To cut DHs night out short and ask him to come home?

[TheGumptionTheGall]

So DH went out tonight. He is only at the pub a few streets away, seeing a live band
He goes out maybe once or twice a week. In the days since then our 9 month old DS has been diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics. He is better now than he was but still coughing a lot and very unsettled at night.

DH went out at 6 tonight. When he left both kids were happily having dinner (we also have a 4 year old) and baby went to sleep fine at 7, but at around 8 he woke up coughing and crying and since then has cried every time he's put down. Or he'll stay asleep but then start coughing and wake himself up. I'm currently sat on the sofa holding him upright as he sleeps as that's the only position he'll stay asleep in. I haven't had a chance to properly tidy/clean up after dinner (I should say DH normally does this as I do all of the cooking), have a shower, or even consider going to bed myself yet. I suppose some might say just put DS in his cot and get on with it but as he's unsettled because he's poorly I feel that's a little cruel. I am already pretty exhausted as DS was very unsettled last night too and I dealt with 90% of the wakings, as I normally do (DS is breastfed and DH sleeps in a separate room as he snores terribly, so baby is in with me). I asked DH when he'd be home and he said 'probably midnight/1am'. I DO NOT want to be staying up that late.

AIBU to ask him to come home a little earlier, just to help out? I should say he doesn't drink so no worries about him looking after DS whilst drunk. He would come home if asked but part of me feels bad as he's been wanting to see this band for weeks. But on the other hand I'm exhausted, on my own with a 4 year old (albeit she's asleep) and a poorly baby and need to get some sleep? Sometimes I feel like I get overwhelmed too easily and just need to suck it up.

I’d suck it up but I would expect him to suck it up if I had a night out planned too.

I wouldn’t. If my partner has had a broken night’s sleep and now couldn’t sleep at all because the baby needed to be held, I’d want to be home to ensure we both got some sleep, no one fell asleep holding the baby, and everything was OK. There are a million nights out; there’s one partner and one baby.

I’d have left the cleaning and he can take over a bit today instead- including the cleaning of the baby feels a bit better.

If

Exactly. I really don't get the suck it up mummy martyrs either - why??? They are his kids too - why is their bar so low in expecting the father to do his share?

Can’t you ever find anything more useful to contribute to a thread than this asinine drivel?

If my night out was interrupted by this I wouldn’t be impressed at all. But then going out twice a week is also taking the piss with young children.

I don’t really understand the drama here. Leave the cleaning, have a hot shower which makes the bathroom steamy and sit in the room with ds for a while to help his chest. Then go to bed sitting up. When DH gets home, agree how you’ll split the rest of the night with him. If you wanted company / hand hold that’s a different issue and fair enough but why should he come home when you’re presumably an adult without any additional needs?

Seems very odd to me that people think just getting on with things makes a person a martyr.

At least they showed support instead of the numerous posters who didn't read the posts properly and banged on about how OP doesn't need to worry about the cleaning!

I hope you managed to get some sleep OP. It's a tough one as it was a pre-arranged night out (personally I would have asked him to come home after band) but honestly as he goes out twice a week maybe worth just agreeing with him that when you need extra help he should come home. Given the frequency he goes out and the frequency of colds / coughs / nightmares etc. disturbing young children's sleep it can't be you dealing with this on your own all the time. A little bit of flexibility is all that's needed here I think x

How is your little one today?

The crying when put down and only sleeping upright are possible indications of a middle ear infection. This may require different antibiotics then the one currently prescribed.

Best of luck!

It’s not supportive if it’s insincere. It’s not supportive if you copy/paste the same stock phrase on every. single. thread. regardless of the subject matter.

How did you manage to miss the clear statement that he doesn't drink?

Fucks sake some posters really don't fucking read do they? Op had already said

He goes out once or twice a week, this ain't some special night out he's "looked forward to for weeks" or huge concert at the O2 it's the local pub.

He doesn't drink so will be sober

At least read OP's posts before slagging her off.

OP ignore the "I did it all so you should too" cunts in future when you post for help. Hope you get spoiled today for Mothers Day.

Why is it OK for OP to be sleep deprived for two nights running, but not OK for her DH to sleep deprived for one night?

Can’t you ever find anything more useful to contribute to a thread than this asinine drivel?

😂😂😂

Especially ignore @Onnabugeisha she pops up everywhere with a mission to make mums feel bad.

I hope your baby starts to feel better soon, tiredness is so awful when it takes over. I wouldn't be worried about the cleaning as that can be done this morning, but you need sleep so he should have come home early to allow that. I actually think going out twice a week when you have young children is really selfish, I strongly suspect that you don't do the same.

Why wouldn't she have had time? She was stuck sitting on the sofa with a sleeping/coughing baby.

I'm sorry but people on here should be ashamed of themselves, OP is struggling and you're being bitchy AF!!!
OP hope you manage to get rest x

Did he know how poorly baby was? I’m thinking my DH wouldn’t have gone out or if he did he would have come back earlier.

hope you got some sleep OP.

I would have sent a message saying I’m really struggling with ds I can’t sleep can you come home as soon as you can please I’d really appreciate some support.
Also in future no one leave the house in the evening until washing up done etc. you don’t get to just miss that bit and skip off. And op maybe you can become a bit more sociable and develop some interests outside the home? It’s important.

Who put 50p in the dickhead?

This may be my favourite MN phrase ever.

How do you know it's insincere? If I read a bereavement post on Facebook I just write something like I'm sorry for your loss every time. It's very sincere but I just want to show support.

Just ignore Onnabugeisha. They're trying to get a rise out of you. As Pyongyang said, they're full of the self importance of having a big job and making all the cash. They'll be asking in a minute why you don't work full time and how difficult it must be for your husband with all the stress of being the main breadwinner.