Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just made a mum friend who is 10 years younger than me

250 replies

Skullandcrossbone · 21/03/2023 10:17

Our DC are in reception class together and are similar (both have suspected ASD too) they’ve formed a sort of semi friendship/enjoy playing together.

I was chatting to the mum at drop off today and she mentioned her age and she is 10 years younger than I am. She had her DS quite young I believe.
I do like her and would like our DC to meet up outside of school, but I have no friends who are that much younger than I am.

AIBU? Has anyone else got friends/mum friends who are much younger or older than they are?

OP posts:
gogohmm · 21/03/2023 10:42

What's the issue? I found that I was shunned by the older parents and it's not very nice (was 25 when dd was born, not a child, but most mums were 10 years plus older)

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/03/2023 10:43

My best friend is 20 years older than me.

threecupsofteaminimum · 21/03/2023 10:44

Have a Biscuit

Whiskyinajar · 21/03/2023 10:44

One of my best friends is 14 years older than me. We met when her children were teenagers. She's now nearing 70 and I'm in my 50s, but friends over 20 years.

FiveShelties · 21/03/2023 10:45

Why would you think it would matter OP?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 21/03/2023 10:45

I am 50 ish and one of my best friends is 70. Why would age matter?

gemloving · 21/03/2023 10:50

In my mum world, I have a friend who is 13 years older and one that is 10 years younger and we all get on so well. Age doesn't matter as long as you enjoy the friendship xxxx

Watercoloursky · 21/03/2023 10:51

My closest local friend is 50, I'm 35. We met through shared interests - I honestly don't feel any age gap when we hang out.

RaininSummer · 21/03/2023 10:52

I have friends who are 10 plus years older and 20 plus years younger than me. I don't think it's an issue if you have shared interests.

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/03/2023 10:56

I couldn't tell you how old any of the 'school mum' friends I had are, apart from one because she was off to Vegas for her 40th and we were talking about it. I know one was quite a bit older than me only because she referenced a few times that her DD in DTs class was very much a surprise and she wasn't expecting it at her time of life, the siblings were at uni.

In my immediate friendship group the eldest is 50 this year and the youngest 40. I'm right in the middle. It makes no difference to anything at all.

TheOrigRights · 21/03/2023 10:56

Are you being unreasonable for having a friend 10 years younger than you?
Errr no.

You are being unreasonable for letting the thought that this might be something of concern to enter your mind.

I am 52. I have friends who are late 20s to very old.

Atnilpoe · 21/03/2023 10:56

My best mum friends (who are really now my closest friends full stop) are 10 and 11 years older than me. It’s not an issue

JackiePlace · 21/03/2023 10:57

Yes. My BFF is seven years younger than me and has three children and I have none.

fishonabicycle · 21/03/2023 10:57

Such a weird thing to say! I have friends ranging from early 30s to 70 ... I'm 58 now, and have had friends ranging over those sort of periods as long as I can remember.

SlashBeef · 21/03/2023 10:57

All of my mum friends bar one are older than me. I suppose I was a youngish mum when I had my first at 21 and all the mums I met at groups and things were in their thirties. Made some great friendships and now I'd say the vast majority of my female friends are at least 10 years older than me. No problem at all and I really appreciate their wealth of experience and advice when they have older kids than mine.

HarrietStyles · 21/03/2023 10:57

I have school mum friends who are 10 years older than me and some who are 10 years younger than me. Never thought that was unusual.

JackiePlace · 21/03/2023 10:58

I also have a friend who is in her mid 70s.

MiddleParking · 21/03/2023 10:58

Ooh, I dunno. Having a baby young can be catching. I wouldn’t risk it.

whattodo1975 · 21/03/2023 10:58

ah no way bin her off and refuse to engage further with her on the school run, if you stay friends she will have you doing tiktok's and have you being all woke, definitely end the friendship.

Or you know, behave like a normal person.

FortyFacedFuckers · 21/03/2023 10:58

I had my DS young and all of my friends are at least 10 years older than me, I think if you are at a similar stage of life, things in common etc why does she matter?

Findyourneutralspace · 21/03/2023 10:59

Motherhood is a great leveller and you sound like you’ve met someone on a similar wavelength. That’s a friendship to cherish. Age is just a number.

I’m mid 40s and have friends in their 20s, 60s and everywhere in between.

LakeTiticaca · 21/03/2023 10:59

I'm 60 and have friends in their 30s and 40s. If you click you click, age means nothing

Spanielsarepainless · 21/03/2023 10:59

I have friends that are ten years younger and twenty five years older, and in between. I can't see your problem.

MaryJean87 · 21/03/2023 10:59

I think it's OK, I find school mum friendships are more based around the kids/ school stuff without it being a deep friendship based on interests etc. It's nice to have someone to go for coffee with and occasional meet ups, anything more than it is a bonus.

piqueen · 21/03/2023 10:59

unless you're 22 and she is 12 it's fine to be friends.

I had my ds at 16 so I was under 20 doing the school run and the other mums left their distance when I disclosed my age. be her friend!