To feel awkward about our financial situation?

You’ve reduced your hours to take care of your and his children… I agree with your husband. It’s both of yours.
As for friends/colleagues…. Yes it’s hard to watch someone do the same job as you being so much better off financially, especially if you are struggling, but that’s the way the world is. Real friends it won’t matter and it sounds like you are very careful to not run it in their faces, in fact the opposite. Relax and try to stop worrying about things you don’t need to x

And this is why people don’t talk about money and feel awkward about money they have earned.

If you or your family need money, @Led9519 and you want your sister to give you some of hers, then you should ask her. It’s not fair to expect her to offer you hers, and be resentful behind her back if she doesn’t.

I cant advise strongly enough about keeping quiet as to how much you have in the bank. Somebody I know won a substantial amount on premium bonds and in all the excitement was quite loud and vocal about it.
For starts there were friends that slated her for bragging. Her sister stopped talking to her because she didn't share it. Although she carried on working just the same, when she was offered overtime then she had to defend herself because "why does she get overtime,she doesn't need it" . She had to deal with snidey comments from jealous people and also she was dating at the time and then it became an underlying worry about if they were there for her, or for the money.
She told me that it's a regret that she wasn't secretive about the win as her life could of been easier.

I was left a large amount of money few years ago, partly it caused as much worry and trouble as it saved, which came as a complete surprise to me
main thing I would say is keep yours and husband’s business to yourself even if it means moving away, friends I found started saying how hard up they were and distant family started visiting saying the same..
get good financial advice too although I imagine your husband knows what his doing, mine didn’t it wasn’t his anyway, and sponged a lot off me, ending in my divorcing him
good luck …

This. Try and save/pay as much into the pension as you can. You have no idea what the distant future will hold.

Just sounds totally brag to me. Enjoy your lifestyle , why are you stressing over being more fortunate than most people just carry on you don’t need to discuss your finances with anyone really do you?

So long as you don't rub others noses in it, what's the problem. You have dropped lucky so enjoy the benefit. Remain grounded and enjoy.

It could be worse OP. You could have to work full and have very little money. Chin up.

It's a 1st world problem...!

For goodness sake, stop worrying what your colleagues think. They aren’t your family or friends, work colleagues are work colleagues - end of. Colleagues just pass by in our lives .
Enjoy your husband’s success and congratulate him. He has worked hard and deserves the rewards. If you don’t enjoy this new money, it might spoil it for him. He clearly wants you both to enjoy the journey.
Life is for living - enjoy it OP! And congratulations!

Baffled by your comment. It is her money that SHE works for ??? Why should she have to ‘share it around ?’

if she does , that would be very very gracious of her , but if she’d rather spend it all on herself ?.. Well she can because it’s her money

I agree with you. I take great pleasure in treating those I love.

General population don’t like people who have money. Unpleasant but true. You need to get used to it and ignore it. No point dwelling on it or worrying about whether it affects others’ view of you. It does.

Get used to the comments and snide remarks because sadly, they are not going to go away. People will hate you and your dh for having enough money to be charged a small fortune in tax that props up the economy, that pays for the very system which supports millions of people in this country (as it well should) and then those same people will tell you they don’t like the fact you have money. Or worse, they will show you they don’t like it by looking down their nose at you for having the audacity to earn above whatever they do.

The sooner you accept this as fact and learn to be comfortable in your own skin with your hard earned cash (and yes it is your hard earned cash too despite it coming from dh’s work), the happier you’ll be with it.

Pay your taxes, donate or give as much or as little away as you want - to whomever you want…. And then enjoy the rest with a clear conscience and pride in your achievement.

All the money Ive made has been made by me. Never had a bloke support me and never will.

I feel a bit similarOP. We’ve got a fairly nice life but the money has one from my husband’s success. I never feel I can splurge as I always consider it ‘his miney’ although he always tells me I’m being ridiculous and that it’s ‘ours’.
i save, use vouchers, constantly look for discounts as if we had very little money as I just don’t feel I can spend the money freely.
i gave up work while the chn were young and he says he couldn’t have earned what he does if I’d worked but I don’t see it.
and yes I hide our situation from others as I don’t feel it’s my doing that has put us there.
we are weirdos aren’t we?!

