To think DS would be better off getting a job rather than going to uni

[Goinganon321]

My son wants to go to uni but has no idea what to study. 75% of his cohort (non-selective state school) usually apply and go and he says it’s the norm.

He is taking English, Spanish and Sociology for A level (so no STEM) and will probably be predicted BBB. He does the bare minimum for his A-levels (no super-curricular stuff at all) so I question why he wants to go to uni.

AIBU to say he should take a year out, work and think about it? He says I am because working shifts in Maccy D’s for a year won’t change a thing and most of his friends don’t have a clue what they want to do for a career so are just choosing a degree related to their ‘best subject’ at A-level. Difference is that most of them are doing at least one STEM subject! DS doing a degree in humanities or Spanish not so useful in this day and age.

On the other hand, having him resentfully living here and working shifts for a year while all his (equally undecided) friends are at uni isn’t exactly an attractive prospect either…. Help!

He doesn't really need to know what he wants to do unless he needs a vocational degree for it.

If he's doing humanities A Levels then he would likely to a humanities/art/language degree anyway.

And they're very employable outside of STEM vocations you know.

History, English, Spanish etc are very employable degrees. There's no point in a STEM one if he doesn't want to work in STEM

To go against the grain, I agree he shouldn't go to Uni (yet). I moved away at 18 to study a Humanities course not knowing what i wanted to do. Years later i have huge regrets, it has taken me years and years to pay this back and is a huge barrier to doing another degree in the subject I now actually want to do. If you only get 1 chance to go, I think you have to have a degree of certainty about your future.

You say he has no real interest in doing a degree - but it sounds like he has no real interest in getting a job either - so he might spend his gap year doing precisely nothing, then realise he likes doing nothing and not get a job or go to uni.

At least going to uni is a positive step forward, he won't have to pay back the debts unless he is earning over a certain amount and it gives him a bit of time to grow up. When he sees all his friends applying for jobs at the end of uni that might spur him on to find something then too.

Uni helps students focus their minds on what they want to do with job fairs etc.

Unless he is into a trade, not going to uni would be a big mistake as he will end up earning minimum wage unless he can study a professional qualification. Unlike 50 years such a large % are going to uni so many people will be ahead in the pecking order if he doesn't go.

Many people don't know what they want to do until after they study. He does need to be focused on getting a 2.1 though so if he wants a year of fun, a gap year partying & working abroad might be fun, but if you don't have the means to fund that working in a low paid job for a year won't change much

I wish I hadn't gone. Saddled with uni debt for a degree I don't use. I should have worked.
Now a chunk comes out of my salary for repayment each month

Honestly OP, you need to take a huge step back. I understand you love your son and want the best for him.

If you demonstrate anything that looks like pressure, he will hold it against you for many years to come if life doesn’t go the way he imagined.

Personally, I think going to Uni is a fantastic experience for most, not all young people. If he wants to do that, give practical support. Take him to lots of open days etc.

Much of the world is Spanish speaking. It’s not a dead end subject by any means.

I'm 36 and still dont feel enthused by any particular career path. He wants the student experience and he should go for that as it can be the best days of your life (my experience was amazing). I just picked a well respected subject that I knew I could get a job with (Law) and worked it out as I got older.

OP, you are obviously very bitter about the lack of STEM subjects for your son's alevels, you mention it so many times on this thread!

People are different, everyone has different interests, people are naturally good at different subjects. If your son is predicted BBB then he's doing fine in his own area.

"DS doing a degree in humanities or Spanish not so useful in this day and age."
I very much disagree! I am earning a 6-figure salary - I studied a humanities degree. The workplace is not as narrow minded as you seem to think it is (or as you clearly are).
If not humanities, studying Spanish will open up a whole world of global business to your son.

You don't need to have a clear career path in mind before you go to university! I did not even have a career chosen when I graduated, nor when I took my first job. My career formed as I went along.

Let your son make his own choices and follow his own path.

Agree about Spanish being a great option and that will benefit him in the future. I haven't read everything but a business and Spanish degree could be a worthwhile choice. Remember he is a bit immature at the moment but along the path in college he will up his game as he grows up a bit. My ds headed off to college with very little in mind except friends and fun but 4 years later he was a different lad with a first under his belt. He did the Erasmus year which your ds could do in Spain and become a great Spanish speaker which would lead to opportunities. He doesn't need to have done business to take it up in college so definitely a bit of practical stuff alongside the language and he will be fine.

I wouldn't be impressed with part funding my dc to piss about at uni for 3 years because of the party and experience.

I agree. I think a lot of posters on this thread don't understand how the current maintenance loan system works. Would all the posters saying let him go be happy to fund a lazy student's partying? I doubt it.

DD only graduated last year. She made new friends, socialised and partied, but she was also self motivated and worked hard. She knew what she wanted to do because she took a gap year. She had time to really think about what she wanted to do without the pressure of A levels hanging over her.

It comes as no surprise that posters employed by universities are advising a gap year as well.

If he doesn't know what he wants to study then i would discourage him wasting £££s.

What I did which I personally think worked really well was to work full time in retail after A levels. This not only meant I had money so I could learn to drive etc, but also meant I had some time to think about what I wanted to do. I visited my friends at uni for nights out and stuff which was great fun, it was useful hearing what they thought of their uni and their course and helped me to choose what I wanted to do. I did decide to go to uni, I applied for the following year and not only had some savings, also transferred in my job so could work when I wanted. Similarly though I'd have been open to looking for different jobs and apprentiships, it was valuable not having the pressure of deciding when you don't actually know.

I'd just remind him that it's not uni this year or never at all!

