Boyfriend thinks my puppy is his

[oonrug]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. I am 24 he is 23. We both live with our parents, but he practically lives at my house and hasn't gone home in months.

A few weeks ago I bought a puppy, he is gorgeous and I love him so much! However, my boyfriend is insisting that he is "his dog as well" I don't have an issue with this statement, but he has said that if anything happens and we split up, that the dog will be half of his and we would have to share custody of him.

I just find this bizarre as I paid for the dog (he wasn't cheap) I picked him up, I look after him (although he does his fair share). Just because I was with my boyfriend when I got the puppy, surely it doesn't automatically make him his dog?

I was just looking for some opinions on this, or aibu and looking too much in to it?

You don't have "custody" of a dog, you own it. Sure, you could share ownership of a dog, but no, this particular dog is 100% your possession because you bought him. Dogs aren't children. Surely your boyfriend knows this? I know a lot of people talk about their dogs like they are actual relatives and that's sweet and all but most of them are aware that in real life they are the dog's owner, not his "mum" or "dad".

I only came on to see if I'd see a puppy picture.

OP your set up sounds just fine. I hope you have many happy years with your new pup x

oonrug: Your deluded

Am I? Or do I just have higher standards and better boundaries than you?

Thank you for the lovely comments, I'm quite young and have always been respectful to people who are normally the same back, so was a bit taken back at the mean comments from people who I assumed would be a bit more mature!

and for @Ludo19 thank you! I would love to post a puppy pic but am worried that it might be outing as all of the pics are also on my Instagram. Maybe I'll jump on a relevant dog thread and post one soon

Ah I hadn't thought of that, maybe a bit outing then lol. I just love looking at everyone's pet photos. Your new addition sounds fab!

I think it's better to be clear about your dog now and avoid problems down the road. So send him a message the next time you're apart (because sending him a message when you're in the same house seems odd!) saying your not sure why it's necessary to point out something so obvious but dear dog is yours, you paid the not inconsiderable purchase price, collected him from the breeder, he's registered to you and you take care of him and pay for everything he needs. There is no joint custody of dear dog. Then sit back and wait for his response. I suspect he'll say he was only joking but you'll have a written record and he'll know where he stands.

Ignore the posters going on about other stuff. It's not important. And to be honest it detracts from the important aspect of your partner

What did he say when you said it was your dog? What happened when you corrected him?

clumsy way of saying how fond he is of the dog and he'd never want to lose contact....like a grandma saying "Nana's gonna put you in her handbag and sneak you home with me'
This. I think you have taken his comment too literally. Saying that, if you are both thinking about when you split up, you might as well do it now. I'd have to consider someone to be my life partner, before I'd move them into my parents' house. What's the point - you are wasting time where you could be meeting someone you see a future with.

Adopt don't buy.🐾🐾🐕

Whoever the microchip is named as owner is the only legal owner of the dog.

there’s no such things as pet custody. It would entirely down to if you wanted to allow it but other than that he has zero rights to the dog

The microchip does not name the legal owner of the dog; it names the legal keeper. Whoever paid for the dog is the legal owner.

It's sweet that he loves the dog even though it's not his. I wish my ex had loved my dogs like that. however, that love doesn't make it his dog. I would lay it out to him clearly as possible that he wouldn't have half custody of the dog if you split, so he fully understands if that happens.

The microchip does not name the legal owner of the dog; it names the legal keeper. Whoever paid for the dog is the legal owner.

This is nonsense. Who is the legal owner (including whether there are joint owners) will depend on the circumstances, whether there was a gift or a joint ownership agreement and if there was a legal dispute what the evidence was as to ownership.

I pay for the dog, microchip it in my name but give it as an unconditional gift to my sister. My sister is the owner of the dog not me. It doesn't matter that I paid for it.

I pay for the dog, microchip it in my husbands name, we decide we can't look after the dog and give it to the inlaws. The inlaws jointly own the dog.

So in this case, its not impossible 6 years later that there is a dispute, Bf takes OP to Court and his says is yes I accept she paid for it but it was always understood between us it was a joint dog, I paid for half of its food over the years, walked it, looked after it, she always said it was our dog together. She represented to me that she bought as a 1/2 gift for me. It's a factual issue for a court to resolve and it will depend on who they believe. That's why I said to OP, put something in writing whether an email or a text that records you have told him in terms it is your dog alone.

Its funny, there was a thread on here not long ago from a man who was having the same problem with his female partner assuming his dogs were 'theirs' and the responses to him were quite different. 90% of the replies told him he was being selfish (mine included) and even though he bought them and paid their vets bills etc, his partner helped look after the dogs when he was at work so they were hers too. What a fickle place Mumsnet is.

I see the relevance to this thread. Your boyfriend thinks he owns the dog but hasn’t contributed to cost…your boyfriend basically lives at your parents…does he contribute to cost?

Because the dog was bought in both their names- which is clearly not the case with op

This. Post on a public forum and get annoyed when people are telling you what they see, clear as day.

It’s your dog and he’s a total twat.

Better than threatening to keep half the dog though!

Omg I'm going through the exact same thing!! I bought myself and my two kids a new puppy for Xmas which he also never paid for however a couple days after bringing her home he wanted to come and get her take her to his bit for him and his kids and often asks to take her and goes off to his family's with her and his kids even into his work with her it is so unbelievably frustrating!! He's just waiting for her to get her 2nd jags and then he's planning on driving somewhere to take her for a walk I mean that's all lovely but shouldn't he be asking to take the kids along with their new puppy!!

@1214Happy this thread is from March, you should probably start your own about your situation. But in your shoes I would NOT allow him to keep taking your puppy away from you. She isn’t a toy for his kids or to show off to his family and colleagues.It will completely mess with her training and confuse her. She needs to get used to her own home and family. And you have no idea how he and his kids treat her when you’re not there. I can’t believe you let him just take her, I’d be telling him no, absolutely not.

As someone who had to get a lawyer involved because a boyfriend tried his luck with my (family!) dog - get everything in writing just in case. I lost a stone just from the stress even knowing the law was in my side