometimes be able to nip to the canteen for a parent on their own breaks if they couldn’t leave their children and other times parents took themselves to the canteen when the LO was asleep..

I would watch the policy change day to day as one minute the person that brings round the tea/coffee and biscuits would only offer patients and the next they will offer your visitor.. was very confusing.

when I transferred to adult ward it was the same thing.. They would pick and choose if they could feed visitors or people staying with you and I think that was mainly based on left overs. I know a few times I would order food for lunch or dinner only to be discharged and never get to eat it and it would go to the next person that would be put in my bed since they would have missed the ability to choose what to eat (I have also be on that side too where I missed choosing what I wanted but the previous patient didn’t get their food as they were discharged so I’d take that).

I have also worked for delivery services and have delivered to wards before where the patient would be waiting at the ward door sometimes still needing to pay for the food before I could hand it over.. of course I couldn’t come into the ward but providing the hospital entrance wasn’t closed I could make it to the outside corridor to deliver.

unfortunately when I was a child I remember not many parent were caught off guard and seemed to not give their kids hospital food so would bring home cooked food to the hospital for themselves and the child.. funny because some hospitals had a policy on no home cooked food (I’m guessing a bacteria issue and nowhere to store it in refrigerator if needed? Not sure)

If I was to use a hospital in this current situation however I don’t think I would rely on the hospital feeding me as a patient let alone a parent and would likely be packing some instant noodles by the very least on top of those snacks that go easy because there is always a kettle on the ward! Especially if my partner isn’t able to bring me in food (last stay she had to bring me in KFC as they refused to feed me 🤦🏽‍♀️).

glad your fed now but you should make a food plan for the possible next time you end up in hospital so this doesn’t happen again.. like how people are pre packing hospital bags as they don’t know how long they will spend in A&E nowadays. I will be doing the same when I give birth in July just incase (I was also told to bring food/snacks by my midwife making me feel like I won’t get food when the time comes)

Our main hospital shop is only open during the day. There's no vending machine anywhere but the ground floor. When I had my baby I hadn't eaten he was born at 7pm. I was famished. Luckily around 3am I had a walk around the nurse offered me some toast.

Our little cottage hospital have tea and toast on tap which is lovely