Lodger told me I eat too much. Do I??

[Orcubed]

Obviously you’re not going to be able to tell me for sure without seeing my portions etc but I’m a bit annoyed.

She’s been wfh this week, normally we don’t really see each other. I’ve just been into the kitchen to get a coffee and opened the cupboard to get a snack to go with it (a dark chocolate rice cake if that’s relevant) and she said “you eat too much. Always eating eating eating. You will get fat when you eating like this all the time”

So Monday I had
2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water)

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Weds and Thurs basically as Tuesday except Wednesday I had toast and marmite with my coffee, no crisps either day. Dinner Wednesday was lentil and fennel stew with rice, had a digestive biscuit afterwards, last night pork casserole with mash, green beans and broccoli.

Putting aside the fact that she was rude, I don’t think I eat that much? Basically 3 meals and one snack. Would you consider this a lot of food?

I'm concerned you're talking a stupid passing comment so seriously that you are analysing everything you eat and asking people on the internet. You need to be more sure in yourself. Don't let other people influence you so much!

You are NOT eating too much. I would worry about what messages she received growing up and if she has issues around food herself. It is not you!

Is she from another country/culture.? That sort of directness is seen as rude here but in some countries people are more direct. She may see it as being helpful, though it would annoy me too. Perhaps you should say that making personal comments about people's choices is really rather rude.

I don't know how old you are, what your weight is or how much exercise you do. If you feel fit and healthy it is really up to you to decide what, and how much, you should eat. I would say, though, and speaking from experience, it is very easy to put a little on each year and then suddenly you are overweight - and you then have the uphill climb of breaking snacking habits.

She is out of order speaking to you in that way in your own home.
It's none of her business whether in her opinion you eat too much.
I'd have told her to button it and start looking for alternative lodgings.
Now she has begun expressing her opinion, she'll take the opportunity whenever it arises and you'll start the guilt trip each time you pick up a biscuit or bag of crisps. Damn cheek!! 😡

@Lastlid

interesting you say that and wondering if this is the problem I’m having because I’m 47 and on a diet. My tummy (until the 5 years) was never really a problem but as each year goes on I notice the weight is sticking to my tummy and I’m forever feeling bloated even though I’m losing weight, toning up etc ( I go gym/swimming regularly)

BUT when I’m super focused on my diet I tend to eat more fruit and I’m addicted to mango salsa with seared tuna at the moment so I wonder, given what you said if that’s probably why I’m feeling so bloated etc as me chomping fruit all day in my 20s and 30s wasn’t an issue, it’s only been since my 40s I’m feeling so bloated.

I don’t even bother with bread or pasta these days.. I would look like I’m carrying twins 😅

Sorry OP. Not meaning to hijack, it was just very interesting to read what lastlid wrote 😊

Tell her to mind her own fucking business

She listed it with bread - avocado on toast with seeds is fairly standard.

Absolutely this!

Actually, all that sugar and processed foods (bars, sugary yoghurt, etc) aren't healthy at all.

What a bloody cheek. What business is it of hers how much or how little you eat.
Get rid of her.
I love shakshuka. Yours sounds delicious. 👍

Only weighing in because although your diet isnt excessive, its incredibly 'middle-class ' ( nervous lol)
Seed?😄 Shakushuka ? I eat many of the items in your food diary because l have the choice and means to do so and know how to prepare tasty veggies meals.
Not everyone's does so l guess it's cultural too.

Gestational diabetes is a problem for mums. Coupled with insulin resistance. The outcome is that mums struggle with glucose, found in fruit, sugary foods and in carbohydrates. Insulin is a fat storage hormone and as we become insulin resistant we produce increasing levels of insulin which is stored as fat. Hence we simply pike on the fat a lot more than when we were younger.

I had a friend come over to visit to catch up on a tv series on Saturday. She never eats anything and is basically a walking skeleton with skin (I am not exaggerating in the slightest). We had a few beers while watching TV, so I figured I'd spring for some take away that she likes to try and get her to eat.

Mid way through eating, she said "You eat too much" and poked my belly.
Then she tried to give me grief over my lack of exercise.

I laughed it off and told her she needs to consume some food as not eating is a sure way to health problems, and encouraged her to eat.

I then continued to eat. She got very rude and verbal with my eating, to the point where I looked at her and said "Look, you know you are a good friend of mine, and I love you dearly. But, .... CUT. THE. SH ! T.)

I continued eating. She ate nothing. And we got on with the evening.

I am not fat. I am not thin.
I am a comfortable 46 year old guy.

Haters gonna hate, and honestly, life is too short for this kind of nit-picking.
Do what makes you happy, regardless of age, size, or whatever.
Love your work hon! :)

YANBU.

What's it got to do with your lodger, how much you eat? It's none of their business adn you should tell them that

Ok but if I’m not piling on the weight?

How rude is she? I suppose she is stick thin. I eat as much, if not more and I do s/w and happily maintain my weight every week , though there are things you eat that I dont on S/w but quantity wise no worries , do you do much exercise?

No, you aren't eating too much at all. You are having a larger number of light meals and snacks which is totally fine but I suppose it could look like you are eating a lot through the day for someone who is not paying attention to what you are eating.

However, they key thing is your lodger was rude to you. If she is from another culture a polite reminder about British manners would probably be to her benefit. If not, and she does it again, just let her know that you consider her comments to be rude and unjustified and she should mind her own business.

I have to pick up the endless comments justifying the lodger's rudeness by assuming she is from a 'different culture'. My MIL is Scottish born and bred and that is exactly the sort of comment she would make to me (and indeed has, on occasion). I am healthy, slim and exercise regularly. My MIL takes no exercise, is skeletetal and I suspect has a life long eating disorder. She now has osteoporosis, surprise, surprise.

White British people can be just as rude as those from a 'different culture'.

The cherry Coke fanatic commenting on her diet being full of sugar, low quality and causing acid attacks on OPs teeth 😂🤦 how ridiculous!

To me OPs diet sounds painfully dull, where's the cake, pizza and crumpets?? Even thin girls like cake!

It makes me very sad that you felt you had to ask this & list what you eat.
You could be eating anything and it would still be unacceptable for her to say that to you unsolicited.
Her comments say everything about her internalised fatphobia and diet culture bullsh*t, and nothing about you and your eating habits, so please let it roll off your back and just feel sorry for her instead. I know I do.

You sound disgustingly healthy to me! 😁

Shed be having a fit if she saw what I ate.
If she says it again just tell her to mind her own business.

Coming back to this post the only thing you’re slightly lacking is fruit and vegetables.

eg I eat blueberries with porridge but not on weekends and homemade soup or bought and snack on fruit and have salads.

But that’s me not you!

She sounds rather passive aggressive and to me. Not to mention rude. Why would she be so preoccupied with what you eat.

On the surface of it your diet sounds OK but not enough background for anyone else to judge the context. She might have just hoped she knows you well enough by now chat to on a friendly, familiar basis. On the other hand, if you are overweight, she might be genuinely concerned because she has come to care about you. I would suggest a smile and tell her to stop being so cheeky. Only you can judge this.

You’re not being unreasonable, she is being rude. I would probably ask her to leave as your home is your sanctuary and you should never feel uncomfortable in it.