He's not a grandparent?

[biankss]

Yesterday I took DS to the park, and uploaded some pictures of him onto facebook. In the midst of comments my DH saw a comment from his step-dad saying something along the lines of "My beautiful grandson, whom i love very much". He never really says this, perhaps scared to overstep a boundary. However, MIL always encourages him to call himself grandad or when DS is over she says "go to grandad".

I've really got no opinion on it really, I've seen families where this happens and children have 4 grandparents and they're all very happy, including the biological grandparents. But, I noticed yesterday by DH reaction to the comment he wasn't happy and said something like "My mother really needs to stop telling Paul (not actual name) to say things like this". I could tell he was getting annoyed.

Part of me thinks he's in his right to think this, perhaps he's not comfortable with DS having another grandparent, when DH and his dad have a perfectly good relationship. The other part of me thinks maybe it's not a big deal, but I guess it's also dependent on DH's dad and how he feels in this situation.

I also don't think I should speak on the matter, as it's really none of my concern. I guess just looking for someone's perspective and maybe address with DH to avoid conflict, he's got a bit of a fiery personality, and would hate for there to be a falling out because everyone simply adores our DS.

They're not the same people, obviously. Theres no hypocrisy

I didn't say they were, I said it would be hypocritical IF they would also be offended if he favoured biological grandkids, which seems really common.

My mum married my stepdad when I was an adult. Their marriage predated our children being born. He was a much loved 5th grandparent. We didn’t distinguish.

I think it’s fine if everyone is happy with it, and not if not.

I certainly see my auntie, who is child free (though not by choice) as a third grandmother for my kids. They don’t call her that but it wouldn’t bother me at all if someone did.

In the same way, I’m an “auntie” of my children’s younger brother - so the child of their dad and step mum - because what else would I be called? I’m not his step mum.

Same for me on one side of my parents but on the other my parent has had multiple partners since my children were born and pushed vigorously for their latest partner to be called 'grandparent' by my children. I asked and asked them to stop and wait for it to happen organically but they wouldn't. Once the kids started questioning why they had a new grandparent again my husband and I put our foot down hard and even then they pushed. It took threatening to not bring them round anymore before we were 'obeyed'.

My father died when I was young. Mum remarried a few years later. My step father’s parents became my third set of grandparents and they are just as dear to me as my other (blood) grandparents. Kids will accept and appreciate the extra love 💕

My grandchildren have 3 nannies, nannie x, y and z. The kids love us all equally and don't give a rats arse about the bio relationship nor should they.