About this man shouting at DM to smile

[sittingonacornflake]

Ugh.

What would you have said in this scenario?

Walking along a bridge today with DM and a man walking in the opposite direction had a dog on a long lead who got tangled up in DM's leg. Bit of a non incident and we carried on walking once untangled but the man shouted back 'smile love' which just filled me with rage and I had no good come back

Dear Mumsnet, please, what should I have said to him? So enraged that he shouted at DM like that!!

And that’s exactly why they should mind their own bloody business and not comment on a strangers face!

Love it. Love Mummy Hulk!

I once had one of these when i saw a man beating a dog while out for a walk with DS1 and his best friend. I went full on Mummy Hulk.

We kept walking and there was total silence from the boys then i heard a whispered; 'Your mum is fierce'.

I am now apparently 'Like, a total legend, mum' in his group of 12 year old friends. (It won't last when puberty hits though).

Have to admit I would probably have terrified him by bursting into song from Hamilton! He wouldn’t try it again 😂

I don’t understand you at all. I’ve never come across anyone who likes or is okay with a random stranger telling them to ‘smile’ or ‘cheer up darling it may never happen’ or whatever else smug, trite crap comes out of their mouth. Would you be ok with a stranger randomly telling you to lose/gain weight or say ‘I don’t like that outfit you’re wearing’ or ‘get a different hairstyle that one looks terrible on you’ - you’d be ok with that kind of thing?

@Growlybear83 we get it. You and everyone you know are happy to be told what to do by strangers in the street. I'm thrilled for you, it must be brilliant to enjoy being so...compliant. But are you really going to continue to pretend to be taken aback that other people (women) don't like it? What do you think people (men) gain from telling strangers (women) what to do with their faces/other behaviour that is none of anyone's business? I'm fascinated to understand more about what motivates this behaviour and you seem to be very knowledgeable. TIA.

Well we'll have to agree that we're different, won't we. I don't actually know anyone in real life who would be offended to the point where they start a thread on the internet to complain about this situation. If you've read my posts, you will see that I haven't said I like such comments, but that I don't understand why people would be bothered by them. I think this is a very different context to someone coming up in the street at random and telling me I'm fat, thin, etc because the OPs mother had already interacted with the man - he didn't just walk past and make the remark, it was done after whatever transpired with the dog and it's lead.

But actually I do remember an incident many years ago when I was quite overweight and bumped into someone by mistake, and she called me a silly fat cow. It was hurtful, but it inspired me to lose loads of weight. I never thought that she had no right to say that, any more than I thought I had the right to respond with an equally cutting remark. On the other hand, I've had complete strangers in the past coming up to me to say they loved my bag or coat, and I've had people I don't know making complimentary comments about my hair when I've been in a supermarket checkout or on the bus. I think I'll leave everyone to it on this very bizarre thread now - many of the people clearly don't understand my viewpoint any more than I understand theirs. 😆

Depends what you want to achieve. If you want to reward him with the attention he's seeking, then any response will do. Chastising him, a 'witty' put down, a smile and a simper, doesn't matter, all grist to his mill.
If you want to show him that his behaviour doesn't achieve his desired outcome of a women's attention, then you act as though he didn't speak. Carry on your chat with your mum as though he isn't there.

@Growlybear83 you think OP shouldn't care enough to start a thread on the Internet about it but you're happy to keep posting on said thread?

Do you not understand the difference between giving and receiving a compliment from a stranger, and giving or receiving an insult?

Let's try this: no one I know or have ever heard of has been inspired to lose weight by being insulted by a stranger in the street and I think you're silly to write about it on Mumsnet and I'll prove it by going on and on about that one thing, with increasing incredulity.