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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour rang the police on us!

314 replies

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 22:31

Miss busy body next door has just called the police on us! 10 minute argument and I went off upstairs to bed with DS. We’re both absolutely knackered DS isn’t sleeping so this has taking a toll on us and this is what caused the argument.

she’s rang the police on a few people on the estate before over nothing really,nothing I’d get worked up about.

police have just came banging down our doors and windows blue lights shouting police !gave us the shock of our lives left within minutes as they seen we was fine.

We feel absolutely humiliated now! AIBU to go round in the morning or should I just leave it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 23:12

I appreciate you all think she done it out of the kindness of her heart but that isn’t the case.

OP posts:
ladydimitrescu · 20/03/2023 23:13

You're right to be mortified - appalling behaviour in front of your child. Your neighbour isn't the issue.

Original poster
Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 23:14

So no one here has argued in front of their child? I’ve barely slept in 2 bloody days!

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 20/03/2023 23:14

It's possible that there's something in her past that makes her worry about argument and violence. She isn't being a busy body. I rang the police on my neighbours once. I was scared of being called a busy body but I was more scared someone was going to get seriously hurt. I was terrified for them.

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:15

Give OP a break. She is a tired new Mum. We have all been there when we have raised our voices over the slightest thing due to sleep deprivation. Ignore your neighbour OP, you know her motives better than us. I wish you a restful nights sleep x

ijustwannahaveagoodnight · 20/03/2023 23:15

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 23:12

I appreciate you all think she done it out of the kindness of her heart but that isn’t the case.

I don’t think she did it out of the kindness of her heart. I imagine she did it cos she was fucking raging at your inconsiderate behaviour

Lovelydaytomorrow · 20/03/2023 23:16

We've had two kids in the last 4 years, very very little sleep, and we've never once screamed at each other.

I've also only once lived next door to neighbours who did scream at each other. (Have lived in lots of terraced houses over the years) It's really, really not normal behaviour to do so, no matter how tired. A couple of times I was very close to calling police, but one of the couple would leave, and I'd hear the other on the phone, so wasn't too worried. If a child had been involved, I'd have 100% called them.

Jux · 20/03/2023 23:16

Your child should not be hearing you yelling at each other. Your neighbours shouldn't have to hear it either.

Stop whinging because someone cared about what might happen, especially when there's so much publicity about VAWG - she's quite rightly concerned that you and your child might be one of the next statistics(or even that you might kill your husband!). You ought to be thanking her for her concern, giving her a bunch of flowers or bottle of wine and apologising.

Keep your voices down.

Lovelydaytomorrow · 20/03/2023 23:17

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:15

Give OP a break. She is a tired new Mum. We have all been there when we have raised our voices over the slightest thing due to sleep deprivation. Ignore your neighbour OP, you know her motives better than us. I wish you a restful nights sleep x

No, I've never had a 10 minute shouting argument with my husband. Is this genuinely seen as normal to some people?

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/03/2023 23:18

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:15

Give OP a break. She is a tired new Mum. We have all been there when we have raised our voices over the slightest thing due to sleep deprivation. Ignore your neighbour OP, you know her motives better than us. I wish you a restful nights sleep x

No. Absolute bollocks we’ve all done that. OP sounds like a nightmare neighbour and the woman forced to live near her and listen to it is well within her rights to report her disruptive/abusive/antisocial behaviour to the police.

And no child has ever slept better because they witnessed their parents screeching at each other loud enough to disturb people who aren’t even in the house.

TomatoSandwiches · 20/03/2023 23:18

Doesn't matter why she did it tbh, you were making a nuisance of yourselves, if she can hear it that badly imagine your poor baby having that noise in the same house.
You need to calmly talk to your DP in the morning, you can't keep shouting at each other it's not healthy.

Original poster
Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 23:18

@Lovelydaytomorrow I don’t believe that one bit sorry.

OP posts:
PaterPower · 20/03/2023 23:19

If the neighbour has form for calling the police out then I’d bet she’s not doing it because she’s concerned for the OP.

I’m not sure I’d go around to have it out with her, but I’d certainly not be apologising / thanking her either.

Annon1234 · 20/03/2023 23:20

I thought people that don’t argue with their partners were mythical creatures but apparently they all just congregate on here. Who knew.

CindyAndTheSaltySnacks · 20/03/2023 23:20

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 22:58

I know but us shouting over having no sleep seems a bit to much. She’s rang the police on the family across the road. The couple 2 doors up. I just think it’s wrong!

How do you know this?

Iwouldlikesomecake · 20/03/2023 23:20

You don’t believe that people don’t have ten minute shouting arguments with their husbands?

I’m not sure I’ve had a ten minute shouting argument with anyone :/

GrazingSheep · 20/03/2023 23:21

Do the police make an automatic referral to social services when they are called to sort out screaming and shouting in a house with a young child?

minou123 · 20/03/2023 23:21

Annon1234 · 20/03/2023 23:20

I thought people that don’t argue with their partners were mythical creatures but apparently they all just congregate on here. Who knew.

There's a difference between arguing and screaming/shouting.

Strangely, adults can have an argument/disagreement without raising thier voices.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 20/03/2023 23:22

Were they the grammar police?

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:22

Agreed with you OP.
@ladydimitrescu congratulations on never having had a 10 minute disagreement with your DH... but in the real world/lack of sleep, these things happen.
Sorry OP that you are getting some very bitchy responses here. Not what you need at all. So much for women supporting women hey? 🙄

Redglitter · 20/03/2023 23:22

Lonelymum27 · 20/03/2023 22:58

I know but us shouting over having no sleep seems a bit to much. She’s rang the police on the family across the road. The couple 2 doors up. I just think it’s wrong!

And how on earth is she meant to know why you were shouting ffs. All she heard was a domestic argument

GrazingSheep · 20/03/2023 23:23

Were they the grammar police?

Lol.

TomatoSandwiches · 20/03/2023 23:23

Having an argument does not exclusively mean shouting at each other so loudly you disturb neighbours.
You can be angry without being loud, there is no need for it, you should look at your own behaviour first before getting arsey with your neighbour.

PatriciaHolm · 20/03/2023 23:23

Iwouldlikesomecake · 20/03/2023 23:20

You don’t believe that people don’t have ten minute shouting arguments with their husbands?

I’m not sure I’ve had a ten minute shouting argument with anyone :/

Me neither! Shouting matches just aren't part of any relationship I've ever had.

Plenty of people don't argue like that. Doesn't mean we all live in harmony, never disagreeing about anything, but plenty of us deal with disagreements without yelling at each other.

slimshadyfan · 20/03/2023 23:23

@Lovelydaytomorrow meant to tag you in my previous post. Apologies to the person I tagged accidentally.