@Goinganon321 I went to uni and wasn't overly enthusiastic about my subjects, I did ok, had an absolute blast as a student, getting pissed and partying. Do I think it was a good idea? Not particularly. My degree was in social sciences and I've yet to use it (my A levels and GCSEs have been far more beneficial).
I honestly think if I'd taken a year out, travelled, worked, etc I'd either never have spent 3 further years studying or I'd have got a job and be earning far more than I am now and probably be mortgage free.
I think some of the answers you've got on here are a bit odd. Certainly I wouldn't be encouraging my DS to go to uni and piss about and get into debt because his mates are!

But she'll suddenly hit a ceiling in her org years down the line when someone of equal intelligence but with a degree will get promoted above her due to being "more qualified"

Not true in my experience. Outside of professions that require a set degree, in my experience, degrees are like GCSEs and A Levels, once you've got to the next level no one gives a shit about the previous bit. My degree did accelerate the start of my degree to get into a graduate traineeship, but at this stage of my career the degree is worth diddly squat, someone without a degree could easily beat me in a job interview for a promotion if they had more experience in the field I'm in, the fact I did a history degree 20 years ago won't advantage me!

If he gets a good degree, which if he's getting BBB is absolutely possible, he will have so many graduate opportunities open to him.

My company (a consultancy) take on over 1000 graduates every year starting on £34,000. They take them with all degrees. Spanish and English would be a great combination. They then provide training, professional exams, etc.

You are literally limiting his options.

I agree, OP. I’ve told mine that unless they’ve got something specific they want to do or they’re happy to pursue a career in teaching then to try and find another route into work. Going to Uni to piss about doing a worthless degree for three years with no clear plan is grand if you’re a middle-class kid with financial support from mummy and daddy, but for a working-class kid whose parents can’t afford to support them it’s just incurring debt for no reason. They can get a job in Costa at 18 if they like, save themselves the burden of 100k debt.

Obviously this doesn’t apply if they want to do a useful degree with a good career path, but I don’t see the point pissing around for three years doing a media studies degree. You need to have rich parents to indulge in that kind of vanity, and my kids don’t.

I voted YANBU. I did French at uni, now I work for a 'Big 4 company'. You need a degree to get a lot of jobs, doesn't matter what it is most of the time. So he's better doing something he enjoys, if he's OK with a corporate job later on. Obviously not if he wants to be a DR or anything though!

Also, I think its good for personal growth. I had a lot of fun, but also had my first taste of independence at uni. Sounds cheesy but made me realise who I am etc.

The posters giving examples of their kids not going to uni or deferring -great. What stands out is that their kids actually wanted that. This kid wants to go to university and the parent is dismissing his desire because he doesn’t have a stem background or predicted AAA. My son did badly in his a levels-his uni said they’d take him but he’d have to do a foundation year upfront. I told him not to feel pressured about uni-that starting work or apprenticeship is fine. In tears, he told me that I didn’t understand-he wanted to go. A few years later, he got a first in his stem subject then a masters with distinction from a very well regarded uni. He’s now working for a consultancy and thoroughly enjoyed his time at uni. It was the making of him-not just the degree but the meeting people and living independently. It’s what he wanted-I really feel the OP should listen to her child and support him. It’s not as if he’s talking about 3 years in Ibiza and getting wasted.

A lot of uni degrees now aren't worth the paper their written on, unless they lead into a specific job. So many people have them now that their not as esteemed (is that the correct word?) Than they once were years ago when not everyone had them iyswim. A lot of my friends have left school and went into entry level jobs and worked their way up and now earning more than people with degrees.

That’s not necessarily true. My daughter went to uni with no clear idea-doesn’t use her degree but it was essential to get into her first sales role which she loves and is doing very well in. Her company doesn’t take non graduates and many companies for their grad schemes don’t specify a degree-just a minimum grade. Both my kids worked at uni to help support themselves and have far more interesting jobs because of their degree.

I now completely agree with OP. My ds was exactly the same, but got into a very competitive course and we thought that would motivate him. Got asked to leave towards end of year 1 as he was at risk of failing due to not passing exams throughout the year. Was offered the chance to start year 1 again. We advised a gap year where he could decide what he really wanted to do. He decided another very competitive STEM course was "his passion". Very high contact hours and labs. In both courses we were substantially topping him up. I've just discovered he stopped attending in January because it was interfering with his social life. He's lost two years of SF now. I've made it very clear that bank of mum and dad is now closed. He got his 'student experience' and realized it's overrated. He will now have to self fund any future education. Sadly I know so many parents in the same boat!

If he wants to go I would definitely encourage him to. Taking a year out is risky. So many jobs require a degree as a basic requirement, it's a shame not to go for it if he wants to.

Look for a course that does Spanish and something like Economics, Law, Business. That way he’ll get a genetic but usable degree, and might get to spend some time in Spain too. The experience of having lived abroad will really help him grow.

Quite honestly I bet this is a high percentage of students! Back in my day the clearing process meant that kids ended up taking all sorts of random courses and then sometimes changed after a term.

Having a degree does generally improve your career prospects and if he is enthusiastic about going then at least he has a purpose in life!

I agree with you OP. If he just wants to go for the experience I wouldn't encourage it. Regardless of what many posters have said, getting saddled with thousands of pounds worth of debt just to say you are at uni is bizarre. I won't be encouraging my children to go to uni unless they have to have a degree for the job role they want.

Out of my large friend/family circle the people doing the best in life are the trades. Own businesses etc. I can't think of anyone I know who actually needed their degree in the job role they have now.

The harm is massive debt starting out in life (unless the parents are wealthy enough to pay all the childs living costs + tuition fees whilst at uni). We produce huge number of graduates nowadays and getting a graduate job is highly competitive. So it's certainly worth thinking twice if someone is not enthused about doing a subject. Though maybe doing an apprenticeship would be abetter thing to try than working in maccy d's for a year. It would certainly look better on a cv.