Not make dinner?

[Gingersay]

Would IBU if I didn't make my usually Sunday roast today due to lack any recognition from my DC or DH for Mother's day? I'm toying between making it and plating mine up and just leaving them to fend for themselves or just not making anything.

As old as it takes. Have just comforted a very upset friend who’s had a difficult year health wise and whose 15 year old forgot Mothers’ Day. Her DH’s attitude was ‘what do you want me to do about it, she’s old enough to sort it herself’. Clearly not, and it sends a clear message that neither of them care enough to make sure even a small token of appreciation was there. It’s not rocket science - they’re supposed to love you.

My DCs, both adults, have done nothing. DD texted to say she didn’t realise it was Mother’s Day today (admittedly she’s no got any DCs), DS has two DCs, I presume he’s aware but apparently I don’t count 😵‍💫
Somewhat pissed off tbh.

Your DH needs to have a word with your kids about this. It shouldn't be your job all the time.

Your DH needs to explain why not making an effort for you was thoughtless and hurt your feelings. Your kids need to understand that if we want to grow up to be mature, considerate people we set aside time and energy to look after the people in our lives and make them feel loved. It doesn't have to be about money- even remembering a card and writing a thoughtful note makes a huge difference.

Maybe your Dh should ask them how they would feel if everyone in the house ignored their birthday? How they would feel with no special presents, cake or meal, or even a hug and a 'happy birthday'? That might help them empathize with you and understand why it is hurtful behaviour.

This.

Don’t make it and go to the cinema

What are they doing in their rooms? At their ages they should be out doing something on the weekend. You should have told them you were going out as you want to spend Mother's Day with them as it matters to you even if it doesn't to them.

YANBU.

I lost my Mum at Christmas so today has been hard as it's the first one without her.

As someone who is missing their Mum today, please have a Happy Mother's Day and some virtual from me.

Coming to this a bit late, but I would have made a bit of a joke of it and told DH that he was taking everyone out for dinner as a "surprise".

There's no point driving somewhere and sitting in the car. You'll be miserable and it will be awkward for your kids.

Absolutely not,until the kids can show you they appreciate everything you do for them as a mother then you should stop acting like one!.
At their age you should have got breakfast in bed at least,dinner prepared by them and housework done.

Order yourself your favourite takeaway

We are on our way home from a long weekend away. DH didn’t prompt the dc and organised nothing . We’re away so it’s hotel breakfast etc but I’m still pissed off he didn’t prompt them. He will get the same from me for Father’s Day but I hate what this says to our DC. Youngest felt guilty and got me some sweets in the service station which was at least showing some thought

OH OP that's hard....I'm totally with you, all a bit sad really...your kids are not toddlers 😞

I hope you got yourself a takeaway

That sounds like heaven.

OP tell them you are pissed off. I did this one year when my birthday seemed to be an afterthought and things massively improved on that front (tbh I did more than tell them... I was fucking raging).

I was given a homemade card from my 19 y/o son which is properly lovely and made me cry. We had only gone up to see him to take the girl teen to a uni open day so I was impressed he had:
a. remembered and
b. remembered that I absolutely adore homemade cards and his are always very funny.

However the teen girl has apparently made my card and "its upstairs for god's sake" but it is past 6pm and no sign of it. She can walk to her next uni visit, which is 186 miles away and will take 3 days according to google.

@tachetastic

and? Maybe it would do the kids good to feel a bit awkward, might make them do better next year

I'm happy to cook (radio on), so when DS asked what he could do to help I delegated the weekly meal planner job to him, and bins - not just taking them out, but rounding them up from the house sorting the rubbish. I hate both these jobs. I think he should be doing these anyway. Time for change!

Lone parent here, so it was on my kids (13 and 24 - not at home) to be considerate. They've been OK.
I've stayed off most social media and have talked to my sister instead (we don't have our own Mum).

Honestly, you don't need to have children to be aware of Mothers Day, it's been advertised on TV, social media and in stores for weeks. Don't make excuses for daughter's lack of thought, it's sheer laziness. So many threads today are pure depressing - selfish, lazy children growing into selfish, lazy adults and mothers who feel bad for being upser that no one gives a toss while saying "I'd be happy with a 29p card, a £1 bar of choc or whatever.

Raise your standards women of MN!

I'm a childless adult and they only place I've seen the date is from promotional emails. If I had opted out of marketing emails I could have missed the date too. I don't watch TV. Haven't seen any adverts on social media I follow (maybe ads you've seen are targeted). Haven't seen any signs in stores I've visited. It would have been very easy to miss the date.

Really want to know the outcome here @Gingersay Are they suitably ashamed?

What did you end up doing, OP? I hope you didn’t make them food.

YANBU - my two are 11 and 13 too and their dad took them into town to buy cards and gifts. However, I also got home made drawings from both and if dh hadn’t taken them, they would have made an effort to go to a local shop. They also acknowledged the day which costs nothing and makes you feel appreciated. They have no excuse at that age!

Hope you went out and left them all to it.

Defo no roast making

So many threads today are pure depressing - selfish, lazy children growing into selfish, lazy adults and mothers who feel bad for being upser that no one gives a toss while saying "I'd be happy with a 29p card, a £1 bar of choc or whatever.

Raise your standards women of MN!
I agree about selfish lazy children growing into selfish lazy adults.
Where there's no appreciation it's not surprising that people feel upset and there's definitely some of those threads. The partners/children seem to be ungrateful and not very appreciative all year as well so it will sting.

There are, however, post after posts of people who equate appreciation with being bought lots of things, having the right meal booked, the present they demanded, the gift/treat that they tell DH in advance they expect. If they wish to equate love, care and appreciation with money then that's up to them, but it doesn't mean they have higher standards or they're doing womankind a favour.

I'm fed up with mothers who ARE happy with a hand made card, acts of kindness and token gifts being made out to be downtrodden, martyrs, sniveling fools with no standards who need to buy into the hallmark day shit and demand 'better' presents. Some of us are genuinely quite happy and content with token and low key celebrations from our children and husbands who show appreciation year round, so don't need to be annoyed that we've got some daffs over a big bouquet from the florist.

I agree. You get so much of that on here. It's so petty and silly. Just talk to people