Would it BU to ask if it’s ok to do this at my daughters school?

[FamilyBusiness]

Hi all, it’s my little ones birthday in April, she will be six. Her birthday falls on a day she’s in school. My oldest son (10) is in same school, he is booked in for a feeding tube to be fitted (Cystic Fibrosis related) on the 18th of April. So we will be celebrating my daughters birthday a week early. But, WIBU to ask their school if I could pay for an educational animal visit for my daughter & her whole class for her birthday it’s a one hour visit.

As she has Autism & is going to be distraught that her brother is going in hospital (I’m dreading it) & I think it would really cheer her up & take her mind off it especially going in to school on her Bday knowing her brother isn’t there that day. Even though we will be celebrating together the week before, he will be in hospital at the time & so she won’t see him in school that day.

I don’t want to email the headteacher if it’s a bad idea, it will be an educational visit with bunny’s, birds, insects, etc etc. Thanks

No harm in asking the school if they would like you to pay for animals to come in. Not sure it should be linked to your daughters birthday in school as this could set up a competitive thing between parents.

I think this is highly inappropriate. Does it not occur to you the additional work it involves for the teacher just so your daughter can have something 'nice'?

If you can’t explain to your child that another child’s family is going through a lot with their little boy in hospital etc then it’s worrying.

I'd happily explain this to my child but how would I know this is the case unless I was friends with the OP?

You keep accusing everyone else of being rude but fail to see that when a reply isn't to your liking you're incredibly rude and offensive!

I think if you don’t make children aware it’s ‘for her birthday’ or expect them to treat it as such then i think the school will bite your hand off. Schools have no money and are expected to deliver ‘a broad’ curriculum, perhaps ask the sanctuary what curriculum links they make as this will also strengthen your case. If they go in to schools regularly I’m sure they will have this at their finger tips.

Book a party with animals on a Saturday. We've attended a couple of party's that included an animal expert person bringing all sorts and letting the kids hold them whilst giving some informative talks. This is not something you need to be doing in school time. I'm not sure why you needed to get in there your child is autistic, school can't make different rules for her. All the other kids will want to be having special visits on their birthdays too, 30x special visits, there isn't time.

I think you're suggesting this out of the best of intentions OP, but I think it's a terrible idea and will cause problems you haven't anticipated to your dd and the school staff.
There is no way the school can justify allowing this unless they make your private information public, and then not only will parents but also your dd's classmates know all about your situation - which you may be happy with, but children can be cruel about these things.

Fuck me, you'd complain about something the school does anyway sometimes?

Absolutely no harm in asking when this is something the school has done before.
To the pp who said they would complain heavily about this visit - you're that parent everyone finds a complete nightmare. What exactly would you have to complain about?
Our school did this in January and the children loved it. Next time I'll make sure report to ofsted and threaten to pull them out.
Don't be put off by some of these shocking comments op, it's not anywhere near as weird as anyone has made out. I hope your daughter has a lovely birthday and your sons operation goes smoothly x

If I was a parent of a child in that class I would heavily complain if it was allowed to go ahead

You'd "heavily complain" about a visiting workshop that actually fits in with the science curriculum really well? Ok then ...

Some of the parent's attitudes on this thread are incredibly depressing 🤦🏻‍♀️

I doubt they will agree. While it's a lovely idea you can't have one class having something out of their curriculum and not the others. However you could ask. They can only say no

Lovely intentions OP, but no. What if every parent wanted to arrange a visit of some sort for their children on their birthday? It would then get into a competition.
Lots of children have their birthdays on school days and are content with a bag of sweets and a round of happy birthday!

Is there a reason you can't celebrate her birthday at home instead of in school? Maybe because of your other child, some how?

The real issue is that anything in school can't be about your DD as special. If you wanted to fund a fun day or make donation to the school to use when they see fit then go ahead . But you can't specify the day and control what it is . And you cannot have your child at the centre of it like you would at a party
Be aware of allergies in class when sending food in so can send alternative for child if appropriate so they don't feel left out. Common ones, dairy, gluten , nuts obv , and no products containing gelatine

Would she not find this a bit overwhelming with everything else that is going on? If you are celebrating her birthday early which is really good idea then make that her real birthday for this year and let her actual one pass by

I work in a special school.

We've had these types of visiting farms before for education purposes.

So I think emailing and asking if you can pay for one is perfectly ok.

They may say no due to having to do risk assessments etc but certainly asking isn't a problem.

I’m really surprised by a lot of the answers on this thread. It is so difficult for schools to balance engaging visits for kids with affordability for families at the moment. I would definitely ask op. I would make it clear you don’t want it to be a ‘birthday treat’ and say you would not want recognition for the donation- but that you would be happy to cover costs if school would like. They might say no or yes but either way it is a lovely offer.

I also have a child who needs multiple hospital stays - and another that doesn’t. I know how tough it can be on everyone. I hope your daughter has a lovely birthday no matter how it unfolds, and the hospital trip goes well.

I will just ask if it’s ok for her to bring in a round of cupcakes & a goody bag each for her classmates.
This is still OTT. If your school allows treats then a small bag of sweets or a small cake. Not cakes and a goody bag. It just means the expectation for every birthday in the class starts getting wilder and wilder.

I think this is a lovely idea. My child is in year 1 and this year the school arranged for a reptile encounter for his class and last year they arranged for some farm animals to come in so the children could pet them and learn about them. There's no harm in asking.

No, she wants a teacher who is working 60+ hours a week and responsible for 30 children to be her party planner instead!

I think the replies are quite harsh, my DC is sick and her school are so supportive and not a single parent had an issue with an hour of animals and party food, they sang happy birthday so knew it was her birthday and everyone was super supportive including the other parents. Kids had fun, learned about the animals… everyone got cake ( diff kinds for diff kids ) and it’s never been done again by anyone else .

Except there isn't a whole lot of planning to do, these visits invariably come with their own risk assessments and it doesn't take that much planning to rejig an hours session. I've been a teacher for (too) many years and wouldn't mind helping to arrange this at all.

I say ask. (School governor). Budgets are so tight, they may well be delighted for an offer to pay. I was in our school last week during science week and they were incredibly flexible with sudden changes and there are always various interventions, music lessons going on during the day. An event only for 1 class is fine, not every class gets to do every external workshop that comes to school. Ask the headteacher.

@notsayingmuch seriously 🤣🤦‍♀️ They do these things in primary school all the time. Stop being dramatic.

I would certainly ask (don't link it to birthday though). Our school would certainly look into it and how it might fit in, they have similar visits, assemblies etc and encourage similar activities. There are some very negative people on here (who would complain about an educational visit 🙄)

Ask the school. It’s their opinion that matters, not a bunch of randos on the internet. Worse that can happen is they say no