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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just made a mum friend who is 10 years younger than me

250 replies

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

OP posts:
PeekAtYou · 21/03/2023 10:32

People are only friends with people the same age when they are at school. The 10 year age difference isn't a problem at all.

Mrsjayy · 21/03/2023 10:32

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

I used to be the "young mum," I was 25 when dc1 started school my mum friend was 37 the Dcs were friends. It doesn't really matter the age you get on and have the kids in common just get on with it 😃

QuintanaRoo · 21/03/2023 10:32

It really doesn’t matter at all. I have a very close small group of friends, we meet up a few times a week. Age range from mid 30s to early 60s.

BadTimesAtTheElRoyale · 21/03/2023 10:33

I met my group of friends at the school gates/baby groups. I am 17 years older than the youngest one and 11 years older than the oldest. They are my dearest friends and we are as close as ever after nearly 12 years. Age means nothing.

Comedycook · 21/03/2023 10:33

I wouldn't give it a second thought. I have a friend who I met when my Ds was a baby. She's a friend in her own right rather than a mum friend now. I think she's 9 years older than me but it's not an issue at all.

Sugarfree23 · 21/03/2023 10:33

Op don't stress over ages. Your both adults and at similar stages in life.

One of my closest friends is 7 years younger than me, but our kids are the same age. So we have lots in common kids is a general topic of conversation.
My other friends all have children much older that ours or live miles away.

Comedycook · 21/03/2023 10:34

And the older you get, the less age gaps matter. So if I was 26 and had a 16 year old mate, that would be a bit weird....but if I was 45 and had a 35 year old as a friend, it wouldn't be an issue.

Whiskers4 · 21/03/2023 10:34

I've been friends with someone who's 14 years younger than me for about 10 years. We met through work, but have DDs the same age and a joint interest. She doesn't live so close now, but we're still in touch and see eachother when we can. Obviously I don't let her, but every time we meet up for a drink or food, she insists she wants to pay (her DH is well off), so from that I assume she does like me and enjoy my company.

Ruffpuff · 21/03/2023 10:35

I was 21 having my son. Everyone at the baby groups were 29+. I developed friendships with 40 year old mums. It didn’t seem to matter.

Now I’m 25, it’s the same. I’m the youngest mum out of all the mothers in my dc’s nursery class. If I put an age limit on friendship, then I couldn’t be friends with any of them because they are all (mostly) 35+. I share the same values as them, I have a career, I went to university- so does my partner. The other parents are similar. The main difference is I don’t quite have the same financial security as I’m young in my career.

I don’t see why age would be an obstacle. Having children sort of bridges age gaps as you’re living the same lifestyle as other people who have kids.

Phoebo · 21/03/2023 10:35

Age doesn't come into it. I have friends all different ages. When I was about 19 I had a friend in her late 50s who I met at work. Age has never been a factor for me, if you like someone, you like someone 🙂

SallyWD · 21/03/2023 10:36

I can't believe you think this is an issue! I'm 48. One of my best friends is 13 years younger. I also have a friend who's 93! People are people, not numbers.
Really confused that you think this might be a problem.

Skiphopbump · 21/03/2023 10:36

I had my first early 20s. My children’s school was in quite an affluent area where most people started having children in their 30s and some 40s - many mum fitness are older than me but it doesn’t matter a bit.

Skiphopbump · 21/03/2023 10:36

Meant friends not fitness!

Skaty · 21/03/2023 10:36

Oldest mum in my daughter’s class had her baby when she was 45. Youngest had hers at 19. Doesn’t make any difference when we’re commiserating over their behaviour over a glass of wine.

Mariposa26 · 21/03/2023 10:37

I have a great friend who is 47, I’m 34. I wouldn’t let age bother you if you get on well!

mrspinkhat · 21/03/2023 10:38

When I had my first the ante natal group I was in was for new mums, we had a 16 year old an a 40 year old and everything in between. This what you get at school gates, as other PP have said, if you get on why worry?

Namechange828492 · 21/03/2023 10:38

My BFF is 5 years younger than me, i have friends a decade younger and over a decade older. It's not an issue. Although i do tell my younger friends they missed out on the heyday of s club 7🤣

Woodywasatwat · 21/03/2023 10:38

Yes but we don’t have much in common other than the children.

My third child is 2 and just before she was born we moved across the country.

Where I live now, parents all seem to be a lot younger.

I’m 43 so when I go to toddler groups, the other parents there seem to be in their early to mid 20s. My eldest child is about to turn 21, so they are closer to his age!

I’ve met a couple of nice people but they are 25/26. So If I mention music or TV references for example, they just don’t get it. Or if they do it’s a comment on how they remember their parents watching that when they were little!

I’ve also had comments when they go on nights out that “I bet you don’t want to go out anymore!” like I’m some sort of old lady in bed with a horlicks at 8pm.

Imicola · 21/03/2023 10:38

Age is pretty much irrelevant once you reach adulthood...I don't see why it would even be an issue? If you get on, you get on...if not, never mind. Similar age is not a prerequisite for getting on with someone.

Nc252525673 · 21/03/2023 10:38

Providing she's an adult, it doesn't matter. I don't know how old most of the mum's who I've made friends with are - I'd guess somewhere between 30-45, I wouldn't like to guess a specific age though. My best work pal is 15 years older than me, we both like wine and slagging off our boss.

Crimeismymiddlename · 21/03/2023 10:38

This is a none issue. Three of my good friends are ten years younger than me but at the same life stage. I don’t even ask people’s ages now.

LittleLentils · 21/03/2023 10:40

My best friend is 8 years older! It's not something I ever think about.

kittensinthekitchen · 21/03/2023 10:41

I'm late 30s and have friends from age 20 - 52.

I think it's more weird to intentionally only have friends you are the same age as. I know of a few people I went to school with who are still only friends with those we went to school with.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 21/03/2023 10:42

I have mum friends and colleagues who are all different ages that I spend time with socially. One of my colleagues iv spent time with socially is about 30 years older then me. I don't think age matters when your an adult.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 21/03/2023 10:42

I met my best friend in these circumstances. She’s about 14 years older than me. We holiday, chat most days etc etc. really wouldn’t bother me!