So upset, not sure what to do

[Moonstarssunsky]

Posting here for traffic.
I'm not sure what to do over a stray cat I've been feeding etc.

I had my own cat until a few months ago when she sadly passed away. Before she passed however, a stray cat started to visit our garden and play with my cat.

The stray cat 'Tom' was so thin that we'd feed him everyday and provided shelter outside for him. We couldn't get close enough to get him into a cat carrier to take him to the vets.
After our Molly died, Tom became more confident with us and started to come into the house and stay overnight.

He put on weight and started to look healthy again. It was still difficult though trying to entice him into a cat carrier in order to check if he was chipped after all. He.was'nt neutered though, hence why we presumed he wasn't chipped either.
I recently borrowed a different kind of carrier to the one we already had, in the hope that it'd be easier to get Tom into it. Just to say, he's not the type of cat you can pick up easily.

Fast forward to yesterday, I was looking out the window and saw a young man walking past my house carrying Tom tightly in his arms. I ran out to speak to the man and saw that Tom was struggling to get free and was very distressed.
The man claimed that Tom was his cat and that he was taking him home as he hadn't seen him for some time.

I explained that we'd been caring for Tom and were gaining his confidence in us and that we'd love to keep him and get him checked and neutered at the vets.

The man was adamant however that Tom was his family pet, but admitted that he'd not been chipped. He said that his family were going to chip the cat immediately, and added that he'd make Tom into an indoor cat just so that he doesn't try to come back to me and my family.
The man let slip his house number (which was much further down the road) and hurried off with the cat still distressed.

I'm angry at myself for not trying to get Tom out of his arms, but I was concerned about repercussions if I did so. I'm also angry with myself for not ensuring we'd taken Tom to the vets sooner. I've no excuses for that, other than I was trying to gain his trust and needed the right carrier along with help from someone else to force him into the carrier if necessary.
A while after Tom was taken, my Dd and I visited the house where he's at and were told basically to go away (not very politely) once again, and that they'd be keeping the cat inside from now on.

I don't know what to do now. I'd love to offer money for Tom but I don't know whether to leave it for a while, as i.dont want to push things with this family.

They also have a few other cats (according to the going man) and so now I'm so upset that Tom is living with other pets and isn't happy there. If he was he wouldn't have left.
Sorry for rambling.

Based on some of the later posts about ‘wherewithal’, I fear this has been a slightly disingenuous thread. And OP, I’m not sure why you keep coming back to it. It’s your thread, obviously, but you seem to be struggling with what 95% of posters have said, so why come back and out yourself through it?

Why do people always assume that if a cat appears outside their house it must be lost, distressed, need feeding, need taking to a vet etc? Personally I wouldn't have done anything. It's not my cat. If you ignore them they just go somewhere else. It seems more about people wanting to have control and ownership of things that don't belong to them.

There's a difference between a cat occasionally being in the garden and one that's there most of the time who looks unhealthily thin or unkempt.
I see many cats in my garden and think nothing of it. They're clearly well looked after, neighbourhood cats. I don't assume they're strays. However, once there was a very thin cat who seemed to be permanently living under a hedge in my garden. She never went anywhere else. She clearly didn't have a home (or had run away, been abandoned). I put posters around the neighbourhood and took it to the vets to see if there was a microchip. Try as I might, I found no evidence of an owner. I adopted her and she became such a loving companion. I'm so pleased I gave her so much comfort and love during her final 3 years of life.
I think there's 9ften a very obvious difference between a cat who's just hanging out in your garden to one who doesn't have a home. And yes some cats do have homes but run away because they're unhappy there.

I don’t. But I can tell the difference between a well looked after pet and one that is either abandoned or lost.
The notion that all cats are much loved family pets, and we mustn’t feed, being pedalled on here is ridiculous, you obviously need to make efforts to locate the owner in case the animal is lost, but I would absolutely feed an animal that looked malnourished and displayed other behaviours to indicate it didn’t have a home, until I knew otherwise.

Agree with you both. For whatever reason the cat was choosing not to go home. The op fed him and kept him alive.

No need for the plethora of hysterical responses!

I would have fed the cat until I had gained his trust. You didn’t deserve the abuse you have got, I totally agree.

Any sign of Tom yet? If he does come back, give him up to an animal shelter and let them deal with it. You can register an interest in adopting him if they put him up for rehoming.

What utter bollocks.

Fortunatly most people have more compassion. I have taken cats to be checked for a chip because they have been hanging around for a while with no sign of an owner which has led to them being reunited with their family. I would never ever ignore a cat in need!

Good for yourself.

Never spoke to anyone like that in my life. On here or anywhere so no idea why you’re addressing that at me.

