Friend wanting me to pay legal fees

[msbees]

I primarily live in SF, CA (am British, but lived here for years). My friend lost her job and is convinced she's got a shot a filing a lawsuit and suing for wrongful termination. I don't know the ins and outs of the case because we've only exchanged a few texts on the matter. She is looking at hiring lawyers and as is common knowledge, Americans love litigation. However, she asked me over text if I could 'donate' to her legal costs. I asked what her costs would be and how much she had to hand anyway. She quoted $20k - and said that she had only $15k to her name. She said her own money (the $15k) would be next to nothing soon enough due to loss of health insurance and her general outgoings (healthcare is not like it is the UK in regards to insurance costs). So she really asking for $20k - but that's just to engage the lawyer/draft up a case. When I asked for more information about the actual case, she didn't go into much detail at all and just ranted about her hatred of the CEO and his dodgy behaviour. She did say she would shed more light on it when she had more time. So I said ok (to talking about it another time). She then left it at the same question (would I be willing to pay for the costs).

She knows I can 'afford it' due to my previous company sale being public information, yet I can't help but feel uneasy about it. I also think it's my British nature to be more reserved about money, whereas Americans are a lot more open about it. Also, when a company is sold, most of the money goes to paying shareholders etc... so what she might have seen online is nowhere near close to what we each have. (Each being management team).

I'm only too happy to get more details about the case, but she sounds incredibly angry at her previous employer and is out for blood. I can't help but think it is a waste of money, but that's only going off what little information I have.

Legal costs have a way of quickly rising into the 0000's. I don't think she has thought this through... or frankly cares. AIBU to say no, even before hearing her out at a later date?

That's the cheekiest CF I've read about yet on here. Hell no.

no

And yes, you'd never see any money back from her. She doesn't want to borrow it, which would be cheeky enough. She simply wants your money because you happen to have some.

Please don’t give her a cent.

I agree absolutely not. And even if you did she might want even more money.

Excellent suggestion.

She's a cheeky fxxker and you would be wise to start backing away from her.

She intends to bleed you for as much as she can.

She is not your friend.

As PP said, if she is determined to do this, a crowdfunder would be the solution, with loads of people each giving a small amount that they can afford to lose.

It's spectacularly unfair for her to expect just one person to effectively write her an unlimited cheque. Maybe if you were a billionaire or something, but from what you've said, you're quite comfortable as a result of your hard work and wise investments, but hardly in the realm of Jeff Bezos territory.

It's a no from me.
Money and friendship do not mix.
You won't ever see the money again so unless you can afford to lose it for good and the friendship then say no.

She needs to take a free hour with a solicitors who offer no win no fee if they wont tale the case on that says it all!

Absolutely not, donate means 'never see it again'.
What proof have you that she would pay you back even if she wins?

It’s money down the drain. She needs to focus her energy on a new job, if there’s no way of challenging her old company without paying for it.

I would say I am really sorry but having looked at my finances I can’t help with this. I am also concerned about you loosing your money if you pursue this. How are you doing re finding another job, do you want to meet for coffee and talk about that?

"Sorry, but I've earmarked that money for something else. Good luck with it all though".

And then repeat as often as required. She's got a cheek.

What would you recommend for a friend, a sibling or your own child? I hope you would discourage them from 'investing' in such a risky cause.

For all you know, she could be looking into how much she can tap you for and then not even go down the legal route - just take your money as her 'compensation'!

I can see the thinking now:
CF: "Right, I've got $20K towards my legal costs."
CF's lawyer: "Well, we can proceed, but It's risky - there's no guarantee that you would win and the legal costs could end up much higher than that, maybe higher than the amount you would be awarded if you are successful."
CF: "I see. In that case, it's probably not worth the risk - it's very frustrating, but I'd probably be wiser to just keep MY $20K and not proceed any further."

Don’t make an insane gamble on her litigious bloodlust. Say no.

I would say I am really sorry but having looked at my finances I can’t help with this. I am also concerned about you loosing your money if you pursue this.

Only problem is that she's not counting on losing HER money; she's only planning on risking OP's money, so she personally has nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain.

'Df, I wish you well with your case and can lend a shoulder anytime. However, the sale of my business doesn't lead to me ending up with the value that's around. And I tied up anything left in 'long term savings' which I can't access. So I'm happy to support you anytime, but not financially'

Why all the suggested explanations? It's perfectly fine to just say. "no, I'm not paying your legal fees."

It's an outrageous request.

God no, friends don't do this. She's so cheeky for even suggesting this, I can't believe she thinks you'll send 20k over just like that!!! Absolutely not.

However, the sale of my business doesn't lead to me ending up with the value that's around.

Yes, I think she's also seeing the amount that OP did receive from the sale as a windfall from out of the blue and not earnings from years of hard work, shrewd investing and calculated risk-taking.

When you run a business, you don't just get a regular amount to take home every month, like an employee would - it's a long game, which doesn't always pay off. It's all very nice for people to come with their begging bowl once you finally see the fruits of all of your efforts, but those same people are strangely absent during all of the lean years in the run-up to your eventual payday. It's absolutely nothing like chucking an ignorable few quid on the lottery every week and then suddenly scooping the jackpot out of nowhere.

Say no. If you want to chuck money at anyone I'm crowd funding for my kitchen. ( that is a joke BTW). She isn't using any common sense and is letting her emotions get in the way. Better to lose her than your money.

If you were in the UK I'd say hear her out. We have many more employment protections in the UK than the US. The fact she's trying to get your commitment in writing (via text message) without properly discussing things first makes it seem a bit suss to me. Especially given the fire at will nature of most of the US meaning no matter her complaint, the employer may still not be liable.

She's not a friend, she's a user. And you won't see a penny of your money ever again.

You'd be crazy or an idiot to do this.

Nope. Say your assetts are tied up in long term investments and you can't access them

Don't engage with her at all about the case; the more she tells you, the more chance she has to reel you in. Surely selling a company means you'll have some legal costs of your own? Just say no.