Lodger told me I eat too much. Do I??

[Orcubed]

Obviously you’re not going to be able to tell me for sure without seeing my portions etc but I’m a bit annoyed.

She’s been wfh this week, normally we don’t really see each other. I’ve just been into the kitchen to get a coffee and opened the cupboard to get a snack to go with it (a dark chocolate rice cake if that’s relevant) and she said “you eat too much. Always eating eating eating. You will get fat when you eating like this all the time”

So Monday I had
2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water)

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Weds and Thurs basically as Tuesday except Wednesday I had toast and marmite with my coffee, no crisps either day. Dinner Wednesday was lentil and fennel stew with rice, had a digestive biscuit afterwards, last night pork casserole with mash, green beans and broccoli.

Putting aside the fact that she was rude, I don’t think I eat that much? Basically 3 meals and one snack. Would you consider this a lot of food?

Tell her that, as you’re taking her advice and cutting your food budget, you don’t need a lodger anymore, so she can fuck off. She can eat as much or as little as she likes in her new bedroom in a different house.

“Happily that is my concern not yours”

No it doesn’t seem a lot from that.
I think when we eat very healthily it can look like a lot to some people because you can eat more of certain things. You may be eating good amounts but it’s not energy dense nutrient poor stuff.

I voted YABU purely on the fact that you are being unreasonable to have not told her to keep her opinions to herself.

Did you ask for her to comment on what you were eating?

Even if you had chips 4 times a day you have a business relationship and what you eat is absolutely none of her business!

Resting bitch face and reply I am thinking of increasing the rent what with the price of food these days 😂

I would give her the benefit of the doubt, particularly if she hasn't been in the UK long (your quote didn't sound phrased as someone whose first language is English would, never mind the content). I'd tell her politely but seriously that it's considered rude here to comment on someone else's eating habits and that you expect her not to do it again. If she does it again, give her notice.

Your diet sounds fine, FWIW (not much).

To answer some of the questions
No she’s not British

Yes I am a healthy weight. The only thing I can think of is that I am a little bit bigger/softer round the edges than when she last lived with us, but I’m 8 years older (now 41) and have had another two babies since then! I’m talking about 3 kg ish not huge amounts. She’s bigger than me.

She seems to eat toast and jam at around 10am then either chicken or fish stew and rice at about 3pm then fruit in the evening.

Everyone saying get rid of her will be pleased to know she’s only here temporarily this time, has just moved back to the area and needed somewhere to stay until her new place was ready.

I wish I had thought of some of your responses. I just said “yeah I like food, seem to be doing ok so far”

Someone mentioned me not eating much fruit, I’m not that keen on fruit, would rather eat vegetables. Always get a good amount of veg with dinner but could probably do with eating them more throughout the day. Tbh though I’d rather have a few maltesers with my morning coffee than a carrot 😉

Now I wonder what culture she is from.
I'd just tell her to f.. off, really. Not sure if I'd be really offended tho, but if she was so plainly expressing her opinion about your eating habits, I would not hesitate to say something like 'its not your f...ng business, off you go to your room now"

Very rude of her - but if she is a different culture she may not have realised she was being rude. It may look like too many snacks or something if her cuisine culture is quite different

Unless you are overweight, I wouldn't pay any attention except I think you should try and discuss it with her, so that she knows it's considered rude in your culture. Your diet doesn't look too bad although it is very carb-laden

If you ARE clearly overweight then maybe she's right? Are your food portions very big? Do you have to have the 'wasted calories, like the crisps, the maltesers etc which nutritionally do nothing for you but add to your waistline? I say this as someone who is very overweight ( although I'm working on that). It is Heavy on carbs though as I said already and maybe IF you are overweight, you need to have a rethink?

Its very rude of her to comment unless it was done as a 'joke' in some way.

You eat more than me and I'd put weight on if I ate that daily. (I am older than you I expect- late 50s.) I would swap the lunchtime sarnies for a salad or soup ( as to many carbs don't work for me.)

From a health point of view, you seem low on calcium and a little high on sugar most days. (sorry!)

2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee I WOULD OMIT THE SNACK
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water) I WOULD OMIT YOGHURT THAT IS LIKELY TO HAVE ADDED SUGAR. I WOULD NOT DRINK JUICE- SUGARY TOO, EVEN IF NATURAL SUGAR.

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee I WOULD OMIT THIS
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
I WOULD OMIT THE CRISPS AND JUICE

shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Why are you allowing this person to judge your food intake?
I would be giving her a weeks notice to get the f**K out of my house!!!!

I am absolutely outraged on your behalf OP at how rude your lodger was. I think I would forget any notice and tell her to leave by tonight, whatever the consequences.

Maybe she's Ukrainian and the OP can't just boot her out

Ask her if she has issues with food you can support her with.....or buy her a massive cream cake.....rude cow

Same.
And surely, this is your ex lodger? It would be for me.

Haha you didn’t read the room, did you

@TeaandCrumpetsforTea

We are on the same page here! I couldn't eat all that either, without putting on weight ( but I am 70 and I have Diabetes Type 2). First thing that hit me when reading the Original Post was how many carbs are in the daily diet. The diet is healthy in places - but not nearly as healthy as it might appear at first glance

TBH I would give her notice asap. Who on earth wants to share their home with anyone so ill-mannered?

I'm not sure that the OP really wanted us to analyse her diet, however she has plenty of calcium in it, from the cheese in her sandwich, yoghurt, feta for dinner, milk in porridge (possibly), seeds especially sunflower seeds, and avocado.

It doesn’t matter what you eat. If you had fish and chips followed by sponge pudding and a full packet of biscuits it would be none of her business. You didn’t ask for her opinion.

Quite average, tbh. Nothing out of the ordinary. Your lodger is rude.

@Orcubed I've just seen that you are a healthy weight. So, just ignore her, especially if she is only there temporarily. You clearly have different ways of eating which is what she doesn't seem to understand

I suspect she's seeing you eating a large volume of food (physical mass) and therefore thinking you're eating too much (calories). If you ate similar volumes of the type of foods you've described her eating then you'd probably be eating a lot more calories than you are now.

I'd definitely ignore it either way. If you're happy and healthy then it's not a problem.

Unless you specifically asked the question "what do you think of my eating habits?" she's being unreasonable, even if you were eating a whole roast goose for every meal.