Am I being lazy? Washing my child

[Daftmum47]

I take my child swimming at least once a week, often twice, and afterwards I shower him and wash his hair. But I’ve let myself slip into lazy ways of not always bathing him at home, without fail, every week. He’s probably not teaching neglected levels of unclean, but equally I’m not teaching him personal hygiene. I have ADHD and come from a slightly chaotic home environment myself. Do other mums sometimes skip bath times if their child is going swimming? Yes = YANBU

He’s 5. At the moment he goes swimming Wednesdays and Fridays.
He’ll get a bath if he’s muddy, but we’ve fallen out of a consistent routine.
I’m an older mum, when we were young weekly baths were the norm.

Maybe add a nice soak and play in the bath on Sunday before back to school.

Our kids bathe/shower every other day usually, though sometimes if things are running late of an evening we'll skip it to ensure they get enough sleep.

If we're talking about a pre-pubescent kid with short hair (long hair is more likely to get in food/paint etc) then one or two showers a week with regular flannel washes of face, ears, neck, pits, bits and bum is probably ok.

Once a week definitely isn't enough. Although every second day would probably be fine, you might actually find it easier to make a bath or shower a daily routine. This will also set up good habits for the future.

This time of year 2-3 baths and hair washes per week. In the warmer weather, daily if not every other day.

Yes, I think it would!

We grew up having bath and hair wash on a Sunday evening. We were not from neglectful or rough upbringing. Pretty middle class actually. People are over the top these days. Kids skin is delicate and all the bathing creates dryness and skin conditions.

Two baths a week here for mine. Once at the weekend and once midweek. Occasional extras if they need it but generally not.

We adults have showers every other day.

None of us have been accused of being smelly...yet.

Actually, a part of me thinks this too.

Obviously on swimming days no need for an extra wash. Otherwise my DC has a quick shower every morning (still in nappies at night) and a proper bath once a week when we wash hair.

That said, I think we’ve become obsessed with cleanliness nowadays. I do draw the line at smelly though - Clean hands, face, feet, bum are essential.

:-) thanks @Lolabear38 !

Grim and lazy. Children get so much muckier than adults in day to day play, I assume you shower more than once a week yourself? If not, also grim.

5?! Yeah, I reckon two showers a week is probably enough with flannel top ups between - I only bathe my own so often because it's easier to get them to agree to it than a strip wash and they have long hair that gets everything in it.

I would definitely teach him/help him with flannel washes tho, he is at an age where he might not be wiping his bum that well and he could get sore and sweaty there which isn't nice.

Tbh, if your child is only having 2 showers a week, plus ones where he's muddy, I'd say that's not great tbh.
It takes about 10 minutes for a quick bath or shower.
Depending on how old your child is, you could throw a few toys in the bath, put some bubbles in, he may see it as play time, then that could preface the whole getting ready for bed routine.

It'll save a shit tonne of hassle if he's in the habit before he reaches that weird pre teen stage where he stinks.

If having a shower at swimming on those days I would personally just add in a bath on a Sunday evening to your routine. Mine have a bath or shower every other day ish. I always make sure they have a good bath on a Sunday before school on Monday with nails trimmed and ears cleaned etc.

I have a 3.5 year old and he has a bath two or three times a week. Anymore than that and his eczema flares up. Less than that feels a bit grim and his hair starts looking a bit gross.

Kids need a bath every day. Like PP mentioned, it's part of their bedtime routine and kids get very dirty every day. It doesn't have to be a deep bath or long shower.

The idea of a Sunday routine is a nice one.

I always wash his face and hands, and he’s out of nappies at night now.

He likes coming into the bath with me, but he’s getting too big for that!

Perhaps I need to try and steer into a better routine, it’s been partly driven by how cold and draughty our old cottage has been over the winter. Also fatigue on my part.

This isn't why you’re doing it though OP, it’s because you are ‘out of routine’ I think you need to work on getting yourself together rather than latching on to other peoples reasons/excuses. I’m not sure what difference being an older mum makes either tbh. A lot of us are.
Please, please read what I said again, i’m very intelligent, i have no disabilities and I was in my late teens/early twenties when I realised I should shower every day because my parents didn’t teach me and did very similar to what you are, please take it seriously.

So he washes once or twice a week after swimming? No baths or showers at home? Or have I misunderstood?

Washing twice a week is absolutely fine for a 5 year old and is not neglectful - it will do no harm to him whatsoever. I’d make sure all the chlorine was washed off though.
As a child in the 90s I was bathed once a week with no washing at all in between.

My own children when young had a hair wash once a week and a bath 2-3 times. They were not dirty or smelly (if they were I would have washed them).

My eldest is now a teenager and showers daily. I just started telling him to shower when I noticed his hair looked greasy or he smelled. It wasn’t an issue at all.

I totally agree. DC have always washed (bath or shower) 5 times a week. DS3 is just 11 and only misses a Wed (cubs) and a Fri or Sat if he's not been doing much. He prefers baths and has one, Inc quick hair wash these 5 days.

DS16 has adhd and he really needs to be prompted, but he's in a shower most days, or at least 5 days a week. His dad is really big on this and has made it a priority. Buying nice shower products/ creams for afterwards helps him enjoy it. We also make him see the benefits of nice, fresh bedding each week and it's his responsibility to change it. These are life skills.

ONCE A WEEK?

Yes.

When I was little everyone had a bath on a Sunday night and that was it. Seems a bit grim now but it was the norm - and I don't recall anyone being smelly or looking dirty. I think we're all a bit too germ phobic now. I'm sure twice a week if fine.