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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be gobsmacked at Kate Ferdinand complaining about not getting a Mother’s Day card from her then-boyfriend Rio’s children

254 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 17/03/2023 17:14

When she’d only been living with them six months, and moved in when they’d been together less than a year?! And their own actual mother had died of cancer?

I get that she was already taking a great deal of care of them and would have appreciated some acknowledgment of that, but this is just taking the piss.

OP posts:
Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 17/03/2023 21:16

I think it’s a bit of a reach to say that a thread that criticises the publicly stated words of one step mum means that it’s a thread that bashes ALL step mums.

It isn’t.

OP posts:
Lndnmummy · 17/03/2023 21:16

She was also going on in an interview about how he wasnt being excited enough about her being oregnant because he had 3 already...

creekingmillenial · 17/03/2023 21:17

I watched a documentary about them a while back and could not believe the total lack of understanding. But she was a childless young woman. I blame Rio. Pretty awful thing to do to your kids. I actually told my husband to watch as a ‘what not to do’ if I ever died.

Lostmyway86 · 17/03/2023 21:22

@imnotwhoyouthink. I agree, this thread is horrid. @mumsnet should take a look.

OP you can try and defend it all you want, you tool something completely out of perspective and started this nonsense. Horrid.

minou123 · 17/03/2023 21:27

AngeloMysterioso · 17/03/2023 21:16

I think it’s a bit of a reach to say that a thread that criticises the publicly stated words of one step mum means that it’s a thread that bashes ALL step mums.

It isn’t.

Your thread completely mis-characterises what she actually said.

She didnt complain that her DSC didn't get her a Mother's Day Card.

So what you've done, is attribute words to someone that didn't happen. You've got people frothing about something she didn't say or understand the context it was said in.

Now, the thread is filled with people saying really nasty, hateful things about her, based on your untrue characterisation of what she said.

That's what you have done.

angelpoise · 17/03/2023 21:29

This is very unfair imo. I don’t know them (and neither do most (any) of you) but she says she had been doing her best, she was probably feeling overwhelmed and specifically says she went and cried on her own AND that she felt selfish for having these feelings. I can’t see any reason for this unpleasant pile-on.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:30

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:02

I am god mother to the children of two women who are friends and step mothers. Think they love me as much as I do them.

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Bet they wouldn't if they know your real feelings.

ancientgran · 17/03/2023 21:31

Lndnmummy · 17/03/2023 21:16

She was also going on in an interview about how he wasnt being excited enough about her being oregnant because he had 3 already...

I don't think that is particularly surprising. I had two when I married my 2nd husband, I told him he was mad to take on being a step parent and that I wouldn't do it. I had a step father and much as I didn't get on with him I don't think it is an easy thing to do.

Then when I got pregnant everything was obviously newer to him, I mean I was excited about the new baby but I knew what to expect and it was all novel to him. I imagine that is probably even harder the other way round because it is all actually happening to the first time mum.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:33

Of course it's not surprising to want your husband to be happy about your pregnancy ffs. It's not unreasonable either, at all.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:35

AngeloMysterioso · 17/03/2023 21:16

I think it’s a bit of a reach to say that a thread that criticises the publicly stated words of one step mum means that it’s a thread that bashes ALL step mums.

It isn’t.

It's because you're basically making this play into the stereotypical evil stepmother, by twisting her words, essentially. Why are you doing that?

Idontgiveashitanymore · 17/03/2023 21:35

Attention seeking narcissist . Don’t like her at all

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:37

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:30

Bet they wouldn't if they know your real feelings.

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They do know my real feelings, they are amongst my closest friends.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:38

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:37

They do know my real feelings, they are amongst my closest friends.

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If you say so, if it helps you sleep at night. I wouldn't be so sure.

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:39

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:38

If you say so, if it helps you sleep at night. I wouldn't be so sure.

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You can rest assured, I know I do

ancientgran · 17/03/2023 21:41

Anonhopingforbaby · 17/03/2023 20:45

@Birdsbirdsbirds

"I felt like a mum"

How dare she say that? She is not and will never be their mum. Those poor children.

Don't be ridiculous. She isn't saying she is there mum, if she felt like a mum why can't she say that? If she is doing the mothering role why shouldn't she feel like any of us feel, good days bad days, days when we've had enough of arguing about getting your hair brushed or getting your coat on for school. Are step mothers supposed to find that easier or something?

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:41

Honestly, I'd be really surprised if you act in real life like you do on here, that your friends are totally a okay with it if they're step mothers.

You probably don't act like this though, it's really easy to be horrible when you're anonymous. Probably not as easy to be horrible to people's faces.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 17/03/2023 21:52

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:39

You can rest assured, I know I do

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I can't believe you are entertaining them 😂happy St Patrick's day 😎☘

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:55

If being an internet bully is entertainment to you.....

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:57

This reply has been deleted

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Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 21:58

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 17/03/2023 21:52

I can't believe you are entertaining them 😂happy St Patrick's day 😎☘

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A glass of wine kills all ills! Same to you ☘️☘️☘️

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Haven't been horrible to anyone, insinuates I'm a "lunatic" all in one sentence. Do you see your error there?

Eyerollcentral · 17/03/2023 22:01

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 21:59

Haven't been horrible to anyone, insinuates I'm a "lunatic" all in one sentence. Do you see your error there?

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You are not the centre of my thoughts, have a good evening.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 22:01

No, too busy being a troll elsewhere I imagine.

Supersands · 17/03/2023 22:03

I know they are doing a podcast which quite a few celeb couples seem to be doing at the moment. But I feel like some things need to be left private. It’s one thing not showing your childrens faces but instead your detailing your private life. Once it’s out there, the media can twist and turn it.
Maybe there was more to it my first thought was that was harsh of him but if they weren’t actually married etc that’s quite different. Plus she isn’t their mum. I think the fact that she gave up her life to be a step mum says a lot. I’m not sure it’s wise though.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 17/03/2023 22:06

What does being married have to do with it, out of interest?