To think that DH is selfish over my jury service?

[SeekChase]

Hi Ladies...
So, around 2 months ago I was sent a Jury Summons. As I am a mum to 2 small (1&4) children, and with the Jury Service being set for first week or half term ( no preschool), I tried to get out of it, but to no avail. I do understand that they always invite a surplus of potential Jury candidates and there is a chance of getting out on the day...
However, I did give my DH plenty of notice (he is a roofer) and asked that he takes that week to 10 days off to look after the kids (I am normally the stay at home mum) - while I do the Jury Service IF I can't get out of it.

HE AGREED.
Well, last night, bearing in mind I have a week or so before the Jury service starts, he told me he wants to work and its tough. He said I'll have to not go. I said I can get fined £1000 for not showing up, he said "yes it's stupid isn't it" - but won't budge.
I have family but they are actually going away on a prearranged holiday, my DH said they will have to cancel and its not his problem. I am fuming. AIBU?

Good update OP. Hope your life continues to get better without him in it

Can everybody ignore the derailer, its either the OPs husband or another abusive twat with similar views. Neither are worth the attention.

Boris doesn't count. He and his cronies are special. The rules don't apply. They're all immune to Covid and are all automatically exempt from jury duty too.

It amazes me that people come on threads and don't at least read the OP's posts.

Yet here we are

Most people living in a democracy want to vote. That being the point 'n' all

Not his problem?? WTH?

It's a mix of 'do bears shit in the woods' and 'is the Pope catholic.'

I'll leave 7.30am and leave the kids with him, as he normally leaves at 8 My first thought was, you should leave the house to do your duty and he can arrange childcare if he wants to work, after agreeing to take holidays.
But, I see this has moved on significantly since then. Glad you got sorted with your deferral, best of luck with everything 💐💐

It's a long post, but I did say he wouldn't be out of pocket. He is an employee and had holiday booked. People keep assuming he is this high flying roofer self employed with a successful business. It isn't the case.

And can I just clarify that I OBVIOUSLY not just uprooting my children for the hell of it. This is the final straw. I am a capable woman and don't want to be treated like a doormat anymore!!!!!!!

This man is not nice and will damage you and your children the longer you stay. I hope you really do take up your parents offer! Glad you managed to sort out the jury duty. Good luck! You and your children will thrive away from him 😊

Well done @SeekChase His behaviour is appalling and this will be your turning point. Men like that don't change - his lack of respect for you is staggering.

I think you had a couple of trolls on your thread. Most posters are delighted with your update, it is the right thing to do. Onwards and upwards.

As you had reasonable grounds to ask for a deferral it is strange that you did not do so.
You could turn up with the children and explain that your childcare arrangements have broken down, perhaps the judge would release you.

Well done for taking control, I'm really pleased for you 👏👏👏

I’m guessing he doesn’t want to use up “his holiday” looking after his children? What a waste of space. Glad to read you have seen the light, OP!

Ok I get it. thanks.
Lance on the Detectorists series used the phrase once aswell.

Great decision, and lucky you have supportive family.
Good luck OP.

Of course you can defer jury service when you have a baby to look after - I have done it myself. There was no issue.

You don’t know how long your court case is going to last so it is unwise to ask someone to take the time off to look after the kids.

It is also not possible to just get a childminder for a week or two. It’s not like they keep a vacancy just in case someone needs an ad-hoc week of childcare.

Your employer has to give you time off to do jury service.

Your employer does not have to pay you for the time off.

Good luck OP!

I think you are making the right choice, our partners are supposed to be there for us and not cruel.

It's worth people making sure that jury service is covered by their house insurance, since compensation is less than lots of people earn and some employers won't support it, even though they have to provide leave.

There is a lot wrong with how jury service is handled in the UK - there should be crèches at the court for jurors who need them, and proper payment for the time. The Ed, it's our duty to do it but no one should be losing money - people worried about their kids and bills are not likely to concentrate properly!

Good on you OP. If you’re doing it alone anyway, you might as well do it alone.

Or you could say "are bears Catholic?" And most would understand that.

She didn't originally ask for a deferral as she was happy to serve and dh agreed to take holidays to look after the kids, not sure why you find that strange. The issue has arisen because at the last minute he's told her he won't take time off, the ops parents should cancel their holiday to look after kids so op can serve, and that he doesn't give a toss that she'll could be found in contempt and fined for not serving.

And the Mensa award for High Level Intelligence (and not being able to read) goes to.....Bloopsie