DH organized nothing for tomorrow

[Nomothersdayforme]

Just found out DH has not organised anything for tomorrow. He did this once before but it was just as Covid hit so I wasn’t too upset, hard to go into shops etc and Amazon deliveries all over the place. I’d mentioned something I’d like to him and DD. DS is too little to know. DD tried to advise DH on this and they ordered something totally awful online last week. DD let slip and I told her that maybe she and DH might want to swap it as she’d misinterpreted what I’d said… Said something to DH now about looking forward to what they’d chosen as an alternative once the misunderstanding had been cleared up and he told me they hadn’t got anything else. DD now crying as DH didn’t sort anything else. She is also too young to go to shops alone.

AIBU to think DH is crap? I always get him ace presents and bought gifts and cards for both my DM and his!

I haven’t really read through the thread cos I think it’s ridiculous and can’t be arsed but I’ve had a glass of wine so am replying.

Be gracious . Fucking hell. A handmade card and a bunch of daffodils and I’d be as happy as a pig in shit.

Yeah that time mum brought up an allergy after several posts just saying it was unsuitable and basically horrible on MN as she was getting her arse handed to her hah.

This 100%

I appreciate not everyone does M Day the same but we’ve always (until now) made it a thing. He will be expecting something nice on Father’s Day. Might not get it now tho!

If he usually makes an effort then it’s obvious just a miscommunication and just drop it and enjoy the day.

If there’s something you desperately want then just buy it yourself.

Well it wasn't him that's for sure what decent parent sets there child up to fail? It would take a split second to steer the child in a correct direction he was lazy and couldn't be bothered

You sound ungrateful, you should have gracefully accepted the gift which to be fair you shouldn't have seen until tomorrow anyway so shouldn't have the chance to return. I'd hate to buy for someone like you. Complete control freak, "you must surprise me and buy me something nice" "I don't like what you've chosen, you must return it" "omg you haven't bought me something else, you awful people" 🙄.

My kids made me cards and some paper flowers at school, I'm made up with them. I don't want a gift off amazon, I want something my children have gone to the effort to make and the thoughtful messages they both wrote. It's not about getting "stuff" you are completely missing the point (if there really is one beyond a Clinton holiday if you aren't religious).

Yes because I'm not an ungrateful twat.

Of course it's unsuitable if your allergic and horrible to think no-one has remembered

Sure ;)

Wow you sound even worse after your update 🤣

i also buy lovely gifts for people in my life but i do it because i love them and not bevause i then expect the same in return.

you might think people are ‘settling for scraps’ but believe it or not most mature people don’t equate gifts with love, if you need to material items from
your husband/kids to feel valued then i feel sad for you but mostly for your kids as they wont ever satisfy you.

Wow! Some people here really are martyrs. You’d be happy with a £1 bunch of daffs at the last minute? Really?! When you always put time and effort into everyone else’s gifts? And spend your life making life nice and cozy for your DCs?
Yes I'd be happy with some daffs and a card and I aim to be a nice mum to my children because I chose to have children.

They aren't obliged to buy me what I demand on mother's day to prove their gratitude for how hard I work and how I spend my life making their life nice and cozy. What a miserable outlook.

Yeah that time mum brought up an allergy after several posts just saying it was unsuitable and basically horrible on MN as she was getting her arse handed to her hah.

Quite convenient timing 🤔

You made your daughter cry over getting you the wrong colour scarf for Mother’s Day??

Mother’s Day tomorrow, but your gratitude is severely lacking and all I can think of is your poor DH and DC

you come across as so self absorbed and spoilt.

The best things in life are free OP; just try and be grateful for all you have

Why do you HAVE to have anything for Mother's Day beyond something homemade or a nice gesture?

Why do you measure love in terms of the ability to buy and appropriate present? Why must you have a present at all? And why, if it's not to your standards, do you throw it back ungraciously?

DH had an issue with birthdays and got ridiculously upset at not getting the exact right thing. He didn't want anything / need anything and I'd spend hours stressing and trying to find the perfect gift but could never find it. It's lead to numerous arguments over the years.

I had to point out that equating love with bought gifts and then judging the present as a representation of that love was really really unhealthy. It goes back to massive child hood insecurity and his brother being the golden child and DH being the forgotten overlooked child.

Unpick this.

This isn't about a gift. This is really about other insecurities / deeper issues which you are not properly addressing.

The fact you have taken it out on your child like a spoilt brat speaks volumes.

She's still got time. She can get up early and draw you a lovely picture to take pride if place in the fridge. Those are the kind of mothers day gifts you keep forever & look back at in years to come. I realise you are wanting something more elaborate/expensive.

You are being unreasonable to have to come crying to MN about something you could just sort out with a few kind well-chosen words in your family.
FFS.

Yes, totally. But we're not martyrs, we're parents.

I am grateful for any scrap I am thrown. I love every gift I am given and I celebrate them, and I make sure my kids know that I love them, no matter what they are.

If you want something specific, buy it yourself or tell DH you want it for your birthday or anniversary.

Mothers Day is really about the kids, not you. Sorry. Maybe you didn't get the memo.

It’s very simple, you do nothing moving forward for Father’s Day, his birthday, or for his mother on mothers day

Hint. That's what you do with gifts from your kids.

You don't tell the gift giver they got it wrong.

OP, your sudden revelation that it's an allergy issue just doesn't make sense.

1. Unless you and DH have serious relationship issues, it's more than just an oversight/laziness to buy a gift for someone you love which could make them unwell.
2. If your DD is young enough not to be aware of the allergy, it would make even less sense to reject the present in advance because she'd apparently "misinterpreted" the brief. What's there to misinterpret?
3. You said if you hadn't rejected it, you'd have been stuck wearing it. But if you were allergic to the metal, how could you be? You'd have had to speak to DH after the fact and asked him to exchange it.

Good old classic MN, kicking the OP. This isn't the place to come to for support when your feeling down. It should be called bitchfest net. Just get dh a card in future. You will feel better for lowering your bar re effort and expectations.

Also flog yourself with poison ivy because 99% of mn are delighted to clean skid marks on MD. Unless your self flaggelating yourself, your doing it wrong.

I love how people post on these threads saying, “do the same to him on Father’s Day!” Not one man I know would give a shit what they got or didn’t get for Father’s Day!

Ds made me a card at cubs. With glitter. I hate glitter. It had all his fav things on, not mine.

I couldn't give a chuff a getting £1 flowers. I'd prefer that to a £40 bunch.

We don't do mothers or father's Day.

I pity the people who buy into it rather being wise enough to mutually agree to remove the bullshit of it from your lives. We don't do valentine's, mothers day or father's day. It's less stressful and less setting up for disappointment and needless stress.

People can't afford to do the ritual buying of pointless shit they don't need. So why do it

DS1 took himself off to the shop today to get a Mother's day gift. Came home :
DS: what's you favourite chocolat
Me: Dairy milk with dime pieces
DS: Oh......are you sure it's not fruit and nut?

I am very much looking forward to my bar of fruit and nut tomorrow. A gift organised solely by him and paid for with his pocket money.