Am I being lazy? Washing my child

[Daftmum47]

I take my child swimming at least once a week, often twice, and afterwards I shower him and wash his hair. But I’ve let myself slip into lazy ways of not always bathing him at home, without fail, every week. He’s probably not teaching neglected levels of unclean, but equally I’m not teaching him personal hygiene. I have ADHD and come from a slightly chaotic home environment myself. Do other mums sometimes skip bath times if their child is going swimming? Yes = YANBU

Well, in Mumbai it's hot. In UK it's not.

My youngest is the same age (I'm also an older mum fwiw) and we shower him each night and wash hair (short hair so not much effort). We live in a hot country where they are always running, playing and kicking up the dust - and also they aren't known for wiping properly at this age.

Yes it's not hot...But still. Kids get grubby. Teens smell too.

“bathing two or three times a week is fine. In fact, for many kids, even just once or twice a week is fine”
www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-your-child-need-to-bathe-every-day-202109202598

its fine!

Yes, teens should wash more often. We are not talking about a teen tho.

After working with KS1 for years and seeing the states the toilets get in 😬, I'd make a point of getting young children bathed or showered every night, even if it's just a quick in and out to clean their backsides!

Ours are bathed every night. Occasionally skip it if they've done nothing all day and aren't in school ghe following day. Eldest gets 2 showers a day, complete with skincare routine and fake tanning 🤷🏻‍♀️. I've never asked her to shower twice she just likes being clean.

A full on bath or shower once a week would be the minimum I would say. Sunday nights it always was for us. Once they hit puberty though..... much more washing needed!

A daily bath or shower is a luxury not a necessity. You can do a top and tail wash in between.

@AnotherCoolName @LemonSwan these are helpful comments, thank
you.

Yes, when I was in a better routine I used bathtime to tidy the bathroom.

Everyday is struggle to find his toothbrush, I have bought 4 of them!

Do make them brush their teeth tho. I know it's a drag, but there is a line.

Otherwise, just do what makes sense to you and your kids, and stop asking for stranger opinions :)

Hey, just figure out what works for you and surely you can judge how clean/fresh your own child is? You don't need to share that with anyone.

Pre-Covid, I personally showered every single morning and washed my hair before I left for work. WFH has made me realise, I don't need to be quite so anal about it - for instance, my hair does not need a daily wash!! However, I would not go out and about amongst actual physical people without showering and washing my hair that morning even now, even though I know I am still perfectly 'savoury'!! My hair doesn't go greasy the way I always imagined it would, had I not washed it every day!! (though maybe that's an age thing?!) It's a bit flat, but not awful!

When I had my babies, I bathed DC1 religiously every single day. She ended up with dry skin and I had to use Oilatum in her bath. DC2, as I was busier, probably had a bath every other day or so and I mostly bathed them together then, when DC2 was old enough.

DC3?? I bathed him when I remembered it had been a while lol! They were all fine. Don't you spot clean anyway if they get messy? Don't stress about it.

Mine are all adults and have grown up to be perfectly functioning when it comes to personal hygiene - even DC3 who had to be dragged kicking and screaming (metaphorically!) into it for a time.

Brushing their teeth is utterly non-negotiable!!

My three young adults have no fillings.

30 years earlier!

It was the norm so you didn't think anything of it (and not everyone had a proper bathroom even then)
Because it's so easy now, we can bath/shower as often as we like

Exactly. This is an issue where I would say take your advice from doctors and dermatologists, rather than from mumsnet.

Another baffled one... I honestly never considered that anyone might be washing their kids less than once every couple of days at max here

I have ADHD too but also OCD which is a battle sometimes but my 2 were bathed every single night without fail ( unless unwell ) and now at 12 and 20 are the same. They both have ASD and I suspect OCD too as are germophobes, I’m not at all, they don’t ever need telling to have a shower or bath as it’s what they’re used to.

i was born in 1978 and am 45. My mum bathed us every single night. I know that was not normal for that time but just having a bath on a Sunday would have been horrible, I liked the feeling of being clean for bed.

ultimately, we’re all different and I suppose there is no right or wrong as long as there is some daily washing with a flannel etc. I have relaxed over my hair over the years as it’s thick and takes ages to dry, i used to wash it twice a day before I was medicated for OCD which is ridiculous and I didn’t realise how bad I was.