I would have fed the cat until I had gained his trust.

ah so you’re another that would have spent weeks/months on a “malnourished” cat rather then getting them urgent vet help.

makes sense now

If the op had taken the cat to a vet with concerns about it being hungry and a stray (which is what should have happened), a lack of microchip and lack of neutering combined with it being thin would have meant the vet calling a local cat rescue and the original owner never getting it back.

Yes, it would annoy me if someone else fed my cat but mine is chipped and spayed and well looked after, and I don't need to lock her in to stop her from leaving. So I don't understand why people are so compelled to defend the original owner. Going to the house to ask for the cat was weird but imo it's a shame they said no.

I would have fed the cat until I had gained his trust.

ah so you’re another that would have spent weeks/months on a “malnourished” cat rather then getting them urgent vet help.

And how do you suggest you get a cat to the vets without being able to get near it, which presumably is what that poster is meaning by 'gaining his trust'.
I don't know many cats that willingly hop in my car on command when I need to get them to the vets.

Probably because a lot posters have been unnecessarily nasty to someone that was acting out of kindness and showing concern for another living creature.
People can disagree without being an arse about it.

As has been said many times, by multiple people on the thread, cats protection/local cat charities/rspca do that exact thing all the time so would have been able to advise or do it. Had the OP bothered to ask anyone, even her own cats vet, for advise.

You don’t leave a “malnourished” animal outside for extended periods. You get them help.

Exactly! Bother is just behaving like a dick now.

I wonder if she has ever tried to get Cat's Protection involved because they're notorious for refusing!! Wouldn't go near them - local rescues are far more caring and proactive ime. Not knocking the actual work they do - have a rescue cat from them myself - but they're not always willing to help.

As a cat 'slave' I know all the local cats and would know if a 'stranger' was about.

I'd much rather feed a cat I was concerned about while trying to get help for it, but clearly some here would sooner let it starve.

As has been said many times, by multiple people on the thread, cats protection/local cat charities/rspca do that exact thing all the time so would have been able to advise or do it. Had the OP bothered to ask anyone, even her own cats vet, for advise.

You don’t leave a “malnourished” animal outside for extended periods. You get them help.

Have you ever tried reporting animal neglect or abuse to the RSPCA or cats protection lately ? or any other animal charities for that matter. RSPCA are pretty much useless, same of CP and animal charities are run by volunteers that are over subscribed at the moment.
The op did what she thought best at the time, which was an act of kindness. There is no need for the absolute shower of cunts on this thread that have gleefully rounded up on her and put the boot in.
I have avoided engaging with it up to now, because this thread is not about the rights and wrongs of what she did, it's purely about some sad little twats winning an argument on the internet.
And on that note I will not be engaging any further.

My apologies, I referred to the wrong person. I was referring to beginnings not you.

@Imtryingnottobother I wholeheartedly agree with you.

@Imtryingnottobother I agree too about the c's but your post is probably going to get deleted as mine did, and I didn't even use the word.

I haven't remotely changed my mind regarding Tuesdays.

Let them tell the teacher then 😂

Yes. I have. As I’ve said on the thread already…if you’re going to attack people then perhaps read what they’ve said first

That you can’t engage with people without name calling and insulting says it all about you.

I wonder if she has ever tried to get Cat's Protection involved because they're notorious for refusing!! Wouldn't go near them - local rescues are far more caring and proactive ime. Not knocking the actual work they do - have a rescue cat from them myself - but they're not always willing to help.

Exactly. The idea that the RSPCA or CP are going to bob down and spend the day trying to catch a cat to scan it for a microchip is out of an Enid Blyton novel. They‘ll give you a cat trap (at a cost) and tell you to do it yourself, which might take anywhere between 1 day and infinity to get a cat into. The op did what you’d probably end up doing anyway after seeking their assistance.

Again 😂

the comments I find the most disgusting are from those who've 'made sure I know that 'it's 100% my fault that the cat will be kept inside indefinitely'

@Moonstarssunsky
What would you do if your cat had disappeared, you then found that someone had been feeding it, and letting it into their house etc. You got it home, and then that person came and knocked on your door, and said they would like your cat, and can they have it?

Surely you’d be on high alert that someone in the neighbourhood had designs on your cat, and you’d worry about letting him out incase that person took him??

Indeed! I called the RSPCA and CP about the stray we had living in our garden. They both said they don't deal with strays. I ended up adopting the cat (which both the cat and I were very happy about).

As far as I am aware, it is illegal not to get your dog chipped. I'm not sure about cats.

Maybe when you found the cat he had been lost for a little while and that was why he looked skinny. If it is that person's cat, I don't think you can do much about it.