(Have read all of OP's posts and some, but not all, replies from other posters)
Sorry that I wasn't clear.
I was trying to point out how unreasonable he is being. That he should see that if OP has to do jury duty, this is actually relatively lucky timing. That yes, it's annoying that he has to take leave now and can't spend it going away on holiday (are most people able to spend all their annual leave going "on holiday"? Surely plenty of us have to spend a fair bit of it just based at home, maybe taking the kids out to the park on dry days and finding ways to entertain them when it's pouring rain? Plus using up some precious days (or half days if you can take them) of leave to take kids or self to dentist appointments etc?)
If OP's jury duty had fallen in term time, he would think it even less worthwhile to take the time off. But OP is unlikely to be [guaranteed to] finish each day in time to pick up from preschool. Particularly for a 1 year old. So how would he manage that?
As he has this agreed time off work, a reasonable parent and husband would suck it up and look after his own kids. Yes, moan with OP about jury duty being annoying, but not blame her, not moan in front of the kids making them feel guilty. And not suddenly go back on his word a week before the jury service, deciding that his being allowed to work is more important than the OP's family having their prearranged holiday! Which sounds like multiple people losing out on something they've planned for and paid money for, when this is not their [OP's family's] responsibility at all.
A reasonable parent and husband would hopefully even manage to see the bright side and enjoy at least a tiny bit of the time with his kids. But even if he couldn't, would do his share, as already agreed, for the sake of the family.
A reasonable parent and husband would certainly not say that it would be better for his wife to get a criminal record and deal with all the stress of that, than him just look after his kids, as he had agreed to do, and is still perfectly able to do (time already booked off work).
No, Rosscameasdoody, I don't think OP's husband is likely to suddenly turn into an amazingly capable, fun, willing dad.
I was trying to say how very much I feel that OP is NOT being unreasonable.
That OP's husband is being an unreasonable prat.
And going only from the information in this thread, it sounds like the family might be better off if OP left him. But that is a hard decision to make and doesn't solve the problem of next week's jury service. (It would help with future situations- he can't let you down if you never rely on him again! But that brings it's own difficulties.)
Sorry that you're going through this OP. And I'm very sorry if my clumsy wording made it seem like I was making light of your trouble.
Aargh, and sorry that this post has got so long!