Friend wanting me to pay legal fees

[msbees]

I primarily live in SF, CA (am British, but lived here for years). My friend lost her job and is convinced she's got a shot a filing a lawsuit and suing for wrongful termination. I don't know the ins and outs of the case because we've only exchanged a few texts on the matter. She is looking at hiring lawyers and as is common knowledge, Americans love litigation. However, she asked me over text if I could 'donate' to her legal costs. I asked what her costs would be and how much she had to hand anyway. She quoted $20k - and said that she had only $15k to her name. She said her own money (the $15k) would be next to nothing soon enough due to loss of health insurance and her general outgoings (healthcare is not like it is the UK in regards to insurance costs). So she really asking for $20k - but that's just to engage the lawyer/draft up a case. When I asked for more information about the actual case, she didn't go into much detail at all and just ranted about her hatred of the CEO and his dodgy behaviour. She did say she would shed more light on it when she had more time. So I said ok (to talking about it another time). She then left it at the same question (would I be willing to pay for the costs).

She knows I can 'afford it' due to my previous company sale being public information, yet I can't help but feel uneasy about it. I also think it's my British nature to be more reserved about money, whereas Americans are a lot more open about it. Also, when a company is sold, most of the money goes to paying shareholders etc... so what she might have seen online is nowhere near close to what we each have. (Each being management team).

I'm only too happy to get more details about the case, but she sounds incredibly angry at her previous employer and is out for blood. I can't help but think it is a waste of money, but that's only going off what little information I have.

Legal costs have a way of quickly rising into the 0000's. I don't think she has thought this through... or frankly cares. AIBU to say no, even before hearing her out at a later date?

Don't go there 0P, I have a rule of never borrowing or lending money, it often ends in tears.

no dont

You would be gambling away your money with little to no chance of ever getting it back.she's unbelievably cheeky to ask!
Yanbu.don't lend her a penny.or dime.

This is what Crowdfunders are for.

She is BU to ask.

I wouldn't lend or gift her any money. Sorry, I know that sounds harsh. Just say that you can't afford to "donate" anything

Nope

Not a good idea OP. It will put huge strain on your friendship.

She is not your friend. Say no.

She wants you to give her a lot of money just because she thinks you can? This isn’t a friend if they would expect that; say no and put some distance there

Definitely do not do this

I have a rule to only lend what I can afford to lose, so if you would not be okay to not get it back don’t do it

She's asking you to donate, meaning give without any expectation of getting it back, even if she wins her lawsuit?
I don't know what the chances are, but there's no way in a million years I'd agree to that. It's highly likely the legal fees will just keep going up and up, are you then responsible for it ad infinitum?

If she has a strong case can't she get a no win/ no fee lawyer?

Absolutely don't do it

As my ol’granfer would say, never a borrower nor lender be, ‘twill bring naught but strife.
He didn’t speak very often but when he did, he was usually right.

Of course not. Say no with complete confidence.

Ha Ha Ha

erm.....nope.

Could she look at a 'No Win - No Fee' lawyers? If they won't take it on there's a pretty good chance she won't be able to win her case.

No way. Don’t feel guilty or guilt tripped about it either.

This plan of hers has got 'will end in tears' written all the way through like a stick of Blackpool rock.

What is she hoping to gain? Is she expecting to be awarded millions for defamation/hurt feelings etc., or is it more likely to just be lost earnings - and so probably more than eaten by by the legal fees? Surely she realises that $20K is only going to be the start and isn't a fixed price? What would she do when that $20K vanishes, with barely anything to show for it? If you were to give it to her, it would be "But we've gone too far to stop now!" and then she'd have her hand out for goodness knows how much more from you.

Even without the costs for the legal case, it sounds like she's not going to have enough to live on and pay her health bills for very long anyway, so I have a pretty good idea where she will come looking for money to pay for that....

I can only see your friendship being irreparably damaged by this - it's just whether you 'split up' now by saying "Sorry, no" at the outset or whether later, having lost a truck-load of cash, when the judge/lawyers say "Sorry, no".

You’d be an absolute fool to do this.

Big nope. If you don’t want to be honest, which I would be, tell her your money is tied up in property or something, and it can’t be realised.

Hard nope. It'll only end in tears - probably yours.

It's a no from me too

By using the word 'donate', she is both confirming that she would never pay it back - likely even if she did succeed and receive a massive payout - and also making it sound like you would be contributing to an unquestionably worthy cause, like she's the equivalent of a humanitarian charity or something - so you would be fully rewarded by the 'feelz' of having done something good.

This.

She has asked you to "donate" so it's not even a loan. She's basically asking you to give her 20k. She's a cheeky fucker.