DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

He's a greedy selfish dick, and I'm glad you only left him a small portion! That's the price he pays for snaffling extra last night.

😳😳😳

The reactions here are nuts. Yes he's selfish & immature but God the outrage.

Presumably I have said something similar before?

I’ll find another way to articulate the point if it’s that bothersome to you. But the point about underlying melodrama stands. One has to let go of these things for the sake of one’s health.

Yanbu though with the caveat that it does depend upon the portion you offered last night being sufficient without him helping himself to seconds - I've read too many posts about chickens and massive salads to not be skeptical about people judging what a portion is.

Warn him? He already ate his portion last night!!

DH at half the leftover chicken that was supposed to be supper last week. So DS and I ate all the rest whilst he was at hockey practice. He didn’t say anything.

He should have had a bowl of cereal or toast if he was peckish.

Good for you. Cheeky bugger.

I’m currently on strike. Since I had a crap Mother’s Day. I make myself dinner and sort myself and the dogs but the 16 and 10 year old they are sorting themselves.

I didn’t wake them up yesterday and left for work at 7.30 am with them still fast asleep.

on Monday they were having a full on argument and again I left for work.

eldest has just said I have piano this morning - so I need to be early and I said better book a taxi then as this taxi doesn’t run on rudeness.

so far they are learning - all washing up is piling in the sink etc

You're good. He had his bit already.

@Nailsandthesea this deserves its own thread for moral support for you! Good luck!

No, the issue is that he didn’t communicate with you or put any thought into what you would all eat the next day. There are other things he could have eaten last night if he was still hungry.

He ate his yesterday. He doesn't get to do that and then eat everyone else's dinner today.

I'm going against the grain I think yabu I wouldn't begrudge him getting another portion and I'd just tell him to make something else. I wouldn't fancy having the same tea two nights in a row mind.

Mine used to do this or I would cook enough for two meals for two of us and he’d eat half or more of the second meal. He would also leave a spoonful of something so he could say he didn’t eat it all. I started dishing up the spoonful for his meal and that stopped him- if he clearly thought he’d left enough left for another meal then he could have it!

YANBU to be upset that there was not enough dinner for the second night, and you again have to put the mental energy into "what's for tea", when you are busy with DC.

YABU for putting corn on the cob with Lasagna. I do hope there are no Italians on this thread.

I make a mean lasagna and get loads of compliments on it. Mine will do something similar. It is annoying, but with 6ft teens in my house, I like the fact that my cooking is appreciated.

The fact he knew you’d said it was for tonight’s dinner means yanbu. If he’d wanted more at actual dinner time last night then you would be unreasonable to say no.

No, you did the right thing. He knew it was for a 2nd dinner, before he ate a portion. I would have done the same, and put a tin of baked beans with it. He was being selfish, and actually assumed you'd all have alot less, to prioritise him!

OMG, Lasagnagate.

Oh, you’re OPs doctor are you? You must be being so privy to her medical background to make such statements.

Hmmm. I want to say YANBU but actually I wouldn't do what you've done. I'd find a way to bulk it out so that everyone could eat the same meal. It's slightly irritating, sure.

I'm trying to comprehend why two DC who are heartily eating lasagne, corn on the cob and garlic bread can possibly be so ill they can't leave the house.

I also want to know how big the lasagne was/the portion size?

"Oh you pigged the lasagne after dinner last night, never mind darling I'll make you an omelette tonight." or "just realised you ate tonight's dinner last night, please can you pick up something for yourself on your way home.".

I can't see it as a big deal.

There you go OP, you just need to learn to woman better, like this one. Always prioritise the menz, and give them whatever they want, don’t ever refuse the little kings. Females could never understand a male level of hunger. 🙄

Yes if he was working late and I noticed there wasn’t enough lasagne for him I would take a fraction of a second to assess if there was something else in the fridge. And if not, I would mention it when we swap texts about him setting off for home. This is because I am a normal person in a loving relationship and I don’t get stressed because my husband eats something without my permission. Honestly the over reactions on here are unbelievable.

Mental load ffs. 🤣 Can you not do anything nice for anyone!

Well, as the Male Viewpoint is worth 200% of the female, I asked both adult men in my family what they thought.
As they are both on the spectrum, and therefore powered by logic rather than sentimentality and stereotyping, they thought what the OP did was logical and her OH had his portion as Second Dinner. So he should have planned what he was going to have instead when he came home, and sorted it. HTH

But he ALREADY KNEW he’d eaten his portion of lasagne!!! She didn’t have to tell him that!