To wonder how I approach my neighbour about her nude son

[Meanswell]

So i feel quite awkward in posting this but i am wondering the best approach as I don’t want to upset anyone but i need to protect my child.

A neighbour who lives near me has a teenage son with non verbal autism. He sometimes like to stand outside the front of the houses. Today my daughter was taking the dog out for a walk. He was outside naked with everything on display. My daughter stood in one spot and he kind of ran towards her. She came straight back in and locked the doo. I genuinely don’t think he meant anything by it but he was left alone for a couple of minutes.

I genuinely don’t want to upset his mum and I know he doesn’t understand why he cannot do that. My daughter feels quite shocked and said she will never go out the front again. I am now worried if he acts inappropriately again, how do I approach this situation gently.

I'd just talk to your daughter and explain. Simple.

Your neighbour is probably completely mortified and doing the best she can. There was nothing malicious or pervy. Your daughter needs to understand there are people in this life who need some tolerance and understanding

She already knows I'm sure and I'm sure it was just an oversight on her part.

I'm sure she is doing her best.

(I used to live near a young man who sounds similar. He went through a phase of wanting to be naked but it stopped after a while. I assume his parents and school worked on it with him).

yes really. His mum is very overprotective of him and i dont think she knew anyone saw him. Its also a matter of safety for him also .

I have told my daughter, she kind of understands but she is early teens and I think she is shocked still

I think you're being way more understanding than I would be if that had happened to my daughter. Or me tbh.

How old is your child?
Is she a teenager and being overly dramatic? Does she know and understand his issues?
Has he done this before?

I appreciate that, at any age, your daughter would have been freaked out by this. But, I haven't voted because I am curious as to how you answer the above.

Protect your child from what?

How does she get on with the boy when he is clothed? Would she normally talk to him? If so then nothing bad has happened. I'm sure his parents are trying hard to look after him and as you say he was left alone for a short time.

Teach your daughter to treat him with compassion. Of course she can come back in if she's uncomfortable. But no need to be scared of him.

Do you think she’s unaware of the situation and needs it brought to her attention? Do you think she’s not already doing all she can to keep him, and others, safe and comfortable? Do you think your input will positively and significantly change their day to day lives?
I get that this was somewhat distressing for your daughter but what could you possibly raise with this boys mother that would help the situation?!

I'd go ape shit personally.

she is a teenager, she is younger than him. I dont think she’s being dramatic, even though he doesnt mean it maliciously i think to be confronted with stranger naked running towards you you can be shocked.

Oh fuck off, no girls don’t need to be educated that they must be kind and accept that some men will flash them and chase them while naked.

OP text the boy’s mother if you have her number, or speak to her if you don’t. Keep it very calm and fact based. “Hi. My daughter is currently scared to leave the house because your son keeps standing out the front completely naked and recently chased her home, naked. I know the situation is very difficult. My daughter has a right to leave the house without being chased by naked men. What can you do to prevent this happening again?”

I think you're right OP, to safeguard your DD and to safeguard your neighbours son. If it were me I would definitely speak to her about your concerns.

Yes she needs to know, she may need amendments to his care, or support package or safeguarding of him and others

Im amazed at some of the responses on here

How old is he?

Has it happened before? That he has been naked outside?

Its not that i dont think his mum knows but again i dont think its fair my daughter should be worried this will happen again.

I understand it must not be easy and they are trying their best however if you know it’s a risk try to mitigate it? I obviously don’t know the ins and outs of how hard it is to parent a child with autism but my first concern is my child

I have to disagree with people saying it’s not a big deal. It is. The mum should absolutely be told and she should be expected to stop her son from behaving in this way. It’s not an excuse to say he’s autistic and “doesn’t understand” as that wouldn’t be accepted as an excuse if he didn’t understand the law and stole things from shops.
No, teenage girls should
not have to just accept being accosted by naked boys or men outside their own door, no way. No she is NOT being “overly dramatic” about a naked teenaged boy running towards her. What a ridiculous thing to say.
@Meanswell Definitely raise it with the mum and if she doesn’t address it she is failing to keep her son and your daughter safe and I’d take it further- like social work or the (non emergency) police.

if he’s non-verbal and a teenager he clearly won’t understand. Just ask your daughter to come and get you and then ring your neighbours doorbell and take him back inside.

She does understand autism however this isnt behaviour we have seen before. He is 16.

Also no we all dont walk around naked, however i’m her mother. She would not be concerned or scared if she saw me naked just probably a bit grossed out. This is unfair to say she is being dramatic. She is a young child.

I would politely contact the mother. If it happens again, the police.

Yes, it’s hard to have a child with additional needs but it is not acceptable.

Very shocked that some of the responses on here are basically saying explain to your daughter why it happened, and leave it.

It is sad for the woman and her son but nobody should be chased by a naked person in public, at all, ever.

I would be notifying her and probably also logging with local police tbh.

So a teenage male can be naked in public and everyone just needs to ignore it because it may upset the mum? There's ways to handle it sensitivity but just allowing it to happen is not okay.

If he was an 80 year old man with Alzheimer’s would people brush this away?

I can see your concerns, OP.