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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not make dinner?

137 replies

Gingersay · 19/03/2023 15:30

Would IBU if I didn't make my usually Sunday roast today due to lack any recognition from my DC or DH for Mother's day? I'm toying between making it and plating mine up and just leaving them to fend for themselves or just not making anything.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 15:31

Best option- take yourself out for food and don't come back til after bedtime.

Phonemonkey2023 · 19/03/2023 15:33

You make a roast every week? Do you want to be my mother?

Whatisthisanyidea · 19/03/2023 15:33

I agree - go and find a chippy! Sit in the car - drive somewhere peaceful!

Just tell DH ‘don’t wait you’ see you later. X

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

MichelleScarn · 19/03/2023 15:34

Absolutely no roast making! Am hoping they're taking you somewhere nice as a surprise...

Anewuser · 19/03/2023 15:37

Really is no excuse to remember.

I’d announce that since I’ve been forgotten then I’m off out for dinner. Or if you can’t/ don’t want to go out, order a food delivery just for you.

They can sort themselves out.

Silentbarking · 19/03/2023 15:37

I’d treat myself, order some nice food for myself and read a good book/watch favourite film. I really hope they surprise you later though.

dollypartin · 19/03/2023 15:38

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

Yep do this. Enjoy your dinner!

heldinadream · 19/03/2023 15:38

Style it out OP.

Not make dinner?
VioletLemon · 19/03/2023 15:47

Go out somewhere and don't return until later and don't answer your phone. Next round of birthdays, do nothing.

Mythicalcreatures · 19/03/2023 15:49

I'd order a takeaway and bottle of wine just for me and tell them why

callthataspade · 19/03/2023 15:51

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

I agree. Don't go passive aggressive.

Tell them you're upset and why

And no don't make them fucking anything!

Do something nice for you this evening.

MyOtherUsernameIsDave · 19/03/2023 15:51

Just don’t make anything. Making it and plating your own won’t help you. Go out.

MajorCarolDanvers · 19/03/2023 15:52

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

Totally agree with this.

ColdHandsHotHead · 19/03/2023 15:53

"Since it's mother's day and you've done nothing for me, I'm doing nothing for you. Make your own dinner.'

SD1978 · 19/03/2023 15:53

I agree with @MunchMonster - I do t agree with passive aggressive. They've upset you and let you down. They should be told that. Absolutely take yourself out later and spend time with yourself. But they should know they've been selfish and a bit shit also.

BellaJuno · 19/03/2023 15:54

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

I agree with this. Your present to yourself, in the absence of one from your children, is the afternoon off cooking.

amiold · 19/03/2023 15:55

How old are dc?

I wouldn't make anything and when they ask what's for tea / dinner just say "oh I thought you'd be making mine as it's Mother's Day" and act genuinely confused.

carriedout · 19/03/2023 15:57

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

Another agreeing with this, be direct and honest.

Sorry they have not got anything for you.

Rosesroof · 19/03/2023 15:57

I'm in the same situation. Took my 5 YO out for a nice lunch just the two of us.

TidyDancer · 19/03/2023 16:00

How old are the DCs? If they are secondary age (or older) then I would absolutely fuck off out of the house and let everyone fend for themselves. If they are very young then DH should've helped them and therefore he can take care of them while you go out. If they are older then they should be ashamed and may learn a lesson from this.

Did you not even get a card?

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 16:01

YANBU for not cooking whenever you don't want to, & for whatever reason.

Why do you need to ask? Are you so used to being taken for granted that it feels transgressive to stop providing skivvy services? is your H incapable of cooking?

Timshortforthalia · 19/03/2023 16:02

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

Very well said.

And PA responses are always presented as such clever way of dealing with a situation.

diddl · 19/03/2023 16:05

What usually happens Op?

Do they usually cook on MD?

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/03/2023 16:13

Quite refreshing replies!

usually there would be at least one poster telling op that of course she still needs to feed her family!! She’s a mother and mothers make sacrifices and her needs/wants are irrelevant!