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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is someone is very obese

103 replies

Janegoldberg · 18/03/2023 16:23

As in 23 stone and they shuffle when they walk, get breathe less, breathe heavy
wokld you want to be friends with them?

OP posts:
Parroteets · 18/03/2023 16:24

I am friends with someone like that.

name985 · 18/03/2023 16:24

No

Oysterbabe · 18/03/2023 16:24

Yes.
I have a friend who fits that description and she's a lovely person.

HappyScotch · 18/03/2023 16:25

well it’d make it hard to do anything with them

GandhiDeclaredWarOnYou · 18/03/2023 16:25

Yes, and I am. Lovely person, very well read and articulate. We have great chats.

blumppump · 18/03/2023 16:26

Yes of course. I'm interested in the sort of person they are inside, are they a nice person, do we laugh at the same things, are they supportive and positive.

None of that has anything to do with their weight.

LadyKenya · 18/03/2023 16:26

Why not? As long as I like, and get on with them. We share similar values, yada, yada.

Ragruggers · 18/03/2023 16:27

Depends if you wanted a friend to go walking for miles with you then that is not possible if however you wanted a friend to chat and have tea with then fine.Who is this person and how old are they?are they wanting to get fit lose weight and go walking?

premicrois · 18/03/2023 16:27

Oh this is a strange one. I'm autistic so don't really do 'friends' but I would never choose to be friendly with anyone based on their looks alone. If I like a person I like them so for me they would have to be likeable, not thin.

GettingThereCharleyBear · 18/03/2023 16:27

@name985 well aren’t u a delight 🙄

RedDoughnut · 18/03/2023 16:27

What is their personality like?
If they are happy and intelligent and kind and funny the of course.

tulippa · 18/03/2023 16:27

If we got on and they were a nice person, yes.

Timeforachangeisitnot · 18/03/2023 16:28

I have a friend like that. One of the most engaging and intelligent women I have ever met.
Her size doesn’t get in the way of our friendship but it does limit the range of things we do together .

PlateBilledDuckyPerson · 18/03/2023 16:28

In the unlikely event they were interested in being friends with me (no one is) of course I would be friends with them.

LadyKenya · 18/03/2023 16:28

HappyScotch · 18/03/2023 16:25

well it’d make it hard to do anything with them

Like what? You can sit, and chat still. No one mentioned that they were housebound!

AnnoyedFromSlough · 18/03/2023 16:28

Yes, I have a lovely friend that sounds similar. No idea what her weight is, but she is very very heavy. Very intelligent, great company. She's one of the best people I know.

declutteringmymind · 18/03/2023 16:29

Yes. I have friends that are very obese.

SunshineAndMonsteras · 18/03/2023 16:29

Of course some people wouldn't and some would. Like with any friendship it's about shared values and often hobbies. So if someone likes to spend weekends hiking with friends, probably wouldn't have much in common. Other people would be absolutely fine. Totally depends on who is into what.

Mitchumforthewin · 18/03/2023 16:30

Probably not as we would be too different in terms of hobbies, interests etc. My good friends are all very active and into running, sports, exploring outside etc so we wouldn’t have anything in common. So nothing to do with the size as such.

RelentlessForwardProgress · 18/03/2023 16:30

I used to be that person........am not now.

There are certain women whose behaviour/friendliness towards me changed dramatically as I lost weight and were suddenly all pally....but of course I knew exactly who they were.

I look on this as one of the few upsides of morbid obesity.

CarpetSlipper · 18/03/2023 16:31

Of course, couldn’t give a fuck what my friends weigh or look like.

AndTheSurveySays · 18/03/2023 16:31

Are you the very fat person op?

Caramac555 · 18/03/2023 16:31

Yes I have a friend this size. She's a great laugh and gets plenty of male attention too. You feel good about life after spending time with her.

Unicornsaregreat · 18/03/2023 16:32

I’d never choose friends based on looks but in reality our paths probably wouldn’t cross as I spend most of my time doing sports or outdoorsy stuff at the moment.

But I wouldn’t actively avoid making friends with someone overweight, no.

Bluebellwood129 · 18/03/2023 16:33

Yes, it would make no difference as long as they had the qualities I look for in a friend. The same would apply to people with other chronic diseases and/or mental health conditions.