Just made a mum friend who is 10 years younger than me

[Skullandcrossbone]

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

I met some of my dearest friends when our children were in reception. Nearly 20 years on we are still close and there is a 15 year age gap between the youngest and oldest and it really does not matter!!

I have school mum friends probably about 10 years younger and 10 years older - I think it’s standard really

i’m good friends with younger & older mums & grandmas - like from age 30-72. Age of any friends is a non issue to me, doesn’t even come into my head, only if I like the person does.

also I think the difference of age between friends can strain the relationship because usually it means people are at different life stages. But you 2 are at the same life stage, nursery child stage. So crack on!

i'm 43. i have close friends of 31 and 52. in fact they're some of the people i enjoy spending time with the most

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THIS ⬆

I'm 69 now, but have friends in their 80's and 90's, and others in their 30's and 40's. They are people I meet through common interests, so there isn't a "You must be X-decades old to join this reading group" vibe or anything.

Once you are an adult you tend to find things in common with other adults, even though you are unlikely to have every shared interest identically - eg my children are long past school age, but my grandkids aren't.

You like each other - just be friends.

Not 'mum friends', unless they happen to have kids, but my friends' ages range between 26-65, it matters much less as you get older

One of my closest work friends is 26 years older than me and the other is 20 years older.

I don't think it's weird.
My mothers work friend was 25 years older than her, as children we loved her, she came swimming with us when we were little and she was a lovely women and lovely friend to my mam.
Age is just a number! Its the person that counts!

What on earth is the issue?!

Dh is 12 years younger than me and am barely aware of it most days.

I have mum friends 20 years younger than me, and friends who are the mums of my friends. Not really sure what is so unusual or stunning about it?

Embrace it
I had a work friend who went through years of ivf and eventually had a baby in her 40s
She struggled to make any mum friends ( she did baby classes, nct, loudsof stuff ) because she was so much older than everyone she met and they didn’t include her in anything.
Her nct group set up a WhatsApp group but didn’t invite her, all sorts
She felt really isolated, it was very sad.
Age has nothing to do with it, embrace your new friend, we all need support from friends.

Lol my friends are10/15 years younger and 10/15 years older.Itll be fine.

You sound emotionally very young.
Sure she is perfectly emotionally mature enough for you🙄

What a ridiculous post

WTF? Get over yourself.

I had my first (of 5) DC relatively young, so had lots of older ‘mum friends’ then; and the last of my DC relatively old, so then had lots of younger ones.

My friends generally are a broad mix of ages, which I like.

Me too but in my head I’m still 27 so it’s fine! 😂

It's the age of the children not that parents that matter most when it comes to mummy friends. Having other people going through the same thing that you are at the same time is the biggest bonding experience and your age doesn't come into it

My mum friends range from a 28yo who had her child when she was 25, to a 59yo who had her now-14yo son when she was 45. I think that’s pretty standard unless you live in an incredibly professional and highly urban area where almost everyone has their kids after 35, or a very unusual community (very religious, or a US military base) where almost everyone has their kids very young. I enjoy having a range of ages among my friends and we all learn a lot from each other!

This is really strange - like you think you can only be friends with people in your year at school! Life isn’t school. I have friends from dc’s schooldays, work, music groups etc. of all ages. Four of us are still friends from an ante-natal group of 22 years ago, now ranging in age from 51-67! Are you saying the youngest and oldest of us shouldn’t be friends? Make the most of your friendships, don’t over-analyse them out of existence.

I agree, it's common to gain friends based on having similarly aged children and the older everyone gets the less the issue.

I have one extremely good friend who I met when my eldest and her two youngest were in beginner swimming classes together. She's significantly more than 10 years older than me, and her husband worked out that he was in the country I grew up in on a gap year, the year I was born. We've got a lot of shared interests and I value their friendship a lot.

I've just remembered another friend has promised I'm high on her invitation list for her birthday party in a couple of months, since she discovered I also have a significant birthday then. Another 10 year age gap but you wouldn't know it.

One of my best friends is about 17 years older than me. We met when our first children were babies and we've been great friends for 15 years.

I actually think it’s nicer to have mum friends whose kids are at different stages. If you are all exact cohorts, the tendency is to (silently) compare kids with each other; even if everyone is lovely and not overtly competitive, some mothers inevitably end up feeling bad because their child is the one who is slower or smaller or whatever. When everyone’s kids are at different stages, it all matters less, and newer mothers benefit from the advice and perspective that more experience mothers can give you.

I understand why you're thinking about it. Until I had children, all my friends were people I knew from school/uni or my first job, and the colleagues I was friends with (met on a grad scheme) were fairly similar in age to me.

I had also been brought up to respect my elders, and thought anyone older than me must be more knowledgeable, wiser etc.

Children are a great leveller. I was late twenties when I had DC1 and the mums I met at baby group and got on best with ranged from mid-thirties to early forties, so up to 15 years difference. Still friends now. And 'm happy to report that my attitude to age has changed a lot since then!

I'm not sure what the problem is. My best friend is 9 years younger than me. And far more mature I might add! Our kids are the same age.