Page 6 | Not make dinner?

Gingersay · 2023-03-19T15:30:52+00:00

Would IBU if I didn't make my usually Sunday roast today due to lack any recognition from my DC or DH for Mother's day? I'm toying between making it and plating mine up and just leaving them to fend for themselves or just not making anything.

Madbadanddangeroustoo · 19/03/2023 23:09

Mother's day seems to be a real issue for a lot of people. I have had a rule in my family since the kids were young that no one is to buy me anything. It has to be made by them. Hand made card, small posy, a cake breakfast in bed etc. One of them carved a perfume bottle out of a bit of scrap wood and decorated it with felt pen, all I could do was check he had all his fingers and treasure it. Never cook on that day ever. Make a new family tradition,

Minimummonday · 19/03/2023 23:18

@Madbadanddangeroustoo whats that got to do with the price of fish? Op feels unappreciated and unsupported. How does you saying you got lovely homemade presents help?

MysteryBelle · 20/03/2023 00:14

Gingersay · 19/03/2023 20:11

So dh came in with flowers and chocolates although this was after my eldest had a call from my niece asking what we did for Mother's day - cue lots of tears and apologising. I explained how I was hurt and felt unappreciated and it wasn't about stuff. They both made cards and wrote big apologies. DH has gone to get a chippy and I've ordered a big chore rota board from amazon - changes being made!!

Thanks everyone for not making me feel like I was being petty and making me realise that I do way too much.

Happy Mother's day ladies!

I must say the dog I never wanted never left my side today - least he knew!!

Love this update. Your family made it up to you, well done to them and to you for telling them how it made you feel!

Magenta82 · 20/03/2023 07:27

Madbadanddangeroustoo · 19/03/2023 23:09

Mother's day seems to be a real issue for a lot of people. I have had a rule in my family since the kids were young that no one is to buy me anything. It has to be made by them. Hand made card, small posy, a cake breakfast in bed etc. One of them carved a perfume bottle out of a bit of scrap wood and decorated it with felt pen, all I could do was check he had all his fingers and treasure it. Never cook on that day ever. Make a new family tradition,

So the OP is upset because her children didn't acknowledge mother's day (until their cousin reminded them).

You had exactly the mother's day you wanted. Lucky you.

Do you have any advice on how this was achieved? Did someone remind them? Did they make the card at school? Did their dad help? Did you raise perfect children who always remember important dates and do exactly the right thing?

piedbeauty · 20/03/2023 07:53

iaapap · 19/03/2023 19:40

I’d do the dinner and serve it.

then I’d ask: do any of you appreciate what I do - as it’s Mother’s Day and I’ve had to be your slave as usual?

This is terrible advice. Really martyr-ish and passive aggressive. Don't do this.

diddl · 20/03/2023 08:37

Where you happy with chips Op?

I'd rather they cooked the planned roast!

Finalstar · 20/03/2023 13:48

Minimummonday · 19/03/2023 21:10

What a horrible day Mothers’ Day has turned in to. So many threads where people feel let down, upset, taken for granted. I barely remember it as a thing when I was growing up, no cards made at school etc, I can’t remember buying a thing for my mother. And now, it’s this.

@midsomermurderess so women feel taken for granted = mothers shouldn’t have deigned to have a day devoted to them, it’s their fault. Righto.

I'm in my 40s and remember making Mother's Day cards at primary school. And I definitely remember going round to my Nan's with Mum to take her flowers - and my Dad cooking the roast so that Mum could sit with her feet up.

Granted I don't think it was as commercialised as it is now, but it was a 'thing' when I was little - unless you are much older than me @midsomermurderess?

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 20/03/2023 18:11

It’s not a memory test - if you wanted to do something, you should have been involved planning it earlier in the week. ‘Let’s do this! I’m doing that!’

As it is, be the bigger person, let it go, get on and enjoy the weekend how you like.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 20/03/2023 19:11

MunchMonster · 19/03/2023 15:34

Tell them directly that you would have liked them to do something for you for Mothers day and since they haven't you don't feel like cooking. Ask them to sort dinner.

You'll get lots of advice on here telling you to do something passive aggressive but I think that sets a really bad example. It's important to communicate your needs.

I'm sorry they didn't do anything for you.

👍

GoodChat · 20/03/2023 19:22

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 20/03/2023 18:11

It’s not a memory test - if you wanted to do something, you should have been involved planning it earlier in the week. ‘Let’s do this! I’m doing that!’

As it is, be the bigger person, let it go, get on and enjoy the weekend how you like.

It's not a memory test. There's been big signs up everywhere for weeks. It'd be mentioned at school and work.

Butternutscotch · 20/03/2023 19:46

Haha why even bother making it ?
I would not make it at all and say that is my time off !
Actually I do it a lot lately. No guilty at all.

Macinae · 20/03/2023 21:39

I'm glad there was recognition that they messed up and more importantly it sounds like this opened up a wider discussion about sharing the load day to day.