To think that DH is selfish over my jury service?

[SeekChase]

Hi Ladies...
So, around 2 months ago I was sent a Jury Summons. As I am a mum to 2 small (1&4) children, and with the Jury Service being set for first week or half term ( no preschool), I tried to get out of it, but to no avail. I do understand that they always invite a surplus of potential Jury candidates and there is a chance of getting out on the day...
However, I did give my DH plenty of notice (he is a roofer) and asked that he takes that week to 10 days off to look after the kids (I am normally the stay at home mum) - while I do the Jury Service IF I can't get out of it.

HE AGREED.
Well, last night, bearing in mind I have a week or so before the Jury service starts, he told me he wants to work and its tough. He said I'll have to not go. I said I can get fined £1000 for not showing up, he said "yes it's stupid isn't it" - but won't budge.
I have family but they are actually going away on a prearranged holiday, my DH said they will have to cancel and its not his problem. I am fuming. AIBU?

Or you could say "are bears Catholic?" And most would understand that.

But it's not as funny

Congrats on facing up to the poor behaviour you've been living with, I think you're really brave and wish you the best of luck

This is where I would be testing his intelligence tbh. I’d feed him some line like ‘well I called them today and explained the situation that you now refuse to look after your children to allow me to do the jury service and they said if that’s the case they need to take your details, name, address, dob…etc, something about a potential ‘obstructing the course of justice’ charge I'm not sure really. They said it’d be up to the police to investigate on their behalf’

I mean, he may call bullshit but if you sell it I’m sure it would at least worry him

It may be worth calling the number of the letter to explain your DH is self employed and now has work. The cost of living crisis means he really has to work and you do not have anyone else who can step in at short notice. What can they suggest?

It's sorted
He's not suit employed
He agreed to book it off as holiday

I had the same thing happen when my DDs were young. My selfish exDH didn’t even work and he tried to have me get out of doing it! I refused and said it was my civic duty as I knew he would have done if he’d been called. He sent them to our babysitter every day and I was able to claim some of it back from the court. Your husband sounds as selfish as my ex …

You wouldn't use AL to look after your own children, you'd just expect the other person to sort out CC abd dump the kids in a stranger? And not just kids but a baby and a preschooler?

🤣🤣 only on Mumsnet!

Well done @SeekChase I applaud your decisions and wish you well for the future.

While he’s been unreasonable changing his mind like that I find it odd that you think it’s ok for him to miss work and presumably not be paid for up to 2 weeks instead of deferring. I’m baffled to be honest

True, I was just replying to that person that said "does the pope shit in woods?" didn't make sense. Neither does this, but we all get the point behind it....

Troll alert.
Or maybe just someone not bothering to read it all.
The answers are all there.
There isn't a problem.
Shhhh

Do trolls shit on the threads?

NOTE TO TROLLS.
THIS ISSUE HAS BEEN RESOLVED. I WON'T BE REPLYING TO FILL IN THE GAPS FOR YOU. READ THE FULL POST OR SCROLL ON.

BE AS BEMUSED, PERPLEXED AND AS BAFFLED AS YOU LIKE

Verbal diarrhoea more like. I get the reference btw

You are doing the right thing and I'm sure 99.9% of people reading this thread will be wishing you well x

@SeekChase So when do you plan to leave him, OP?

Totally reminds me of my partner! I asked him to do two school pick ups and look after the kids for a couple of hours whilst I was at work (after school club helper) as my friend who normally has the kids had jury service. Asked him weeks in advance, yes all ok. Weekend before I double check and he says 'I can't possibly do that, I don't know how busy I'll be at work'. He normally boasts to anyone that'll listen that he finishes work most days at midday and gets to play playstation/watch Netflix! Totally control. So glad you've got out. Watch out for the love bombing and promises to reel you back in.

Find a Reg Childminder through your local Council or childcare.co.uk or care.com and DH can pay upfront and you get a receipt from the Childminder and put your expenses in - DH is a twat.

I’m very glad to hear you’re leaving this selfish, horrible man. I’m also glad your family are supporting you. It’ll be hard work but totally worth it- staying with him will ferment well-deserved resentment and you will feel freed from all of that without him.

It IS his problem!

Hope you and the children settle quickly with your parents.

I'd leave over something like that to be honest.

If you have the will and means, leave him. When everyone asks why, tell them you were tired of living with a roommate who treats you like dirt. If you cannot count on him more than you count on a stranger, he is nothing to you. That is what he thinks of you right now. You are nothing to him but a convenience. I am sure you already know that in your heart.
What is he going to do when the deferments run out?
I am mad for you, because I know exactly what sort of POS you are living with.

You've just made me laugh out loud!! Kudos op for retaining your sense of humour right now. You're going to be absolutely fine 😂