Right… I’ve had enough…

[Quietlyquitting]

… of telling my OH to manage his laundry. I don’t mind doing his laundry, but I just want him to use some common sense.

is it dirty: put it in the laundry basket,

is it in between: fold it and put it on the dresser and wear it again next day rather than KEEP GETTING CLEAN CLOTHES OUT

do not: leave various garments lying around the bedroom with no FUCKING indication of what stage they are at! I should not have to sniff test his clothes!

I genuinely feel like a broken record. It’s not difficult. The other week there were two T-shirts some pj pants and two pairs of jeans that I folded neatly on the dresser to wear again. He was notified again of the “please just help me with this”

Today - again - He’s been through three changes of clothes and I’ve come upstairs to find the bed covered in clothes - so I’ve quit. I’ve dumped them all the dresser and I’ve decided I don’t care. I’m making no effort to sort/wash them so…AIBU?

yanbu: he’s being a muppet. He can sort his own shite out now

yabu: he’s a bloke - they can be a bit simple

if anyone would like to quietly quit with me feel free to add what your quietly quitting on

It still probably won't register with him.

Absolutely this ^^.

why were you ever sniffing his clothes OP?! That’s bonkers.

If it’s in the laundry basket, it gets washed. And if it’s not, it doesn’t.

If he runs out of clean clothes that’s his own fault 🤷‍♀️

yanbu…my DD is similar (she’s 18 so perfectly capable of managing her own clothing).

Tbf she does have floordrobe (clean) and floordrobe (dirty) areas but she’s a bigger for dropping clothes all over the place, especially socks, undies and gym wear.

I now assume that anything not in her bedroom is for the wash and if it’s therefore wet when she intended to wear it again, tough shit.

Mine does all our washing. It is really simple, there are even instructions on the front of the machine.

Absolutely.

Simple really.

Kids stuff.

Does he actually expect you to sort through his clothes Op or is it a habit that you have got into?

If he genuinely expects you to look through stuff that he just leaves where he wants to he doesn't think much of you does he?

My do does all the washing and drying. Anything not in the basket does not get washed.

My DH insists on doing his own washing so we have more loads and they aren't full. Drives me mad, he can do mine or I can do his but I don't want twice as many loads as it is expensive and bad for the environment. I suppose we could buy more clothes so we don't do a wash as often but I really don't want the washing to pile up so that we each have a light/dark/delicates load to do.

I'm buggered if I'd be sniffing another adult's clothes to see if they're clean.

That's foul.

DH and I both have a floordrobe, we are well matched. Neither of us interferes with the others clothes. Works fine for us

We do not have washing basket, dirty clothes are folded and put into the washing machine. OH and I take turns to do laundry. I don't go into DC rooms, I suspect DS has a floordrobe.

The energy bills have made us rethink laundry. I would wash clothes after wearing them for 8 hours. We all wear outfits more now. I'm probably messier than my OH at putting them clothes away. I've bought more hangers so I can hang outfits together in the wardrobe.

I just leave them. If they're in a pile on the floor and he can't find clean clothes when he wants them then it's his problem. He doesn't learn and doesn't care about the piles of clothes in various places upstairs. But at least I don't care about them too now.

WHY IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU ACTING AS A MAID FOR A GROWN MAN? GET SOME SELF RESPECT.

Please.

I'm embarrased for you that you actually asked the excuse making question in your AIBU poll 'he's a bloke they can be a bit simple.' You are a doormat I'm afraid. Please dump this man. He's lazy and not kind to you.

And judging from that pile of clothes slovenly, sloppy and lacking in any fashion sense.

Mines a bit like this. But if it isn't in the basket it isn't getting washed unless he does it himself 🤷‍♀️.
He also throws babys clothes on the floor next to his basket at bedtime and "forgets" to put them in the basket. I wash babys clothes regardless of where they are.

DP generates the most laundry in this house – an average outfit is two T-shirts, a shirt and a cardigan and he’ll never rewear anything, even the outer layers of this ridiculous lasagne – thus he does the laundry. My only involvement is when his clean stuff piles up and he tips it everywhere to find some pants but never actually puts it away, at which point I shove it all in the bottom of his wardrobe – it’s still a pile for him to rummage through, but I don’t have to look at it.

DH does all his own laundry. Always has done. Leave it. He’ll sort it out or he won’t.

YANBU

Men only act like this because they can get away with it because they know that someone else will do it for them.

I can guarantee if they lived alone or was trying to impress a woman they would work it out.

I’ve always said I will never be a replacement mummy for a man.

Its time you both take in turns to do the laundry.
Maybe if he actually had to do it he would be more respectful.

YABU for ever getting into this situation.

The only rule any house needs for adults and older children is: if it is in the basket, it'll get washed.

I have this problem with my 18 year old, but it's in his bedroom at least. My OH does all his own laundry and always has, I never have anything to do with it. He even has his own laundry basket. So I consider myself fortunate!

He's perfectly capable, as are all human adults - he just has a convenient maid to do it.

Well stop doing his laundry OP

Surely that's common sense?

Yes, we’re all like that 🙄
If a man generalised like that he’d be hung drawn and quartered - you just sound bitter and sad.

This is what one of my 14 year olds is like.

He's been told time and time again I won't be sniffing his clothes or picking up after him - he either brings his clothes down to be washed when I ask or he does it himself. He doesn't do either so just moans he has no clothes - to which I shrug and tell him he has plenty.

I wouldn't put up with this from an adult. If it's not in the basket (or adjacent if it's overflowing!) then tough luck. Sort it yourself.

Throw in an 'old and ugly' and you've hit the jackpot!

Maybe you clean your own clothes away but you're a stereotype in other areas.

I would give him one last chance. Very last chance. Similar to the woman who put the note on the dresser saying if you took any more clean clothes out rather than using the ones that were already out, I will kill you....except perhaps a little less extreme than that.

Tell him that you're fed up trying to work out what is clean (just back from being washed), what is clean but worn, and what is worn and dirty/sweaty. So going forwards, if he wants the current system to remain, he must pull his finger out and stop being such a dick about his laundry. If it's clean it gets put away, straightaway. If it's clean but worn, it gets folded and put on a chair or could be hung up outside the wardrobe, if it's dirty/sweaty, he puts it in the laundry basket with everyone else's dirty clothes.
If it happens again, you'll simply stop doing his clothes, even his underwear. Then mean it.

Me and DP both have a floordrobe. He's upstairs right now tidying it up😳there are exceptions to every rule

If you are fed up then stop doing it. Put it all in a laundry basket or bin liners or what ever you can keep it out of the way in and leave it. He'll have to sort it himself eventually