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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just made a mum friend who is 10 years younger than me

250 replies

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

OP posts:
ToWhitToWhoo · 21/03/2023 11:40

Of course-I have friends of all ages, from their 20s to their (at least) 80s. It would nowadays be considered as unreasonable and prejudiced to rule out people as friends because of where they were born, and I don't think it's very different to rule out people as friends because of when they were born.

Hope this friendship turns out to be great!

CattySam · 21/03/2023 11:41

Jeez Louise, I can’t believe this is even crossing your mind. Are you yourself very young perhaps?

I was an older Mum, one of my DDs best friends Mum’s could easily be my daughter. I had never considered it a reason not to form a friendship with her, I hope she hasn’t either.

SignOnTheWindow · 21/03/2023 11:43

The majority of my friends are at least 10 years older than me!

Hasn't ever been an issue.

DonttouchthatLarry · 21/03/2023 11:46

What a bizarre thing to worry about! My two closest friends are 10 and 12 years younger than me. Another friend is 20 years older. We get on because we share values, interests and sense of humour, nothing to do with our age.

girlfriend44 · 21/03/2023 11:46

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

Ofgs, here we go the mumnet age thing again, this time it's friendships.
What the f has her age got to do with it, if you like her and get on.

SpaceJamtart · 21/03/2023 11:49

I am close with a few mums from the gate, I dont know many of there exact ages but they are mostly between 10 and 20 years older than me, aa I did have mine young. They are all lovely and we get on really well as we have currently similar lives e.g. spend them running around after 5 year olds.
I don't think the age difference matters much at all- we all have to do phonics in the evening.
I guess one helpful difference is while my reception children are my first, for my closest friend her reception child is her fifth so she has a lot more experience which is great.
She knows all the good rainy day activities and in September she was a brilliant calming presence for a load of nervous mums.

Blippie · 21/03/2023 11:49

Wow, I had my first at 17. Good thing people aren't bothered or I'd have no friends. 10 years is nothing I can't believe you even ask frankly.

If you both have children, you have add much in common with them as you do any other parent on the playground.

SparkyBlue · 21/03/2023 11:49

I can't believe that you might think it's an issue. Surely since adulthood and going into the workplace you've had friends/acquaintances of all ages. I was in my late thirties and forties having DC. One of the mums at DCs school was 19 having her first baby. I'm nearly old enough to be her mother but we get on great. It's one of the joys that you find once school finishes and you aren't stuck with a group of people where the common denominator is that you are all the same age.

dottypotter · 21/03/2023 11:50

Silly thread are you bored?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/03/2023 11:50

I think everybody should wear one of those big badges you get on birthday cards that state things like "I'm 40 years old today". (Obviously one would scrub out the 'today')

It would avoid some of those embarrassing moments and could be a positive boon for youngsters in pubs and clubs.

FatGirlSwim · 21/03/2023 11:52

Total non issue. I have friends who are ten years older and ten years younger.

Leah5678 · 21/03/2023 11:52

My son is in reception too, I had him when I was 16 (21 now) his best friend at school lives with his grandmother, she must be at least 40 years older than me and we get on fine

Bearpawk · 21/03/2023 11:53

My mum's best friend is almost 10 years younger than her (they had similar age kids so formed a friendship)

They're still going strong almost 40 years later!

BlackBarbies · 21/03/2023 11:54

I’m 23 and one of my close mum friends is 46. One year older than my mum😂

We met at a baby session that went on for 8 weeks and just clicked. Age isn’t nothing but a number!

I have another mum friend who I made in NICU who’s early 40s, 20 years older than me😬

ghostyslovesheets · 21/03/2023 11:54

Nothing odd about it - I have a few young mum friends - in fact I am second oldest in my friend group

I was due to have a joint 30th/50th with one of them but Covid struck!

JennyJenny8675309 · 21/03/2023 11:55

Two of my closest friends are ten years younger than I am, while several others are ten to sixteen years older. My friends range from 54-80. No issues here!

Nugg · 21/03/2023 11:55

Lots! I had a "second family" with a big age gap so was at least ten years older than my middle child's friends parents and my youngest child's friends parents are often young enough to be my offspring!
We still have lots in common, have socialised and keep in touch.

cartagenagina · 21/03/2023 11:56

No, I make sure I am only friends with people my age, or up to three years either side 😂

Come on OP. What on earth are you talking about here?

Fundays12 · 21/03/2023 11:56

One of my good friends is 20 years older than me and one 10 years younger. Age has never been a factor

LaLaFlottes · 21/03/2023 11:57

I was often the younger parent, maybe not 10 years younger, but in some cases I probably was. It didn't bother me at all and I made plenty of Mum friends. Age didn't really cross my mind, as long as DD was happy and I enjoyed the company of the other parent.

However now I'm older (DD is at Uni) sometimes I am quite aware of being friends with colleagues who are younger than me. I think I am more aware of it being the older person in the situation. So I do understand perhaps where you are coming from.

I would just go with the flow though. If your DC are happy and you like this parent, you don't have anything to lose! You don't have to become best friends, just Mum friends. Enjoy the fact DC have found that they like to play and embrace it.

GemGemGemGemGemGem · 21/03/2023 11:57

So? I have friends who are 10 years younger than me and 10 years older than me! Our kids are the same age, in the same class. It really doesn't matter. I have much more in common with a 'friend' who is either older or younger, than a random person of the same age. That's why you're friends, right? Not sure why it matters really.

SittingNextToIt · 21/03/2023 11:57

I think this is a journo/student writing an essay - getting a huge load of easy material.

fruitbrewhaha · 21/03/2023 11:57

What on earth are you asking?

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/03/2023 11:57

Wow. I'm prob 10 if not 15 possibly 20 yrs older than some of the school mums in dd class

Mother Nature didn't play ball with me and was almost 44 when had dd

Also have a few friends who are 25yrs + younger and my friend and I joke that we could be her mum

Peccary · 21/03/2023 11:57

Weird to worry about it. The only person I stayed in touch with from NCT is 10 years younger than me (I was an older mum). We have similar jobs and interests so it works