To think that DH is selfish over my jury service?

[SeekChase]

Hi Ladies...
So, around 2 months ago I was sent a Jury Summons. As I am a mum to 2 small (1&4) children, and with the Jury Service being set for first week or half term ( no preschool), I tried to get out of it, but to no avail. I do understand that they always invite a surplus of potential Jury candidates and there is a chance of getting out on the day...
However, I did give my DH plenty of notice (he is a roofer) and asked that he takes that week to 10 days off to look after the kids (I am normally the stay at home mum) - while I do the Jury Service IF I can't get out of it.

HE AGREED.
Well, last night, bearing in mind I have a week or so before the Jury service starts, he told me he wants to work and its tough. He said I'll have to not go. I said I can get fined £1000 for not showing up, he said "yes it's stupid isn't it" - but won't budge.
I have family but they are actually going away on a prearranged holiday, my DH said they will have to cancel and its not his problem. I am fuming. AIBU?

@PrettyMaybug I did actually find jury service quite interspersed but in no hurry to do it again. And very very glad I was excused from the 3 month murder trial they originally tried to assign me due to being pregnant.

Why are you a SAHM if your marriage is at its final straw?

Get a job! You're going to need one. As for the jury service, I'd leave the house before he's awake and ask to be excused giving the reasons of no childcare.

i'm a lawyer so have a fair amount of knowledge about the judicial system. I don't think we should use a jury. It sounds fair in principle, but I am just not sure it's the best way to enforce the law. The way it's set up is so super shit for people who have to do it too.

Slight derail perhaps, but I’m really interested in this. What do you think would be a better system? I’m woefully uninformed about legal process in countries that don’t have the jury system; are there any that you can point to that you believe are better?

I did jury service a while ago and, while many of our 12 took it seriously and applied ourselves, some barely contributed and someone said they were bored rigid and would rather just be at work! Not to mention the man (quite young, which rightly or wrongly I found particularly who said completely seriously that maybe women just aren’t as interested in work fields like science as men… I did think, would I like to have my fate decided by this lot?

My friend’s 19y girl was called last year. I was torn between thinking wtf, she is too young and, well at least she is super bright so that might help!

I agree with this as well. I think there ought to be professional jurors who are properly trained to do it as an actual job, and who ought to be demonstrably intelligent.

The only reason I think everyone should do jury service unless they absolutely can't is that this is the very imperfect system that we have (even though it shouldn't be), and juries would otherwise consist solely of people who have no jobs or children or other responsibilities. This is not an appealing idea.

Jurors are lay people and more often than not will not understand the purpose of application of laws. They are really suseptible to bias too, especially in an information overload age. That is just human nature. Not to mention people who are morally unsuitable like you mention (racist, homophobic, etc).

Many countries have lay judges, so people who are specifically trained to be judges and understand the considerations they need to take into acount. They will often sit with "proper" judges, so you have a combination. I think that is a far superior system.

I don't think there should be professional jurors, it rather defeats the point on being judged by your peers. A professional jury would end up being corrupt.

Sorry for all the typos - multitasking, not an idiot ;)

Btw I'm doing it in Autumn, and absolutely don't want to do it. There are some things in particular that I'd really struggle with, and I don't feel I could be impartial or logical about those things. And other things would be so boring that I won't be able to concentrate because I'll start to get drowsy. I so, so, so, hope I'm not actually chosen when it comes to it.

You're at least the 2nd person to suggest this. Are you so woefully ignorant to what jury duty entails that you genuinely think this is a good idea or are you just taking the piss? Either way why are you giving advice when you clearly aren't qualified to?

Many countries have lay judges, so people who are specifically trained to be judges and understand the considerations they need to take into acount. They will often sit with "proper" judges, so you have a combination. I think that is a far superior system

This would be a better system - I wasn't thinking very clearly or intelligently about professional jurors. Of course that would not be a good idea. I am not sure that the 'being judged by peers' idea works either, though, as I have come across many, many people over the course of my life and work whose views are very deeply held and completely repugnant.

This is another thing. People imagine you are sitting through murders, drug offences and rapes and what nots. When you are sitting through a 14 day trial on financial fraud with 8 folders of evidence, how many of the jury do you think (1) really understand the detail (and often the devil is in the detail with these things) and (2) aren't bored out of their heads with it. Again, that's not looking down on the jurors, but it is often really complicated and it is often very boring.

This is another thing. People imagine you are sitting through murders, drug offences and rapes and what nots. When you are sitting through a 14 day trial on financial fraud with 8 folders of evidence, how many of the jury do you think (1) really understand the detail (and often the devil is in the detail with these things) and (2) aren't bored out of their heads with it. Again, that's not looking down on the jurors, but it is often really complicated and it is often very boring.

Is it not the responsibility of the judge and/or legal representative to put anything complex into layman's terms?

I've never served on a jury so genuinely don't know.

So a bit like magistrates? That might work better - ‘real’ judges/legal types to keep the lay people on the straight and narrow in terms of knowledge and process, and maybe the lay people would guard against the corruption a PP very astutely points out as a potential issue.

Yes it is. But still. It can be really complicated stuff, you have to really be able and motivated to listen and take in all the information.

I would say generally the risk of corruption is fairly low. There are very strict rules and processes regard impartiality or judges in the non-criminal sphere. I don't see why that couldn't also be applied in criminal cases.

He sounds like a selfish, self centred arsehole. Does he realise how serious not turning up is? My friend didn't turn up. She was arrested and spent a night in the cells. She was also fined.

This!!!

You can’t not go!!!! I had to attend every day for two weeks and had to sit around in case I was needed. I didn’t get picked for the first jury group but still had to attend, then get told when you can go home. The courts aren’t interested in childcare, shift patterns , you are expected to be there if not, you are in contempt of court. Your husband is being a twat.

And when she’s arrested for contempt of court and ends up with a criminal record ? What then ? Seriously - you cant just not turn up without serious consequences. Most of which won’t affect the selfish arse of a husband.

And if he doesn’t step up the OP may lose her liberty and end up with a criminal record. This selfish arse agreed to this months ago and in backing out has left it too late for effective childcare. They’re his kids too.

Hi previous behaviour absolutely does come into it because he’s just upped the anti. Before, he was a selfish twat, now he’s a selfish entitled twat who thinks he’s not responsible for his own children, that OPs family should cancel a holiday to look after them, and that it’s fine to drop his wife in serious trouble - all because he can’t be arsed to step up and be a parent. Quite an escalation wouldn’t you say ?

Exactly this! It's really serious not showing up fir jury service. It isn't just like a parking fine. I'm mind blown that so many people on here and OP and her husband don't seem to understand this. I've recently had jury service and DH didn't even blink when I explained he'd need to cover childcare on those weeks. Is that not the normal reaction for a co-parent to have? It's inconvenient but you do your duty and share the inconvenience surely?!

Also I’m sure being a carer for someone with a disability is a valid reason to be excused.