I have 4DC including twins and a nightly bath with hair wash (DD always had long hair too) was just a part of parenting duty, same as feeding them. When they were in nighttime nappies, I’d also do a quick bum wash in the shower in the morning too. It doesn’t take that long and they generally feel more comfy before bed.

DC in nappies and small DC with messy toileting need a daily bum soak and proper wash IMO. Even older DC will dribble a bit. I can’t get my head round parents not washing babies/toddlers when they’ve been soaked in urine all day. Wipes don’t cut it. They must feel so uncomfortable!

DTS1 also had quite bad eczema when he was younger. I used to bath him daily using soap not shower gel and cover him in double base which didn’t worsen his skin at all. In fact GP told me not washing them often was outdated advice as bacteria builds up on the damaged skin.

I always remember a teacher coming on a similar thread saying they can smell which kid is bathed daily and which isn’t very easily! I’d rather mine be the clean kid, it’s not hard.

If he's showered and hair washed after swimming he doesn't need bathing at home. Any other night it depends on the child. My daughter used to be every other night up until about 9 when puberty kicked in. With my son though he would be in the bath every night. Sometimes in the morning as well. He was such a dirt magnet and messy eater.

Our kids (older primary) have a bath or shower at home every day (apart from a shower at swimming on swimming lessons day). They have done that since they were babies. I think its as much part of the routine as eating dinner, brushing teeth etc. I can probably count on one hand the number of times they have missed a bath in their lifetime (getting back very late from a day out for example, then they would have a bath first thing the next day). We will even do a bath visiting family for a long day! Its just normal in both our families that everyone baths/showers every day.

Ive always found it easier (especially when they were younger) to do the bath before dinner, then dinner in pjs and off upstairs after dinner to read/get ready for bed.

I know its not neglectful to skip the odd day when they are younger kids, but personally I would never skip having a bath/shower myself nor would my Husband, so I want my kids going to bed clean every night too.

When we were little in the late 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, we had a weekly or twice weekly bath (only hair wash on a Sunday really) and then had strip washed on the non-bath nights. Mum strip washed us at the sink until we were old enough to strip wash ourselves on non-bath nights.

In the 50’s, they had weekly baths (tin bath in front of the fire for many) and shared water and strip washed every day. It wasn’t seen as abnormal or neglectful.

@Daftmum47 I wouldn’t worry too much - but perhaps like you say, get into a nice Sunday night routine as well as the pool showering. Then increase it as he gets older and stinky, as all teens do!

He should be bathed every night. This isn't the 1800s.

We properly bath our daughter probably 2-3 times a week, one of which is swimming. Hair is only after swimming.

Oh to add the recommendation to us was not to bath everyday. Her skin was prone to conditions (both her dad and half brother have issues) I suppose it depends on the child

If he's using a public pool without having washed for days, that's just grim. No one wants a buildup of fecal matter in the pool with them.

I’m glad was helpful. I have some areas of my life which are chaos atm and I have been reading habits Atomic Habits which has been really helpful. Recommended to me by another mumsnetter actually.

The kitchen / kettle thing is my new thing and I am so pleased with it!

It’s such good news the bathroom is chaotic, because that’s a goal for bath times you can really get stuck into and it will be much more manageable after. If you have a big primark I found their organiser stuff is quite cheap but looks nice.

I recently organised my sons laundry in his drawers with dividers (well bits of cardboard boxes 😬) and labels all Marie kondo folded and I get such joy out of doing and putting away his washing now. (the rest of the laundry is still a state but the 1% gains I am determined to keep!).

You can do this OP 😊 Have every faith!