Lodger told me I eat too much. Do I??

[Orcubed]

Obviously you’re not going to be able to tell me for sure without seeing my portions etc but I’m a bit annoyed.

She’s been wfh this week, normally we don’t really see each other. I’ve just been into the kitchen to get a coffee and opened the cupboard to get a snack to go with it (a dark chocolate rice cake if that’s relevant) and she said “you eat too much. Always eating eating eating. You will get fat when you eating like this all the time”

So Monday I had
2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water)

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Weds and Thurs basically as Tuesday except Wednesday I had toast and marmite with my coffee, no crisps either day. Dinner Wednesday was lentil and fennel stew with rice, had a digestive biscuit afterwards, last night pork casserole with mash, green beans and broccoli.

Putting aside the fact that she was rude, I don’t think I eat that much? Basically 3 meals and one snack. Would you consider this a lot of food?

Iv tried putting aside the fact she was rude & I can’t she’s a fucking rude mare; how dare she make such a comment; in your home; you can eat wtf you want to eat it’s go fuck all to do with her & she’d do well to keep her opinions to herself!!
And for the record unless your plate is the size of a dustbin lid; your meals are really healthy imho I wish I was the healthy but I’m a fat fucker who loves me grub far to much & I’d eat what you do in a day just for brekkie 😂😂😂😂 but I’m honest about it 😁

You certainly don’t eat half what I eat! You won’t get fat on that. Sounds very heathy to me!

No, not too much at all.

Maybe she was trying to crack a joke and missed the mark? A poor attempt at banter? If you don't see each other that much, maybe she was trying to be pally but want sure how to pitch
it (and got it wrong...)

I wouldn't want her to live in my house anymore give notice the bloody cheek of her

What do you care about her opinion of what you eat? She's a lodger! Tell her to mind her own business or she can leave. Eat what the heck you like.

BTW, what is shakshuka?

That is not much I eat more than that sounds very balanced, tell her to mind her own crossing the line a bit.

It’s very funny seeing all these generalisations when I am both British and French, and grew up and have family in both countries. I find it hard to speak with authority about the differences in culture beyond my own personal experience (including friends and family in both places). But everyone else seems so sure of how things are in the U.K. and in whatever other culture they have decided to compare with. Often only speaking about as limited sections of society as me, but just much more sure that they can extrapolate beyond.

Love this reply!

People used to say that to me at work when I ate planned healthy snacks to keep my metabolism going. They were just jealous cos they didn't dare eat any snacks apparently. Until someone brought cakes in for their Birthday and then they'd stuff themselves!

That is a totally normal question and other Cypriots wouldn’t bat an eyelid. It’s also normal to be asked your salary, saying too many ‘please’ and ‘thank yous’ can be considered rude (as though you’re being too formal) and if someone offers you a drink or food in their home and you refuse, it’s considered unacceptable. They’re lovely people though (mostly) and it took me a long time to understand the indirectness of British culture when I first arrived. I’m sure I inadvertently got myself into trouble on a few occasions!

no you most definitely aren't and id be annoyed hopefully she won't be working from home much more and if so id be inclined to tell her to shut it to be honest its your home eat what you want.

@Greyflowers @SmotheringHeights 🤣🤣🤣

It’s one thing family though and another your landlady. I don’t know anyone French (which is the other european culture I have most experience of) who would comment like that in that context - lodger to landlady. Saying “they’re from a different culture” doesn’t mean they aren’t also rude in that culture!

BMI isn't a reliable way of judging a healthy weight, many top athletes would register BMI in a higher range than you might expect simply because of the difference in the weight of muscle compared with fat.

Of course it’s possible that she’s just a rude person but what I’m saying is that in different cultures, commenting on peoples’ weight is not considered offensive or rude.

Basically, you should count the calories you are eating. The average adult needs 1,500 to 2,500 calories a day, depending on their size and activity level. If you feel you are little overweight, you might consider cutting back on your current calorie level by 25-percent and expending an extra 100 to 200 calories a day (walking a mile or two is a good way to do this). As for your friend, are they a dietician, nurse or physician? And what are their intentions? If you are at a healthy weight and are comfortable in your lifestyle, I see no need to make changes.

hope they are and its not an April fools gosh im the same if I wrote down what I eat Id likely get a shock I need to start eating bit healthier totally understand your annoyance hopefully she moves out soon cos otherwise she will be getting told to keep it shut maybe she thought it was funny but its a bit cheeky. If your a mum at home sure your doing the best you can dont let it bother you in fact treat yourself to a big cream cake lol next time she's around s
he's probably jealous, just being a pain in the ass or hungry. :)

I disagree, even where it is considered less offensive/rude in various contexts, there are still usually contexts where it is undoubtedly rude and inappropriate. How many cultures would it be ok to say that to your boss? Not many.

NO and it’s none of her business what you eat or anything else. Very rude for her to say so and if she does it again then you should tell her to mind her own business and not share her opinion again. I would be very upset if she had said that to me.

The posts upon posts of unasked for "advice" are priceless. I don't know anybody in RL as obsessed with food and calories as mumsnetters.

You’re not eating a lot at all!!! That’s a normal amount for your body to function. What are they eating that makes your intake seem like a large amount?? Please don’t listen to them!

It sounds like a cultural difference but you shouldn’t be made to feel self conscious and it’s your right to eat whatever you like and however much you like. I had the opposite problem when I lived with people - telling me I don’t eat enough. It’s quite an invasion and I felt watched which was horrible. Maybe explain how you feel, she’ll probably be mortified. If she isn’t then I’d suggest she leaves.

I'm dieting at moment and am now eating a good sized brunch around 11.30 and a smaller evening meal but earlier than I used to(about 7pm rather than 8pm) and I do find it totally stops snacking @pixie5121

Personally my reply would be "I actually eat the perfect amount for my age and height. You criticise too much and if you carry on, you'll end up homeless"