DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

Since literally about1% of the threads on here are about war and 0% are about famine, do you post this on every thread?

Just cut and paste on every single one?

She was dealing with sick kids, she'd had a hard day, she assumed dinner was one thing she didn't have to worry about. He should be well able to feed himself.

If you were in that situation, and didn't make something for your DH then would you think you deserved that reaction from him afterwards?

I may if I was feeling kind have text him, "went to serve dinner, you'd eaten your portion last night, so get yourself something on the way home".

I would of just dropped a text saying not enough now if you want to pick something up on way home

think combination of normally left overs fair game and not listening to you

I don’t understand why you are questioning me. I have already said what I would do, I would have used up the lasagne as OP did. But again if my husband was working late I would at least put some thought into what he might eat when he gets home. And if there was nothing in the house, I would tell him to pick something up for his dinner.

You did the right thing. Don't question it.
Now forget about it. DH knows he ate his the night before.

His reaction is momentary, surely, at not having more of your delicious Lasagne. Take it as a compliment and move on.

Great.....so you'd take on all the mental load of deciding what your husband might eat, or the mental load of having to baby him by telling him to pick up something for dinner for himself because he was unable to understand himself that if he ate the extra portion the night before there wouldn't be enough.

Well in this case the OP decided NOT to take on the mental load of that (Good for her) and her husband responded by calling her selfish etc.

He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

I'm not sure I'd have been able to keep a straight face tbh... "DH, are you REALLY suggestions that we should have had less and gone hungry just so YOU could have extra lasagne? Surely not?"

😂😂😂 Excellent trolling 😂😂😂

Classic, this why charities don’t like to give micro loans to men. So bloody selfish, no matter what they will always ensure they benefit themselves the most and then everyone else must live of scraps.

so he gets a triple share at the cost of his family getting smaller portions?

he should be embarrassed even saying that out loud.

So chimes with me OP. Similar here last night , lasagne related too, only me working. I left it all plated up for DH and the kids, took a rubbish sandwich for tea at work, came home and it’s not been eaten , had the frozen pizzas that were for the weekend instead. Blew my top!

Its so infuriating when you shop, plan, cook it. We’re not running a restaurant!

He was greedy, selfish and entitled it seems to me. Why should others go short because of his actions? Did he think there was a lasagne fairy who would magic up yet another portion for him? I hope you left him to sort out his own dinner. 🌹

I’m embarrassed for your DH.

A yummy crisp sandwich?

She's not a toddler or a 1950s housewife leaving food for the man of the house

What an odd suggestion to someone whose rightly angry about dickish selfishness

What a stupid comment

I would have fed my kids and myself normal amounts and left the remaining amount on a plate for him, along with ingredients to make his very own delicious crisp sandwich

Well done OP, you dealt with that perfectly and for once, most people agree with you with only a minority seemingly thinking that you are responsible for keeping an endless supply of food ready for your DH to throw into his bottomless pit of a stomach.

Definitely ask him to explain how you're the selfish one when it's him who's expecting his wife and children to go without food so he can have as much as he wants.

Ah the greedy sod wants his cake and to eat it.

Tell him straight. No.

He did have some lasagne the second day didn't he?

Which means (presuming you'd made an eight portion lasagne, five of which were eaten the first day) that your portions where smaller on the second day to allow there to be a bit left over.

Well maybe your children, depending on age, have smaller portions so it wasn't an eight portion lasagne. But you get what I mean, you'd created a lasagne which would be divided in to half, portioned on day one between you all and leaving similar sized portions for day two. So on day two there must have been a decrease in portion size to allow a bit left for him?

That's my long winded way of saying YANBU, you did make an adjustment for him, so what's his problem?

He’s lucky he got any, greedy pigs they are. I had to almost wrestle the biscuits off mine last week. He’d wolfed down half a packet of my favourite Chocolate Oaties, & nearly all the Gingers. Why the fuck they think they should eat everything is beyond me.

Even my 16 year old knows if I cook four burgers and he eats two then he gets his own dinner the following night, he doesn't get half mine (plenty of other food in the house).

YANBU. I would have done exactly the same !
He knew it was for another family meal. He chose to eat his share last night.

What is his food shaming accusation about?

Is he over weight?

It’s greedy and selfish, but it’s really not gaslighting 🙄

I’m embarrassed for any poster on this thread who thinks some variation of: it’s the woman’s job to feed their hubby yummy din-dins while depriving themselves because everyone knows that a hubby gets much hungrier than a wifey because penis and it’s ok because you can make yourself a yummy crisp sandwich.

OP - there were eight portions of lasagne and everyone got two each. It’s basic maths. Tell him to spell out very simply which one of the three of you he expected to have less food so that he could have their share and if he’s got the gall to say anything other than he now realises he was being a complete dick, tell him to fuck off.