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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just made a mum friend who is 10 years younger than me

250 replies

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

OP posts:
EntreMummy · 21/03/2023 11:57

since having DC I have always had mum friends who range from 10 years younger to 10-15 years older than me.
That’s life - you can’t expect your adult friends to always be of same cohort age to you.

qpmz · 21/03/2023 11:58

You have things in common and your children are friends too. What is it that makes you question or worry about a 10 year gap? When you say you believe she had her child young, you must know how old she was based on her son's age?
Enjoy the friendship!

LeFeu · 21/03/2023 12:00

I had my kids young and always feared that people were weird about being my friend because of it - think being 19 at antenatal group and everyone talking about their kitchen extension and me £500 deep in my overdraft trying not to cry. But since then I’ve made some amazing friends who are 10+ years older than me with kids the same age and I really value their different perspectives on things.

don’t make her feel like I did - be a good friend and you will both benefit!

FrauleinElsaMars · 21/03/2023 12:05

I was was 21 when dd was born, most of my mum friends are more than 10 years older than me. Rarely crosses my mind.

ActDottie · 21/03/2023 12:05

I don’t understand the issue

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 21/03/2023 12:07

Why? Why would her age even cross your mind? Ugh.

londonloves · 21/03/2023 12:08

Totally irrelevant. I don't even know how I old a lot of the other parents at my kid's school are.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 21/03/2023 12:08

No you cannot be friends with her
Don't ever speak to her again

🙄

Horsemadlady1234 · 21/03/2023 12:09

completely normal I’ve got friends 15 or more years younger and friends in there 60s-70s who I go ride with what’s the issue?

CleaningOutMyCloset · 21/03/2023 12:10

My best friend, who I met when dc were in primary school is 19 years younger than me. We now do a joint hobby together and take at least a long weekend break together a year.
You're putting way too much thought into it

lazycats · 21/03/2023 12:10

The cowaardly OP seems to have fucked off but hopefully she won't dismiss the friendship on the basis of a number.

Season0fTheWitch · 21/03/2023 12:11

I'm the youngest mum in the playground and find my mum friends and I get on so well because of our age difference. It just means we have different perspectives and experiences on motherhood and it often helps to have opinions from people with older kids/who had kids older.

Wenfy · 21/03/2023 12:11

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

I was 38 when I had my first and 46 with second. There are some mums who are nearly 30 years younger than me. If you get on, you get on, but you don’t have to be her friend for the kids to be.

IamnotSethRogan · 21/03/2023 12:14

I had DS relatively young and the majority of friends I've met through kids have been 10/15 years older than me. Never gave it much thought

ColinRobinsonsFart · 21/03/2023 12:14

My best friend is 20 yrs younger than me - she is the same age as my eldest daughter.
her husband is also my friend - and they are good friends of my husband.
we have lots in common ( we are in the same business) but we also have lots not in common. We still have lots to say though!

i do feel quite maternal towards her and her husband. When her husband was badly injured and bed bound I would pick up their little one from school and make sure the husband was ok.

they have moved away now but we meet up and go on holiday together.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 21/03/2023 12:15

Back in the 70s DM had me and DB at 30 and was divorced when I was 5.

She socialised and had play dates organised with us with other local kids.

Years later one of the mums or their DD and me were chatting and she’d never realised my DM was 30, they were all 20 or in 20s. My DM has always dressed younger (more jeans and T-shirt/vest top then, than anything else) and looked younger than her age (she’s been told 10 and more years younger). She also acted younger (but not in a bad way!).

Just meet her and her DS. Age is nothing but a number!

NancyPickford · 21/03/2023 12:19

I've had good friends who were 14 years younger than me and 17 years older than me, and it never occurred to me to question it.

YouJustDoYou · 21/03/2023 12:20

My friend is the grandmother and guardian to her granddaughter. She's 20 years older than me, proper salt of the earth, we have totally different lives but we get on really well, natter away about everything and anything, I love the advice she gives and her no-nonsense attitude. She's a hard grafter, had to be with the life she's been dealt, and she's just an all-round decent human being. I think she's great. I have other mums I know my age who are also pretty decent people, I've been lucky with who I've met.

WeeOrcadian · 21/03/2023 12:21

My best friend is 10 years younger than me, I consider her more of my sister than friend. I couldn't care less about the age difference, it makes zero difference to me, or her.

TranscendingTheSituation · 21/03/2023 12:21

I don’t have kids but now that I’m an adult (mid 30s) the age range of friends is quite wide.

I don’t have many friends that are the same age as me, except the ones I still have from school/university. I’ve got friends who are 10/12 years younger and friends that are 20 or so years older and lots in the middle. It doesn’t matter how old they are, I choose them based on whether or not I like them!

leggingsandasweatshirt · 21/03/2023 12:22

My best mum friend is 10 years older than me! Not an issue at all although I do enjoy pointing it out to her 😂😂😂

Nancydrawn · 21/03/2023 12:22

My lord I hate the term "mum friend."

OP, I have friends from their 20s to their 80s. I am particularly close to a few different people who are 29, 34, 47, and 61.

I am in my late 30s.

ArianahX · 21/03/2023 12:22

One of my best mates is a mum who is 10 years younger than me, & I don't have children anyway sadly. We became friends as we both work together and are quite similar.

Corah5 · 21/03/2023 12:24

I have friends who are 25 years younger and older than me. As long as you’re all adults I don’t really see the problem?

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/03/2023 12:27

I have a good friend who is 24 years younger than me. We share the same interests.