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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH is being a right dick

131 replies

Quinniebellie · 27/03/2023 17:59

DH went out Friday evening, got in about 1am I think. We went to an event yesterday with our 4DC, he then went to the pub after to watch the football and came home around midnight.

So he’s obviously hungover x2, so today he’s spent the whole day on the sofa/in bed asleep. He got up this morning as we had an event at DD’s school at 10am. I thought “great he’s getting up to help get them ready before school” but no, he got up and got straight in the bath which is where he was for the next 40 minutes.

I got them ready, did the school run, came back and bathed the youngest DC’s, got them ready, we went to the event which was 30 mins then came home.

He got straight on the sofa and went to sleep. Meanwhile I took the youngest DC’s with me to go do a work errand and go to the shops etc, was gone for 2.5 hours. Came back and he’s still asleep on the sofa

then he gets up and again I think “great he’s finally getting up” but nope he went straight up to bed. Asleep again until I got back from the school run at 4pm.

I then got DD ready for dance class, took her, came back, made dinner for the other DC’s, meanwhile he’s having ANOTHER BATH! I could have screamed when I heard that bath running again!! Now I’m picking up DD, dropping her friend home, popping to another shop and will no doubt have to do the whole bedtime routine with them all while he does a big FA.

I know he’s hungover but Jesus is this normal? He does this every time he goes out for a drink or every time he has a day off. He says he’s entitled to chill time which yes he is but I feel like I’m running around like a headless chicken while he’s doing nothing. I don’t get chill time like that, and when I do ever get chance to chill I feel so guilty about it! He just doesn’t seem to care and thinks this is normal/acceptable. Is it?

His reasoning today is that he had a quick tidy up this morning while I was on school run and he’s wiped over the bathroom. So he “hasn’t done nothing”

YABU - he’s hungover leave him be
YANBU - he’s being a dick

OP posts:
StylishM · 27/03/2023 18:01

YANBU. Do you get the same options when you go out/have a hangover? He sounds selfish and self indulgent

FfeminyddCymraeg · 27/03/2023 18:02

Fucking hell. I genuinely felt angry reading that. YADNBU.

I couldn’t look at a man that was that pathetic that he had to spend a full day in bed because of a hangover. I mean, really?

Stop facilitating this bullshit, OP. A couple of ibuprofen and some breakfast and he would have been fine.

TomatoFrog · 27/03/2023 18:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CraneBoysMysteries · 27/03/2023 18:04

YANBU but you're doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of talking if I read this correctly? I would have said something in the morning

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/03/2023 18:04

He does this every time he goes out for a drink or every time he has a day off

This is the actual problem. Why stay? Why make more babies? You deserve better and so do your kids.

You are doing it all anyways.

FictionalCharacter · 27/03/2023 18:04

Why does he need 2 baths in one day?!

ExtraOnions · 27/03/2023 18:04

Stop enabling his behaviour.

Jmaho · 27/03/2023 18:05

I don't know how you manage to stay so calm
I'd literally want to throttle him the utterly selfish immature wanker

FfeminyddCymraeg · 27/03/2023 18:05

Also, am I the only one who gets the ick thinking of a man lying in the bath with his floating Rodger being all useless whilst his wife runs around like a blue arsed fly.

I should say I generally find men having long, leisurely soaks quite repugnant at the best of times 🙈

Newusernameaug · 27/03/2023 18:06

He’s being a selfish dick

FfeminyddCymraeg · 27/03/2023 18:06

*todger - should have just said dick 😁

StrawberryWater · 27/03/2023 18:07

He’s a selfish asshole.

Is this a one off or a regular occurrence?

Whatifitallgoesright · 27/03/2023 18:08

So what happens when you go off for the day with mates or just out for a walk by yourself. Does he step up and sort all the kids out?

Justforlaffs · 27/03/2023 18:08

FfeminyddCymraeg · 27/03/2023 18:05

Also, am I the only one who gets the ick thinking of a man lying in the bath with his floating Rodger being all useless whilst his wife runs around like a blue arsed fly.

I should say I generally find men having long, leisurely soaks quite repugnant at the best of times 🙈

🤣🤣🤣me too!

SeasonFinale · 27/03/2023 18:09

I am going option 3 which is YABU for mot forcing him to step up to the plate.

You could have and should have left DC with him when you went to do the chores and forced him to get up to care for then.

Bananalanacake · 27/03/2023 18:10

Hope he pays the water bills.

DojaPhat · 27/03/2023 18:11

He does this every time he goes out for a drink or every time he has a day off.

How often does this happen? And does he otherwise do his fair share given you have 4 children so any 'down time' is unlikely even on the good days.

BakedTattie · 27/03/2023 18:11

Why are you thinking these things and not actually speaking out? Like “get the fuck up and help”

coconutpie · 27/03/2023 18:11

YANBU and I would not put up with this. How have you not given him a piece of your mind yet? Why are you silently fuming over this? You are also enabling this behaviour. He does it because he is a dick and also he gets away with it so he has no reason to change.

GoodChat · 27/03/2023 18:12

He's a lazy, selfish dick but it sounds like you're being a bit of a martyr here too.

Wake him up. Tell him you're going to the shop/going to do the school run and the little ones are staying with him.

Sleepinatent · 27/03/2023 18:12

Solidarity OP. Mine regularly drinks Friday night. Has a lie in Saturday. Drinks Saturday afternoon/evening then sleeps ALL day Sunday in bed/on the sofa. Makes my blood boil. We both work full time.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 27/03/2023 18:12

What is the point of him, though?

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 27/03/2023 18:13

Honestly, part of being a good parent is being available and active to participate in family life and do his part of the chores.

Part of being a responsible parent involves not getting drunk or hangover so you can still care for your family. He can still have fun with his mates without choosing to get himself so drunk he is able to do his part.

YANBU, if this is a one off. YABU if this happens regularly and you are still there.

FfeminyddCymraeg · 27/03/2023 18:14

Justforlaffs · 27/03/2023 18:08

🤣🤣🤣me too!

Show quote history

Glad it’s not just me! 😂

VooVooV · 27/03/2023 18:15

Sleepinatent · 27/03/2023 18:12

Solidarity OP. Mine regularly drinks Friday night. Has a lie in Saturday. Drinks Saturday afternoon/evening then sleeps ALL day Sunday in bed/on the sofa. Makes my blood boil. We both work full time.

Why on earth would you put up with this shit?
And you too Op.
Utter wastes of space. The pair of them.

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