Would it BU to ask if it’s ok to do this at my daughters school?

[FamilyBusiness]

Hi all, it’s my little ones birthday in April, she will be six. Her birthday falls on a day she’s in school. My oldest son (10) is in same school, he is booked in for a feeding tube to be fitted (Cystic Fibrosis related) on the 18th of April. So we will be celebrating my daughters birthday a week early. But, WIBU to ask their school if I could pay for an educational animal visit for my daughter & her whole class for her birthday it’s a one hour visit.

As she has Autism & is going to be distraught that her brother is going in hospital (I’m dreading it) & I think it would really cheer her up & take her mind off it especially going in to school on her Bday knowing her brother isn’t there that day. Even though we will be celebrating together the week before, he will be in hospital at the time & so she won’t see him in school that day.

I don’t want to email the headteacher if it’s a bad idea, it will be an educational visit with bunny’s, birds, insects, etc etc. Thanks

I'm a teacher, my head teacher would bite your hand off for this.....the budgets are crippling! The head would say, x's parents kindly donated so we could have a visit from the animal people in the newsletter (rather than publicly making it a birthday treat). We've had parents donating their time for all sorts (circus skills, police dogs/cars, cooking). Some of it not connected to the curriculum at all but a nice experience (like the Christmas panto or trips to theme parks that are often loosely linked to the curriculum).

If they've been in the school before they'll already have a risk assessment they can quickly update or amend. If not, it's a very common workshop in schools, that it really wouldn't be a bother. And if it's not feasible (timetabling, high risk children etc) they'll politely decline and The staff would think oh that's a shame but they'd no way think you were trying to take over the curriculum or anything sinister.

I definitely think you should ask. In fact we'd happily have you at our school for the day!

@whatwhhat Thats lovely to read. I think my post went down like a lead balloon because some people assumed I was going to walk in demanding special treatment for my little girl. I definitely wasn’t 😂It would’ve been paid for by me, I wouldn’t even be there & it would be for her whole class. Heck if they said they couldn’t because they didn’t want to leave the rest of the years out I’d have happily paid for them too. Just something for her to have fun in school whilst I’ll be in the hospital. Mum guilt ay 😅

Years ago we’d organised an animal party for my son’s 6th birthday. Huge excitement all round, 30 children ready and waiting in a hall and the guy calls and his van has broken down . It was a hideous afternoon but that’s another thread but he offered to do another party free of charge. As my son had already had his party, we asked the school whether the guy could visit them instead (he visited schools regularly so insurance/risk assessments etc all fine). Thankfully they said yes and it was brilliant - with my DS going out the front to hold the tarantula (called Lady GaGa IIRC ) but other children also getting the chance.
It was years ago but the trauma of that phone call is still with me - thank goodness the school were generous enough to save the day!
to you for what sounds like a difficult situation.

thays exactly what did happen whatwhhat

the principal, (once she realised I was offering to pay), actually said she was biting my hand off because the school could never afford it themselves.

definitely ask and I hope your son will be ok after his operation x

@AnyBenny On my goodness thank god that was saved & he offered to do another one for free 😂Sounds like they had a great time! I bet your DS was proud as punch holding the tarantula, bless. Braver than me because I couldn’t hold one. You’ve put a smile on my face with that post. Thank you so much x

@3luckystars Thank you very much for your well wishes x

Am I the only one who was wondering what an educational animal is....its just clicked. I was imagining maybe something like The Count from Sesame Street.....or maybe some very clever monkeys doing a chat about the Egyptians

@JudgeRudy Haha! An educational visit about animals. But I think they’d LOVE a Sesame Street visit.

This is an awful response. Clearly someone with absolutely zero understanding of neurodiversity or cystic fibrosis.

OP you've got an interesting range of responses. I think you probably know your school best. I think our school would likely say no because they couldn't do the same for every child's special day, and many of them are going through a lot. There just isn't the capacity for them to single out children in that way. I think the reason they would tell me If it's a two class year group as it seems a bit unfair on the other class. We aren't even allowed to send in sweets or cakes due to the healthy schools agenda but they do have lots of lovely visits and things just none of them associated with any one child.

I hope your daughter's birthday and your son's stay in hospital all goes as smoothly as possible and that she has as good a day as possible.

I would absolutely ask.
no one here can possibly know what the reply will be.
it’s a lovely idea. You are cheering up your child along with all the other children which is very generous.
it’s the sort of thing kids remember for ever.
ours had visiting animals and it had to be cut because of budget, so yes, of course ask!
if you don’t you’ll never know!

Schools often organise activities like this. No harm in asking.

Former TA here, lovely request as can tie in with the national curriculum but up to school to decide. Best wishes either way x

It's interesting that PP's said they'd done it, though they did give the school plenty of time.

I imagine there would be things like insurance or whatever they need to sort out.

So sorry your son's poorly @FamilyBusiness x

No it’s completely inappropriate. If you wanted to organise something like that then do it after school and invite the whole class

It is very short notice.

I had a surgical feeding tube placed about 6 years ago and I took it out last year (around this time) so know how daunting it can be and I’m here if you want to ask anything.

as for an hr of animals being brought in paid by you some places actually don’t mind and see it as an educational hr and a bonus if not paid by them but it would have to be from a reliable and approved agency incase anything goes wrong but like others say, be prepared for them to refused though even though it’s a nice thought.

arrange for the visit to be done at you home instead

In my DC schools this wouldn't be possible BUT reading PPs, I see it can vary widely so I think it's worth asking.

We also couldn't bring in cupcakes or treats so obviously schools are different!

Best of luck to you all.

OP I'm not going to read all the other posts as I see many of them have been nasty, but that actually sounds like a lovely idea for a 6yo age group. I understand it might be difficult with curriculum etc but it might actually fit in with some kind of science lesson or something. Do you know your DD's teacher well enough that you could sound her/him out quietly first to see if they think the idea is feasible before you ask the HT?

Our local ecology centre used to do this for school groups and it was a massive hit. The kids were 4-6 age range. (Not UK)

Teacher here....

I would ask. I wouldn't make the focus of it being your child's birthday, it may not bappen on the day you would like it to. If the company go to schools often then they'll have their own risk assessments that can be used.

Many schools would be overjoyed if a parent offered to pay for something like this.

Hi op I would check with the teacher if there are any allergies you need to take into account in regards to sending in cupcakes. Not saying don’t do it just check so they don’t have a child missing out or your daughter not allowed to have them

I don’t think this is a good idea as it’s setting a precedent. I understand why you want to do it and it’s a lovely thought, but it’s not appropriate.

i agree with this actually. If you don’t say it’s for your child’s birthday then fine. If it becomes a birthday thing then that’s when it’s setting a precedent. Obviously if it’s too much hassle for school with timings and risk assessment etc then also fine