Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Right… I’ve had enough…

134 replies

Quietlyquitting · 26/03/2023 13:46

… of telling my OH to manage his laundry. I don’t mind doing his laundry, but I just want him to use some common sense.

is it dirty: put it in the laundry basket,

is it in between: fold it and put it on the dresser and wear it again next day rather than KEEP GETTING CLEAN CLOTHES OUT

do not: leave various garments lying around the bedroom with no FUCKING indication of what stage they are at! I should not have to sniff test his clothes!

I genuinely feel like a broken record. It’s not difficult. The other week there were two T-shirts some pj pants and two pairs of jeans that I folded neatly on the dresser to wear again. He was notified again of the “please just help me with this”

Today - again - He’s been through three changes of clothes and I’ve come upstairs to find the bed covered in clothes - so I’ve quit. I’ve dumped them all the dresser and I’ve decided I don’t care. I’m making no effort to sort/wash them so…AIBU?

yanbu: he’s being a muppet. He can sort his own shite out now

yabu: he’s a bloke - they can be a bit simple

if anyone would like to quietly quit with me feel free to add what your quietly quitting on

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 26/03/2023 13:47

Yanbu, but why are you dating a teenager or an incompetent man? Wasting your time here

Mumsnutt · 26/03/2023 13:49

YABU to have tolerated this crap up to now.

He's treating you with contempt. Tell him to do his own fucking laundry.

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 13:49

put a basket in the bedroom and just put everything there to tidy the room

if he wants things washed he can put them in the laundry

if he doesn’t want all his clothes put in the same basket he can sort them before you have to make the room livable by dumping everything into the basket

xPaz · 26/03/2023 13:50

I'm honestly trying to get this message across to my 16 year old son. Everything goes on the floor so I've no idea if it's crying out for a wash or if it's been worn once.

I would cease washing altogether for a grown man who cannot keep his dirty clothes in one pile and clean clothes up off the floor.

You are right, it's not hard.

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 13:50

Blokes aren’t simple
they bult all the cities and run all the governments

they just get away with what they can

I’ll never live with a man again

Aquamarine1029 · 26/03/2023 13:52

Do you think he's the best you can get? You can do a lot better. Refuse to live like this, op. You're not his fucking mum.

Notimeforaname · 26/03/2023 13:52

Yeah you're not his mother. Leave him to manage his own clothes

Original poster

Quietlyquitting · 26/03/2023 13:52

Shoxfordian · 26/03/2023 13:47

Yanbu, but why are you dating a teenager or an incompetent man? Wasting your time here

middle aged and very competent - but this just is something he can’t/Won’t get his head round.

which is why I’ve quietly quit. Let’s see if he gets the message now

OP posts:

Freddiefox · 26/03/2023 13:53

Are you his mum? The whole thing sounds very infantile.
just leave him too it. Push all his stuff to one side and get on with your life.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/03/2023 13:54

put a basket in the bedroom and just put everything there to tidy the room
if he wants things washed he can put them in the laundry

point 1 - yes
point 2 - if he wants things washed he knows where the washing machine is.

TomatoSandwiches · 26/03/2023 13:55

Just stop doing any of his laundry, he isn't fixing the problem because it's not his problem yet, he can do the whole thing himself.
What will you do with the time you save never doing his laundry again?

StripeyDeckchair · 26/03/2023 14:07

We have 3 laundry bins, clearly marked, you put your laundry in them or it doesn't get washed.

My 9yo can do this so I'm pretty sure your partner can.
All of my kids are responsible for changing their towels & bed linen each week and washing & drying the dirty linen. Everyone who lives in the house should contribute towards running it & as parents it is our responsibility to ensure that our children will be able to look after themselves when they leave home.

Deliberate incompetence like this is sexist, selfish and arrogant I would not put up with it. This sort of behaviour sets a terrible example for your children too.

Fluffodils · 26/03/2023 14:09

Why were you ever in the position of having to sniff his clothes in the first place. Was he not embarrassed you were doing this? Were you not like wtaf am I doing?

Lcb123 · 26/03/2023 14:09

I am happy to wash whatever is in the basket. Beside that I pay zero attention to DH clothes and how he manages them?

usedtobeasizeten · 26/03/2023 14:10

Put a match to them….

SnarkyBag · 26/03/2023 14:14

Not in the basket? Doesn’t get washed.

NaturalBae · 26/03/2023 14:14

Sounds like weaponised incompetence.

I’ve never sniffed tested any of DH’s clothes.

I do not pick up or wash any of the DC’s or DH’s clothing, unless it has miraculously found it’s way into the laundry basket.

verdantverdure · 26/03/2023 14:19

We have hooks on the outside of the wardrobes and on the back of the bedroom doors for this.

The children put their clothes back on hangers when they take them off ready to wear again, and hang them on the hooks.

Dirty clothes go in the bathroom hampers, (Sorted by colour: Whites, Darks, Colours.)

Only freshly washed and dry clothes go in the wardrobe.

And we don't generally get a clean t shirt, jeans and hoodie ensemble out of the wardrobe if we already have a worn one hanging up on the back of the door.

Mine have been doing this unaided since they were 9 or 10 probably.

canfor · 26/03/2023 14:22

Yep, just adopt an air of incompetence yourself 'oh I wasn't really sure of what needed washed'. If clothes are lying around either leave them there, or if really annoying you, jump dump them on the floor or a nearby surface. Stop doing his laundry, he does not respect or value it, therefore, let him do it himself.

butterfliedtwo · 26/03/2023 14:24

The point you are sniffing a grown man's clothes to find out whether they need to be washed is the point you reevaluate the relationship. He is obviously taking the piss out of you.

itsgettingweird · 26/03/2023 14:25

Yanbu I'm not wanting to do his washing.

Yabu in dictating to him like he's a child what to do with clothes at certain stages of wear and how to organise his laundry.

Just do your own 🤷‍♀️

Inertia · 26/03/2023 14:28

He’ll eventually run out of clothes.

The floordrobe is annoying. If my DH does this I tidy all the clothes into the bag/ case he’s also invariably left out, and he can sort it from there.

If it isn’t in the basket it doesn’t get washed, and there’s no jumping into the cycle with random last minute requests either.

Burnamer · 26/03/2023 14:31

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 13:50

Blokes aren’t simple
they bult all the cities and run all the governments

they just get away with what they can

I’ll never live with a man again

This. Again and again and again.
Men are not simple or incompetent at housework in the same way that women are not unable to do science!

Some seek to get away with what they can.

PartnersInCrime · 26/03/2023 14:34

Yeah... no! My children have been able to sort their own clothes for washing since starting primary, so I full well expect my DH to be able to too.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/03/2023 14:39

Pile it all up and tell him to do his own washing
You're not his Mum or his maid
Don't say another word to him about it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread