Text to husband

[PEEDOFFFACE]

I trust my husband however I'm really peeved that his work colleague friend sent him texts saying she keeps randomly wanting to hug him because he's so hugable.
She also texted to say he's looking gorgeous in his suit . She is married tho be it unhappily. I understand harmless flirting but feel this is a bit much. Is that normal behaviour?!? I've not met her and can't work out if I'm just being crazy and paranoid.

I think it doesn't help at his previous job there was a weirdo that kept emailing him after work saying she couldn't stop thinking about him( he showed me the email) and she only stopped when he reported it. And she bumped into me in the street when I was with him, was really nice and I thought I had misjudged her, but then she went back to the office and said" wasn't it awkward meeting your wife"

Am I a crazy needy person. Heelllppp

I totally agree with above posters,

He should have replied back my wife thinks I am huggable
Or
I am just one of those tactile type of people/individuals,
Obviously in a platonic way,
I am confused why you 😕 want to get in touch with me to tell me about that?

Bloody hell why on earth would He think you be interested in meeting her ?
That is very weird, !!!
(Is he social awkward or on the spectrum???
so he thinks its normal and is baffled why you wouldn't be flattered too, or want to become friends as clearly he is by the attention he is getting from her,

as you won Obviously your husband heart and got married,

Why on earth 🌎 has she got your husband private personal number then?

He is not exactly shutting it down the flirting,
He Obviously enjoys the attention, 🙄,

Just something like " you do say I'm hugable"

Re-reading this suggests to me she actually regularly hugs him...

Mark my words if you don't put a stop to it this will turn into something more.

The same thing happened to me in my first marriage. We'd been married only a few months and someone from work started messaging my exh, before I knew it they were having an "emotional affair". He swears nothing happened between them whilst we were still together, but I'm positive it did.

It broke our marriage up and he's now with this woman and has been for years.

I would find that really funny!
Do you trust him?

It’s completely inappropriate but I don’t think she is the issue here.

This has happened before so it’s not ‘this woman’ it’s your DH.

Why would it be weird to meet the wife?
I’m sorry but that sounds very much like an affair even if it’s just emotional and flirty.

If your DH was innocent he would have shut her down straight away but he didn’t and it’s quite obvious that he is the one who is going after these women.

I personally wouldn’t say anything just yet and so some digging.

You say you meet up with colleagues ypurself however are any of these colleagues married men that you flirt with? Probably not.

This.

Your husband is leading these women on for an ego boost, at a minimum.

This is not normal or ok. You don’t send messages like that unless you know they are wanted. At best your husbands been flirting with her

@smoocakes6 you don't text a married man? Ever? How do I, a single female, arrange to meet my male married friends then for a catch up? Are we not supposed to be friends? OP I think her texts are out of order 100% and other posters are correct that he's not shutting it down.

So odd to keep banging on about him being “huggable” she sounds rather idiotic

If someone is “cuddly” that’s just a polite euphemism for chubby isn’t it?

I’m not sure of his motives in sharing all this with you?
Yes, he could simply be trying to be very honest and transparent to reassure you…
But he could be doing it to provoke a reaction in you- to make you feel insecure?
..Reminding you how popular he is with women in order to belittle you and big himself up?

I don’t see why he’s not shutting it down straight away and not mentioning it

She doesn't trust him. She looked at his phone without his knowledge.

<eye roll> Op didn’t say that.
She isn’t the one in the wrong here, regardless of how she saw the inappropriate messages.

I was going to say it's a good sign that he's showing you the texts as if there waa something in it he would have hidden them. But then you posted about his replies.

If some woman had messaged that to my DH he would have text back and bluntly told her he was married and was not interested in this kind of conversation. Then he would have blocked her. He would not in a million years be entertaining the idea of meeting up!

My DH is really lovely and considerate of others' feelings but he's also fiercely loyal and protective of his family. If someone disrespected his marriage he wouldn't care about offending them.

@SmileyClare she said she snooped. I haven't said she's wrong. I just answered the question as to whether she trust him and the answer is, quite clearly, no. And with good reason.

Sorry OP that IS flirting back.
Any decent attached person would shut that shit down.
And whyTF does he want to stage a meeting between you, them & her kids?

It's pointless being pissed off at her, you're not married to her.
Ask him what he is playing at with his meeting-up idea, & why he feels engineering a meet-up with somebody with poor professional boundaries is a good plan.

Op huge red flags all over this

This was my thought too. Funny how you will end up as crazy and needy and the other women as weird stalkers. What's the common denominator here?

As is so often said on mumsnet - you have a DH problem.

No, he's not trying to fix this meeting as a way of stopping the flirting - it would be kinda counter-productive to reward the flirting with more attention wouldn't it?

Remember the last woman he office-flirted with, who OP met in the street - he made sure to inform OP of her "wasn't it awkward meeting your wife" remark.
He's hiding in plain sight, & he's giving OP enough info to get her performing the Pick-Me Dance.

I'm not saying he;s being unfaithful, but he's certainly being disrespectful.

It comes across as flirting and inappropriate to me too. I have male friends at work and I respect both them and their marriages. I would never have a text exchange like this with any of them. I also respect my husband and my marriage too much.

& just as much to the point - why did OP's H share that snippet with her?
He's enjoying the ego-boost AND using it to undermine OP.

www.chumplady.com/2012/04/the-humiliating-dance-of-pick-me/

Again - I'm not saying that he's actively cheating. But OP - do yourself a favour & have a very good browse round ChumpLady's site.

Yeah the fact that she sends these messages, he makes out he's uncomfortable, and then wants to meet up out of work, a bit of a red flag for me.

Why do women keep being so inappropriate with him? is he a bit of a flirt?

TBH, as someone who probably crosses a bit of a line-I'm all about gassing everyone up, I just can't see these women thinking that it was unwanted contact, or indeed innocent given their comment that it was awkward meeting the wife. The lack of boundary isn't with everyone there, just toward your husband.
If I've met the wives, or partners of my colleagues that I've had good relationships with, they've been treated with the same warmth as I'd treat their partner. There would be no awkwardness, I'd ask about them, their kids or whatever. Usually I'd compliment them, as I compliment most people on something... none of that, guilty, oh that was awkward nonsense.

What harassment FFS?

"Dear HR, every time my colleague sends me a flirty text, I flirt right back, & now I am pushing for my colleague to meet my wife & kids. Help me, I'm being harrassed!"

Your husband is a flirt and leads these women on. Blame him for the texts and anything else they do because he flirts and gives them the green light. He 'eggs' them on

He's been there years but I haven't met any of them

In that case I'd wonder if the suggested meet-up is an attempt to "make it all look normal" while (as with the messages) he gets on with whatever else he hasn't told you about

It's a red flag to me that this isn't the first time he's been receiving flirty messages.

If someone started sending me flirty messages, I really would be wondering what vibe I was giving out to make them think I was interested in taking communication down that route.