Op, I can understand why suddenly coming into a lot of money can be a bit of a shock to the system and I can understand why you are a little concerned about how others may perceive you. However, one thing I cannot understand is why you feel guilty about not ‘earning’ the money,

Op, why should you feel guilty about spending money that your dh earned while married to you.?
You better believe that if my husband was minted and even if I had not ‘worked ‘ a day in my life I would regard that money as our money.
We are married and therefore what belongs to dh belongs to me and vice versa.
I wouldn’t have a problem spending the spoils and would enjoy every second tbh.
I have given dh three beautiful kids and have the stretch marks to prove it.
I endured three long labours , strep b infection and swollen ankles . My once perky boobs look like fried eggs , my six pack has disappeared and you are telling me that I shouldn’t enjoy money made during the marriage .
Op, when your dh wasn’t wealthy people expected you to ‘share’ the poverty so why shouldn’t you ‘share’ the wealth?
People coming into money provokes a lot of resentment/ envy . Everyone and their dog has an opinion on how wealthy people should spend their own money. Ignore them.

Many women would give their right arm ( and throw in their left leg )to have what you have. Enjoy it
Obviously you and your dh should have discussions about finances. You don’t want to be left in a vulnerable position if the marriage was to end.
Btw you don’t have to discuss your finances with anyone. I don’t even talk about money with family and close friends because frankly it’s none of their business.

You don't need to tell anyone anything. Enjoy that life is good.
I'm not the jealous type. We have a mortgage on a house that has no heating and no double glazing, but it is our little castle and life isn't too bad. We will get there eventually, but it takes its toll. My other half works so hard in a physical job and I appreciate everything he does.

Why don't you give them something else to talk about for example I know someone in my community that started a group to clean up protected wildlife areas. It's so amazing what he does never even thorght about how much money he has.

I think I would just caution you to set up some savings in your own name, create some investments, buy yourself (or ask for) nice jewellery and maybe a property in trust for your child.

I hope you both stay in love forever and ever, but you're in a vulnerable position and he could walk away and leave you with very little. Spousal support is not a thing. Child maintenance is laughable, half the time. Clever men can, and do, weasle out of paying what they owe once they move on. I really hope this doesn't happen to you, but do your best to protect yourself.

Insist on a larger, more expensive house than you genuinely need perhaps. That way half of the cost of it could still buy you a house if you end up single.

Best wishes. Enjoy the wealth. Stop apologising. Protect yourself.

From an ex wife who swore her (then) husband would "never do that".

I'd happily be in your position. I am skint!! But you have options. You could give up work and volunteer. You could stay at work and don't mention what you're buying/doing. I had a friend years ago with a similar problem. She worked at a charity and her husband became a real high flyer in the City, earning a fortune - this was in the 80s. My friend actually couldn't cope, she felt very guilty somehow. Anyway she eventually gave up work and did another degree. Sadly she left me far behind. The money separated us. But I'd enjoy your life!

Most women earn less than men. The system has been set up buy men for the benefit of men for centuries, women are playing catch up and this started reletively recently. Childcare and other caring work is work, without a women's contribution society cannot succeed. Despite being a solicitor, I earn far less than my spouse despite working hard in school etc. I look after the house, kids and work. I consider my contribution equal to that of DH. If your are lucky, as I am that DH values you, enjoy it!

*by

I think trying to pin the feelings onto physical outcomes of wealth eg car holiday etc is where you might need to pause. Im in a similar state after sadly and unexpectedly getting a significant lump of money from inheritance of near relative. I’ve had similar work and family structure to you - not used to excess money. As we say a problem many would like to have. Im surprised that the money feels nice but not as amazingly enjoyable as you would think. It gives me future stability for retirement but really I just want the relative back and wish they’d spent the money on themselves. So to sum up getting money not always so amazing a feel good as we are expecting because feelings come into play

It's because the OP said that the car costs more than some people's houses - so i suppose some of us were thinking she is rocking up to her work in a 700k car which probably would be really interesting for some people in the office but, then she said the car cost 80k (what house costs 80k)?

Why is having a toddler stopping you having a career?

Many of us do and have been doing it and also having more than one child. You are making the choice.