Text to husband

[PEEDOFFFACE]

I trust my husband however I'm really peeved that his work colleague friend sent him texts saying she keeps randomly wanting to hug him because he's so hugable.
She also texted to say he's looking gorgeous in his suit . She is married tho be it unhappily. I understand harmless flirting but feel this is a bit much. Is that normal behaviour?!? I've not met her and can't work out if I'm just being crazy and paranoid.

I think it doesn't help at his previous job there was a weirdo that kept emailing him after work saying she couldn't stop thinking about him( he showed me the email) and she only stopped when he reported it. And she bumped into me in the street when I was with him, was really nice and I thought I had misjudged her, but then she went back to the office and said" wasn't it awkward meeting your wife"

Am I a crazy needy person. Heelllppp

You can text a married male colleague. There are two that I message occasionally. One that I used to work with but we’re now in different departments and another that I work with. It might be about holiday plans with the family or a tv series recommendation but I never add any xxx’s nor would I send anything that their wife would take issue with as they are friends and not someone that I am interested in that way. The platonic relationship is mutual.

There is no ‘I trust my husband but’ you either do or you don’t, and he obviously likes the attention other wise they wouldn’t feel they could message him. I am not saying he’s a cheat but I am saying his boundaries are unacceptable

Him wanting you to meet her with the kids is to show off his kids to her. He is already shagging her.

You are absolutely not in the wrong having these negative feelings. She is very clearly making a pass. Saying she wishes to hug him and complimenting him on how handsome he is. You have the right to be upset, as would many of us. Talk to your DH and if it isn’t sorted then report her

It sounds like he is attention seeking. One woman giving him attention is fine but 2 different women ? Sorry . There is something wrong here. The common denominator is your husband. Is your marriage good?

You are NOT being unreasonable/crazy. She is disrespecting your marriage by sending those kind of messages. Men can be very naive in these situations - he’s probably flattered, he doesn’t want to cause animosity at work and he’s a polite person so probably finds it awkward to leave her texts unanswered - the fact he’s showing you the messages is proof he’s not interested (you already know that) and that he sees it as harmless. He’s choosing not to see this is inappropriate behaviour (especially saying he looked gorgeous in his suit).

I think you should definitely meet her - it might help to lay some boundaries down and if she doesn’t back off after that then you need to sit down with your husband and say it really isn’t a nice feeling for you. If a man was texting you all this how would he feel!?

id say it’s a bit of a red flag that he’s not mentioned these msgs. If it was me, I would, just because I feel like something like this comes up in conversation and if it doesn’t, I’d be actively hiding it so yeah that would make me a bit sus, personally

Oh dear. You sound very naive.

Well fishy. The fact this has happened more than once, your husband is telling you about it and not shutting it down says that he likes it. Is he trying to groom you into a threesome?
I can't think of any other reason why he is encouraging this to happen. Weird.

Right. OP. I hope that you are reading me. What's happened here is that you have had a somewhat mild niggle. It has now grown into an enormous canker, care of MumsNet and stupid people speculating as they have no lives of their own, nor do they have anything better to do than speculate on yours. IGNORE THEM ALL. Tell your beloved that you aren't entirely happy with what's happening, and carry on. Have a good life. Love, laugh and sing xx

Why isn't he shutting the convo down? I am a guy and I would remind her that I am married and that my wife thinks I look nice. I wouldn't skirt around it.

... and if that doesn't work, just tell them all to fuck off

Of course it’s totally inappropriate. He needs to shut it down.
‘You’re so huggable’
‘my wife says the same. See you tomorrow’

The huggable message makes me suspicious though. As if they have…

I think this is a bit weird and your husband needs to maintain a cool and healthy distance from this lady even though he will no doubt find it flattering.

Yeah, I agree with those saying that two different women at two different jobs is a red flag. At a minimum, he's not doing what he can to discourage these flirtations.

Love, laugh and sing

I optimistically hope that you're joking.

This is a massive red flag!

For years on the occasion of his birthday, a woman I’d never heard of would post a ‘happy birthday’ greeting with a X on my husband’s Facebook page. Every year I used to wonder, who the feck IS that? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fast forward a couple of years I divorced him, and found out that they’d been carrying on behind my back for at least four years😔

These things always start somewhere, no doubt with just flirting initially (and in my case this was doubly annoying, as she probably got a kick out of taking that little annual ‘risk’)….

I’d meet up with her & tell her very clearly that her text messages are band out of order she stops them immediately or you forward them to her hubby & see what he thinks about her messages to your husband saying he’s so huggable like you he would no doubt be pretty pissed off.
ok she’s not physically cheating but she’s definitely putting out the feelers to see if her interest is reciprocated.
Id also be laying it bare to Dh he either tells her to back off or conjugal rights will be withdrawn; this might buck him up a bit 😂

You’ve snooped… that in itself says there is an issue!

Any message I have ever received since meeting my (now) DH has been swiftly shut down… as I have no doubt anything he might have received would have been (and discussed in our case).

Only time I have ever seen anyone encourage other contact has been when they would take it further if offered…. Meaning they weren’t entirely happy where they were at the time for any number of reasons…. 🚩

Men always love their OH to think there’s some crazy women stalking them 🙄

the fact this has happened twice now and you’re focused on the other woman….

my guess is your husband isn’t that hot and he’s loving and encouraging attention from other women. Red flag 🚩

Tbh meeting up my shut her down as seeing a whole family together would probably really kill the fantasy. But he should have done the job himself in referring to you quickly in his replies.

Hush now and get to it, those ' Live Love Laugh' stencils aren't going to get on the wall by themselves.

"... get funny with people if they leave the company."

Ooh I hate workplaces like that. How long has he been there? I'd be encouraging another job for more reasons than just this woman