Boyfriend thinks my puppy is his

[oonrug]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. I am 24 he is 23. We both live with our parents, but he practically lives at my house and hasn't gone home in months.

A few weeks ago I bought a puppy, he is gorgeous and I love him so much! However, my boyfriend is insisting that he is "his dog as well" I don't have an issue with this statement, but he has said that if anything happens and we split up, that the dog will be half of his and we would have to share custody of him.

I just find this bizarre as I paid for the dog (he wasn't cheap) I picked him up, I look after him (although he does his fair share). Just because I was with my boyfriend when I got the puppy, surely it doesn't automatically make him his dog?

I was just looking for some opinions on this, or aibu and looking too much in to it?

I agree with other posters.

You need to just have a serious proper conversation with him and tell him, in the case of a break up, the dog is staying with you, because he is in fact, your dog.
It's nice that he's fond of him but if he persists in his shared ownership rubbish maybe start inviting him to stay a bit less. Take back your boundaries. Your home, your dog.

So he doesn't live with his parents then? Why say he does when he doesn't?

A dog isn't a child where 'custody' arragements are made in the interests of their relationship with both parents. Legally a dog is a possession with a rightful owner, which in this case is clearly you.

does he contribute to your parents costs?

Just tell him straight about the puppy and if he doesn't agree? bin one of them.

Ant from ant and Dec has a custody arrangement

My relative is a family solicitor, people do argue over who owns the dog and sometimes that is what holds up divorces.

I would be more worried that your boyfriend has a controlling, bullying behaviours. Massive red flags.

In UK law a dog is property. If couples split up they dispute ownership, not custody. If your name is on the adoption certificate, insurance policy or receipt and there is no evidence of the dog being gifted to someone else, then it is your dog. Same as if your dog caused an accident. You would be liable, not your boyfriend.

What an arrogant entitled thing to say. Why are you engaging this shit? What else of yours does he think is half his, or that he can threaten you with?

Tell him to shut the fuck up. And then discuss his entitled shitty behaviour with your parents. Because I’ll bet my house he has not said this in front of your parents. And I’ll also bet this is not the only thing he’s entitled about.

Take this behaviour as the red flag it is and get rid of him.

Thank you all. Some really good points and comments here and I appreciate it.
Just to clear a few things up

Yes I still live at home with my parents, I'm saving to move out but I live in an expensive area. We're in a cost of living crisis I don't find it that odd that my boyfriend lives here with me, my parents love him and happily accept him to be here. We have a house full of animals and my parents were happy for me to get my own dog, I pay for everything for him and look after him I don't understand how that is an issue.

He hasn't shown any other controlling behaviours, he just sees the dog as "the start of our family" but it's definitely my dog and I will not be 'sharing custody' of him if we split up.

And the reason I said we both live with our parents is because we do! He officially lives with his parents, but spends most of his time here and pays his share to do so!

I do agree though that I need to put my foot down and make it clear that if anything was to happen, that he is my dog.

I also want to add, he hasn't said this in a malicious way. He just seems to think that if anything happened that we would share the dog, he hasn't said he's going to "take him off me" he has just said that we would have him 50/50

Don't expect him to help out with the dog then.

Yes I still live at home with my parents, I'm saving to move out but I live in an expensive area. We're in a cost of living crisis yet you've bought a dog. How are you going to rent anywhere with a dog?

Ensure you have copies of these receipts and documents somewhere safe, eg Cloud account he has no access to/documents sent know about just in case the originals go missing... 🌹

Also your post is confusing. You say you both live with parents but that also he lives with your parents. Which is it?

Was there a sit down discussion about him officially moving in, or has he just stayed more and more and now doesn’t go home? Do your parents actually want to share their home with him? Because I wouldn’t.

The very first time he said the dog was also his, you should have firmly corrected him. When it escalated to threats you should have ended the relationship.

The dog is a possession that you own. He's not its father ffs. What a melt.

I think some of this can be seen in a positive light - it shows an understanding of shared reponsibility for those you love. That's positive for the future if you stay together and eventually have a family. I'd also put some of his comments down to hos own puppy-like enthusiasm for the dog.

I wonder, did you discuss the purchase of a pup with him, did he therefore feel like he was part of the decision making? Also how are your lives together - do you rely on him at all for any part of the puppy care? Are you (and your family) 100% able to walk/toilet/train your pup or are there times when you're up early for work and he steps in?

At best he’s being weirdly selfish and deluded.
At worst he’s trying to use this as an implied threat to have some kind of hold over you and your relationship.

I would really be examining him and all of his behaviours under a critical microscope as this is a red flag.

Blimey - how many posters are going to jump on and ask about any detail other than what the OP has asked about?

Why have you bought a dog?
Why is your BF living with you?
Why doesn't he pay rent?
Did he ask to move in?
How are you going to move out with a dog?
Why did you say x about his parents?

Why? what? where? how? when? !!!!!!!

😂

OP, just calmly tell him - if we did ever split up this dog is mine and i won't be sharing it. And then leave it unless he brings it up again and then get stroppy.

If your boyfriend did not pay for the dog or support it how does he possibly think he can lay claim to it? He sounds like a fool to me.

He’s being weird. If you were married then arguably the dog could automatically be joint property. But you aren’t.

Tell him he’s being weird and ask him to stop saying your dog is a joint dog when it isn’t. If that isn’t a conversation you feel comfortable having, then this isn’t a healthy relationship.

Just text him. “Hey BF it’s bugging me that you kept saying my dog is joint property. Why do you keep saying that? Is it a joke I’m not getting? It’s kinda cute that you love him, but we aren’t married, so my stuff is mine and your stuff is yours 🤷‍♀️ can you stop saying it, as it’s annoying. Thanks xx”

Can we see the dog? 😊

@smellyflowers I won't be renting anywhere, I'll be getting a mortgage for my own house. Yes I'm saving and bought a dog, it's possible to be able to buy things that bring you joy while also saving for other things.

Personally I don’t think it’s even worth a discussion.

if you don’t plan to break up then just leave it.

you know the dog won’t ever be half his. You can easily block his number after the breakup! Hopefully that doesn’t happen though!

'OK, darling, your half of the cost was £600, the vet's bills will be about £200 a year, insurance £30 a month and food around £25. Did you want to pay me straight away or do you need time to think about it?'

Oh dear - I was married to one of these men 'what's mine was his, and what's his was his' I imagine he thinks he owns you as well.
Run far run fast is my advice.

@Laiste thank you so much for your sensible comment!! Tell me about it!! I appreciate that everybody has opinions but I'm not asking for any comments on anything else other than what I asked for!!

Your right, when I see him tonight I'll put my foot down and tell him! X