In days gone by mothers were just expected to suck it up and get on with it, however hard it was, however much they suffered. Was that good for their children? I doubt it. It’s no secret how depressed a lot of women were in the 1950s. My father and his siblings were raised by a severely depressed, exhausted and overstretched mother in the 1950s. He’s now 70 and the damage that upbringing did to him is still obvious.
If women now feel able to ask for help then I think it’s good for them and good for their children. It doesn’t benefit anyone for women to suffer. Apart from the patriarchy.
Yes. We shouldn't forget that children are at the heart of this.
I can do everything by myself 24/7 without a break. I am capable of it. Most women parents can. I can manage to cook all meals, do all the cleaning and laundry, do all the feeds, change all nappies, do all night wakings, sort out the school uniform, make all the packed lunches and snacks, get my DC up in the morning, get everyone breakfasted, dressed and out of the house, do the school run, do school pick-up and remember a snack, do all the extra-curricular activities and swimming lessons with the baby in tow, make the World Book Day costume or bake a cake for the bake sale at 5am in the morning, make the Easter Basket and remember donations for various things, organise doctors', dentists and opticians appointments, plus hospital appointments for our baby. Hell, I can even do the daily reading-book with my older one on the way to school while pushing the buggy one-handedly. I have learnt a thousand hacks which make it possible for me to manage everything more efficiently... run bath while oven is heating up, clean the kitchen while fish fingers are cooking, bribe oldest one with chocolate buttons to tidy up their toys and fetch pyjamas while I'm feeding the baby, clean the bathroom and fold the laundry while the older one is in the bath and baby is having nappy-free time.
But on the rare occasions that I have someone there to help, I can also be a person and be 'present' with my children, instead of robotically trying to work out how to surmount the next logistical challenge. I can play with DC1 while they're having their bath, instead of just listening in from the hall. I can read them a bedtime story and really listen to them talk about their day, instead of letting them watch stuff on my tablet because the baby's screaming again and needs my attention. I can get the paints out with them after school or take them to the playground and actually interact with them in a relaxed way. And I'm not an exhausted burnt-out shell at the end of the day.
I'm assuming that the people who hate women so much that they grudge them any help also hate their children.