Right… I’ve had enough…

[Quietlyquitting]

… of telling my OH to manage his laundry. I don’t mind doing his laundry, but I just want him to use some common sense.

is it dirty: put it in the laundry basket,

is it in between: fold it and put it on the dresser and wear it again next day rather than KEEP GETTING CLEAN CLOTHES OUT

do not: leave various garments lying around the bedroom with no FUCKING indication of what stage they are at! I should not have to sniff test his clothes!

I genuinely feel like a broken record. It’s not difficult. The other week there were two T-shirts some pj pants and two pairs of jeans that I folded neatly on the dresser to wear again. He was notified again of the “please just help me with this”

Today - again - He’s been through three changes of clothes and I’ve come upstairs to find the bed covered in clothes - so I’ve quit. I’ve dumped them all the dresser and I’ve decided I don’t care. I’m making no effort to sort/wash them so…AIBU?

yanbu: he’s being a muppet. He can sort his own shite out now

yabu: he’s a bloke - they can be a bit simple

if anyone would like to quietly quit with me feel free to add what your quietly quitting on

it's just a joke, it's when you have loads of clothes on the floor, basically you've died your whole wardrobe on the floor and now have a 'floordrobe'

Yeah who is making you sniff the clothes

If it's not in the basket, don't wash it.

And if he's not pulling his weight, don't wash it even if it's in the basket.

He's a grown up. he can manage his own laundry.

It's annoying but so what? I mean really do you not do stuff that annoys the s*it out of him?

Do you do everything in your domestic set-up? Bet you don't.

So sick of these whinging threads about the trivial stuff their dp's do.

My dp works an 100-hour week while I'm a stay-at-home mum of two 18-year-old healthy children who are at uni. My cleaner comes in 3 times a week but he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor!!

What should I do?

LEAVE The BASTARD!!

29 years living with dh, I gave up with doing a "household" laundry within the first 3 months! We have our own laundry baskets and he does his own.

ds(19) does his own (including his own bedding) too!

One of us will put on a hot wash once a week with everyone's towels/tea towels. It is mostly me, but then I rarely do the bins so fair enough.

OP, this is completely a situation of your own making.

If teens and 20 year olds can be pushed to do their own laundry, he can.

Your mistake is discussing this.

Where on earth is your self repect?

I wouldn't do this for a 10 year old, not to mind an adult.

This is on you I'm afraid!

Mine does sort his laundry before washing but used to leave what is clean and dry in the basket that I used to put stuff waiting to be ironed in. He then left it for 2 or more weeks so it filled up my basket so I had no room to put the stuff needing to be ironed in.

I asked him several times not to do this. No change. I then got a giant plastic bag, chucked it all in and more or less hurled it in the bottom of his wardrobe so everything was a complete mess. When he commented on it I reminded him that I’d asked him several times to move it. He got the message.

Basically you need to cause him some inconvenience if he ignores you when you ask him not to do it.

You need to teach him a lesson.

He's a grown ass man. Tell him you're not doing it any more - and mean it.

I'm married to a lazy pig but he does his own laundry. I refused many years ago.

I wouldn't be sniff testing anyone's clothes. Kick the lot in a pile, clean and dirty. He will get the message.

DS ages 19 and 15yrs. Their clothes.... their responsibility.

If I'm feeling generous sun is out so great for drying l will offer to wash their clothes IF they bring down their laundry baskets.

No basket downstairs.... no washing done.

DS2 is like your DH. He leaves a trail of destruction behind him.... so now l put everything in a black bag i.e school books, drinks bottles, dirty plates, clothes... and put it in his room.

Less stressful for me to keep nagging at him.

He does it because he can because you always "let" him. (not being judgy but face it it's what so many of us do).

I've taken to simply dumping everything on his chair in the bedroom. Wet bathrobe left on the bed? Chair. Add the expensive suit jacket and winter coat on top. Socks and very questionable knickers on top of those.

If it's in the laundry bin I'll sort and wash stuff and then it goes eventually up to the bedroom for him to put his stuff away. Or to sit in the laundry basket until I need it. Or if I need the laundry basket the clean stuff goes on top of the dusty dresser.

I'm aghast that anyone would do this and maintain any self respect. I am not exaggerating. I actually cannot believe there is a woman in this day and age who carries on like this in their own home. Why on earth do you do this for him and then be all 'Oh silly boy' about it. Nauseating. I cannot conceive of living my life like this

“…It is mostly me, but then I rarely do the bins so fair enough.”

Emptying bins once or twice a week is not comparable to keeping on top of laundry.

Also, I really don’t understand how doing the bins is a household task for only a particular gender to undertake or is an acceptable single task that one person should be solely and only responsible for. There’s been so many MN threads where people think only men should be assigned the task of putting the bin out once a week. DH & I both empty and put the bins out when they need putting out. Can anyone explain why so many feel that this task is best suited for a man?

*or is an acceptable single task that one ‘adult’ should be solely and only responsible for.

Looks like the side of the bed where DH sleeps.
I haven’t done his washing for years because of what you describe OP.
He often tells me he’s got no pants. I tell him he won’t unless he washes them.
He puts a load in, leaves it in there for a couple days, washes it, hangs it on the airer, leaves it for days taking things off as and when he needs them.
I empty the airer because I need it, put his clothes on the bed, he dumps them on the floor

He often tells me he’s got no pants. I tell him he won’t unless he washes them
but the correct reply surely is 'have you not' followed by change of subject?

Thesharkradar

You’re right. Don’t engage with him 😂

Tell him he will have no balls either if he mentions the subject again!!!

My OH is the same. I have tried the whole leave him to do all his laundry himself, but what he does is wait until he has no clothes and tries to put on three loads on a day I need to wash bedding or towels. We only have 2 airers and a small line outside in the summer so really not enough space for that nonsense. I control the laundry now and make sure everyone's basket gets dealt with fairly. If he dumps clothes everywhere, I decide if there's enough space to wash them, if not I leave them in his giant pile for him to 'rewear'. I'm slowly training DS up to deal with clothes and laundry properly.

God this would drive me nuts!! Agree with others about putting it in an area just for him to sort.

Sorry OP I am like your husband- and unfortunately MY husband is also like your husband! We have got around this by doing our own laundry but we always let each other know when a wash is going on so either can shove things in, and also have a laundry basket and whoever is doing a wash does what's in there too.

Because it’s easy and demonstrative. Men get a hero medal for doing one or two lame jobs (like the bins and the odd dishwasher) and domestic handmaids get to save face with their friends by saying ‘oh he does loads round the house…’

Does he fuck. 🙄 But it works for those couples who are entrenched in a 1950s gender mindset but want to look like they’re not.

@UWhatNow

Men get a hero medal for doing one or two lame jobs (like the bins and the odd dishwasher) and domestic handmaids get to save face with their friends by saying ‘oh he does loads round the house…’

Spot on! 😂

I (usually) do all the washing in our house - it's more efficient than everyone doing their own, and no more difficult doing all of it than just my own.
But I have never tried to decide which of my husband's clothes need washing when they've been dropped on the floor. If it doesn't go in the laundry basket it doesn't get washed.

I'm in a same sex relationship and this behaviour isn't male only, it seems to be the lazy one vs the one most likely to give in and clean. So an expectation then develops because they aren't arsed about the mess, until it effects them and then and only then is it a problem. Other than that you are just being a "crank" or the lovely gas lighting standard of "you're expectations are too high and that's a YOU problem not mine"

OP, YANBU --- 95 percent 👌