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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being lazy? Washing my child

284 replies

Daftmum47 · 14/03/2023 22:05

I take my child swimming at least once a week, often twice, and afterwards I shower him and wash his hair. But I’ve let myself slip into lazy ways of not always bathing him at home, without fail, every week. He’s probably not teaching neglected levels of unclean, but equally I’m not teaching him personal hygiene. I have ADHD and come from a slightly chaotic home environment myself. Do other mums sometimes skip bath times if their child is going swimming? Yes = YANBU

OP posts:
GreenLeavesRustling · 14/03/2023 22:09

A couple of times a week for a proper bath and hair wash is the minimum round here for our 8 y/o

the teens shower or bath daily

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:11

It's still a proper shower and hair wash if it's at swimming. Don't see the problem personally. Shower is just as good as a bath if not better

BHRK · 14/03/2023 22:12

We bath our kids every day and hair wash every 3 days. I’m always a bit surprised people don’t. Kids aren’t known for great personal hygiene/wiping bottoms etc properly!

coffeewithmilk · 14/03/2023 22:14

How old is your child? Is he able to bath himself? On the days you don't bath him, do you give him a wash down with a cloth?
For some reason I feel from the way you've written your question that it's multiple times a week that you are skipping washing him, I could be wrong but that's how I've perceived it
Being in a swimming pool isn't washing.. it's full of chlorine.
My son has a bath every night, and the nights that I'm too tired or he is too tired, I'll fill a little basin and give him a quick wash, especially because he's still in nappies.. wouldn't be nice sitting in a nappy all day to then get into clean pjs and into bed, I wouldn't feel clean doing that so I don't let my son do it

Theunamedcat · 14/03/2023 22:14

We used to skip if we swam and showered after personally I see no need to constantly wash rewash and wash again

Clean is clean

BettyBoopy · 14/03/2023 22:15

We do shower and hair wash after swimming once a week plus 2 more baths/showers with hair washes at home. My kids all have eczema so frequent bathing isn't recommended.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/03/2023 22:15

We do a proper bath or shower, wash hair etc a couple of times a week...mostly. sometimes we just bung them in the shower for literally a minute and wash their bums. Mine are prone to dry skin and it used to get really bad when we bathed them daily. But mostly its because we literally dont have time, a proper shower every evening would mean no homework got done. It'll sort itself out when they are older as they will be able to shower and wash hair themselves and will stay up later so more time

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:16

'Being in a swimming pool isn't washing.. it's full of chlorine.'

But having a shower and washing hair after being in the pool IS washing

Coffeesnob11 · 14/03/2023 22:16

How old is he? Mine has excema and not bathing daily actually helps. Kids don't seem to seat in the same way adults and teens do. I wouldn't worry too much at all. As long as its not because he doesn't like it, I wouldn't stress. (Adhd here too)

Badbudgeter · 14/03/2023 22:16

I’d skip a bath if they had a proper shower at the pool and washed hair etc.

Hankunamatata · 14/03/2023 22:16

So he is only washing once a week at the swimming pool?

reluctantbrit · 14/03/2023 22:17

I think DD had more showers in her life than baths. Why do you think you neglect your child when you properly shower after swimming?

When DD was a baby and young toddler she had skin problems and one thing we were told to avoid was daily bath. She had a shower every two days and otherwise was washed with a flannel.

She always loved a shower, bath was for fun and cold winter.

She moved to daily showers when she was 9.

Nothappyunlessyourecomplaining · 14/03/2023 22:17

Hankunamatata · 14/03/2023 22:16

So he is only washing once a week at the swimming pool?

This is how I read it too.

Marchforward · 14/03/2023 22:17

I think OP is only showering her child once a week at the swimming pool. That isn’t enough and surely he is in swim wear so not fully getting clean.

How old is he?

Yika · 14/03/2023 22:18

Hankunamatata · 14/03/2023 22:16

So he is only washing once a week at the swimming pool?

This is how I read it and yes I think it’s neglectful tbh.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 14/03/2023 22:18

So long as swimming costume is off and wash all over with soap I can't see it's any different to showering at home.

I swim a lot and if I shower with costume on (only one private shower at my gym, rest are communal) I can really smell the chlorine when I shower at home. It gives me eczema.

Alltheproductsnoidea · 14/03/2023 22:18

F

Saschka · 14/03/2023 22:19

We don’t bath on the nights we have been swimming (because DS has already showered). We bath on every other night though, unless DS has had a special late night.

Not sure if that is what you are saying, or that you only wash your child weekly at the swimming pool? For me, that wouldn’t be enough. I also don’t think you have a brilliant shower at the pool - you still have your swimming costume on, for one thing.

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:20

Do the PPs who think it's neglectful if showering once a week at swimming also think it's neglectful if showering or bathing once a week at home?

Albiboba · 14/03/2023 22:20

A bath can obviously be skipped if they are having a shower after swimming, but not for the entire week Imo!

How old is your son?

Albiboba · 14/03/2023 22:21

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:20

Do the PPs who think it's neglectful if showering once a week at swimming also think it's neglectful if showering or bathing once a week at home?

Yes. Only ever washing your child once a week is too little imo, whether at the leisure centre or at home.

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:21

The way I read it is that some weeks the child will be having one or two showers at swimming and no baths at home but not every week

PurpleNebula84 · 14/03/2023 22:22

My DD (5) has a bath/shower every other night - I include this to involve her swimming lesson but she has a full on shower and hair wash as part of it (plus she always does the required rinse before going in the pool too). I don't think swimming alone is sufficient in place of a bath/shower and chlorine definitely needs rinsing off. She has a wash every morning too.
My ex on the other hand, would just leave her after swimming and sanctifying that as being a clean and probably only shower her if he remembers or "looks like she needs one"

Whypaymumwillsavetheday · 14/03/2023 22:22

Personally I bath/shower my DC 2-3 times a week, hair wash 1-2. I think if it was every single week then it's not ideal but it doesn't sound that way to me and to call it neglect is a touch too far imo

pinksheetss · 14/03/2023 22:23

I don't think that's enough personally
My Dd is bathed 5 times a week minimum and I thought I was bad because it wasn't every night

They do need regular washing. What about at night are they washing up/brushing teeth etc then? What other hygiene is in place outside the bath/shower?