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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boyfriend thinks my puppy is his

172 replies

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:41

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. I am 24 he is 23. We both live with our parents, but he practically lives at my house and hasn't gone home in months.

A few weeks ago I bought a puppy, he is gorgeous and I love him so much! However, my boyfriend is insisting that he is "his dog as well" I don't have an issue with this statement, but he has said that if anything happens and we split up, that the dog will be half of his and we would have to share custody of him.

I just find this bizarre as I paid for the dog (he wasn't cheap) I picked him up, I look after him (although he does his fair share). Just because I was with my boyfriend when I got the puppy, surely it doesn't automatically make him his dog?

I was just looking for some opinions on this, or aibu and looking too much in to it?

OP posts:

PartnersInCrime · 15/03/2023 13:43

Of course not. Put him in his place and make sure the chip has your name only.

tinselandjoy · 15/03/2023 13:44

Obviously it's not your boyfriend's dog. It's a weird thing for him to say.

What do your parents think about your boyfriend not having gone home in months?

TheEponymousGrub · 15/03/2023 13:46

"his dog as well" I don't have an issue with this statement

You do! You know it isn't true, because you paid for the dog. So you must say so to your BF straight away, and stand your ground. Or else you will end up fighting for custody of him.

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:48

@PartnersInCrime thank you! the chip is in my name and will be staying that way.

@tinselandjoy I thought that too, its nice that he loves the dog but for him to say that he is his dog too just doesn't sit right with me. And my parents don't mind, he lives here with us now I obviously wouldn't have just invited him to stay here for months on end without discussing with them first, although that's irrelevant to this thread!

OP posts:

EmmaDilemma5 · 15/03/2023 13:50

Oh dear.

Time to tell him what's what. The dog is yours. It was at the beginning, it is now, and it will always be.

Sounds like underneath it, he's an arsehole. Tell him to go home, that way there'll be less confusion.

Seriously though, you're young. Life's too short to be with idiots. He's told you he'd happily steal from you.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 15/03/2023 13:51

He's holding you hostage the way some men do when they say "If you break up with me, I'll take the children".

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:51

@TheEponymousGrub yes your right, i would hate to be in that situation. But surely he could never have half custody of the dog (if we broke up) he has not contributed a penny to him!

OP posts:

Iloveenidblyton · 15/03/2023 13:51

Make sure the chip is in your name. Do you have any correspondence about the dog, receipts etc ?
He obviously thinks that by staying over at your place earns him some rights.

The very fact he brought this up in the way he did would want me to kick him out.
He’s getting to comfortable
and needs put in his place.

tinselandjoy · 15/03/2023 13:51

@oonrug fine if it's not an issue for you, it just seems really off to me that he has announced the dog is also his.

If my friend had a BF who had moved into her room at her parents' house and was taking ownership of her stuff I'd raise an eyebrow at it but if it works for you, good luck!

JackHackettsMac · 15/03/2023 13:52

Your parents must be saints!! 😳

Iloveenidblyton · 15/03/2023 13:52

I also agree with @OneRingToRuleThemAll
He’s blackmailing you.
A red flag.

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:53

Thanks everybody, I really appreciate all of the comments. I didn't know if I was being selfish but you've all made me realise that im not!

OP posts:

Deadringer · 15/03/2023 13:54

Every time he says it laugh and say 'don't be daft, you know he is my dog'.

1FootInTheRave · 15/03/2023 13:55

Bit of an entitled arse hole isn't he.

He would irritate me with this carry on.

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:55

@Iloveenidblyton thank you, yes I have all of the documents, receipts, insurance, microchip in my name. Everything regarding the pup is in my name thankfully!

OP posts:

Florin · 15/03/2023 13:57

In the eyes of the law a dog is a possession and if you bought him he is 100% yours, it doesn’t work like it does with children unless you want it too. If you have a receipt or buying agreement I would make sure you keep it safe just incase.

furryfrontbottom · 15/03/2023 13:59

Your boyfriend is a plonker. Ask him under what enactment he would apply for custody of the dog, and to which court. He won't have an answer.

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:59

@Florin thank you for that, yes I have all of the documents safe. Hopefully it'll never come to that, but it's a worry as my pets are my world and I love them like their my children haha! I would hate to have to be apart from them.

OP posts:

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 15/03/2023 13:59

oonrug · 15/03/2023 13:51

@TheEponymousGrub yes your right, i would hate to be in that situation. But surely he could never have half custody of the dog (if we broke up) he has not contributed a penny to him!

Of course youre not being unreasonable....

Does he have other things of yours that he thinks are his?

Although think you're unreasonable to be with a man who is presumably living rent free in your parents' home??

OnMyWayToSenility · 15/03/2023 14:00

Yeah it's time for a 'talk'

And maybe send him home for a few nights too. Get some boundaries in place as your life won't be your own soon!

Get your parents on board too! Sure they don't want him there 24/7, hope he's contributing to the bills

Original poster

oonrug · 15/03/2023 14:00

@IamtheDevilsAvocado no nothing else, it is just the fact that I got this dog while being with him that he for some reason thinks it's his. Also he is not living here rent free.

OP posts:

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/03/2023 14:00

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 15/03/2023 13:51

He's holding you hostage the way some men do when they say "If you break up with me, I'll take the children".

This.
He's raising the possibility of breaking up with you... and advising you in advance that it wont be easy for you. You will lose more than just him, he's saying. The dog will be something that will keep you both in contact long term - he's also saying.

I also think he's competing with the dog for your affection. If you love the dog, you have to realise that it also belongs to him 50%, so he deserves more affection for partial ownership of the dog.

Its also completely childish. This thing that you love - if you dump me - I will claim it from you... That's kinda threaty isn't it.

All of this is complete conjecture of course.

PoppyFleur · 15/03/2023 14:01

Your bf hasn’t paid a single penny for the puppy but thinks it’s a shared dog? Is he not very bright?

Does he also think your parents home is partly his too?

Time to educate you bf on possession and the law!

Redannie118 · 15/03/2023 14:03

My eh DH tried to do this when we divorced, just out of spite. Mines a rescue, i paid a small amount to the animal charity and had ownership papers. Like yourself mine is chipped in my name and vet and pet insurance in my name too. When we split, I told him I would see him in court if he wanted the dog, reminding him everything was in my name. He never followed through!

strawberry2017 · 15/03/2023 14:06

Time to tell him straight! He's a cheeky

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